November 10th, 2007
perhaps i / we may help you…..
It seems that some of you wonderful ppl have been plagued by some troubles or situation whereby you just don’t know who to confide to or find a solution. Therefore, i created this link just for questions and hopefully answers so that i, together with the other wonderful ppl out there might be able to give you some advise or even answer some of your queries.. Though we might not give you the eventual solutions, we might be some good listening ears. So here’s to you my dear friends..leave your worries, questions or perhaps dilemas here and let us try to free you from the narrow box that you are t.r.a.p.p..e.d!!!!
on November 10th, 2007 at 10:33 am
Wht if i feel trapped about something actually tat can be release by my mum?
i wanna leave my hse but i can’t.
i feel tat there’s no meaning for m for living in this world.
i’m not thinking of some stupid thing tat i used to think b4.
just wanna sae something tat has been trapped inside my mind for very long=(
Anyway, jiayou in everything u do!
on November 10th, 2007 at 11:10 am
hihi… its my first time leaving a comment… LOLS…
hmmm.. im realli quite down tis few mths… happen to found that we can leave our worries here..
thiis few mths seems quite wrong. best friend of mine sort of left me one by one cuz of some quarrells. some is due to my busy with o lvl exams. smtime jus felt that i’m easily replaced by another person.. wat shld i do? though i tried to remain positive but smtime sutiation realli don allows mii to.
on November 10th, 2007 at 11:33 am
Wow, thanks Bryan for wanting to be a listener. Perhaps I really got things which can only write down rather than speaking it out. Sometimes I really felt alone, when everyone is having fun out there, and I am trapped alone in my own whole. Sometimes this is good, but sometimes i can always hear the ‘devil’s’ voices. Negative thoughts may just come and that will some how leads to depression.
I believe this is what many or most of the people will go through at times. So what will u do when u go through this? Sometimes I want to call someone to talk about it, but yet you do not know how to start. is this being self centered or what? it is only about I, me and myself?
I wish I could have more friends who can hear my thoughts, not only reading, but really listen to me. I am someone who cherish personal talk a lot, because I can find fulfillment through that, knowing that the person who listen to me is really listening. Haha.
Of cos as much as possible, I would want to stay positive. But afterall, human are still human. We have feelings, ups and downs. After working a lot of overtime for this whole wk, I am down with flu and cough, this make me feel worse. Haiz…so sian.
on November 10th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
OMG BRYAN NICE ONE MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOUR PRINCESS AND THE DUDE SHOW COMING WORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOOKING FORWARD TO SEE WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STAY HAPPY ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
on November 10th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
yay! im the first! haha. It’s true that sometimes i cannot find someone who could hear me out and listen to me. It’s tough because people these days are always to preoccupied with their lives that they don’t stop and listen to others. So sad. I actually have lots of family problems that most of the time i feel ashamed to share with others. Sometimes, seeing other children with happy family really makes me wonder if i did somehing wrong in my previous life. I must say, although my family problems are quite serious, and could lead to me having a very unhappy life, i still love them. Really. (]=]
on November 10th, 2007 at 3:06 pm
Hi to all Bryan’s friends, fans, viewers, site-readers.
I’ll start with a short introduction of myself. I am a friend of Bryan, was a TV writer (and had many wonderful opportunities to work with Bryan), and am now a magazine editor. Hmm in many eyes, I am considered a `successful` creative personnel.
Why I am writing this, was mainly for a message posted by `Serene` in Bryan’s previous thread. So Serene, this is from my personal experience & my $1 worth of advice to you (and others who suffered from low self esteem).
I was a school-quitter. Dropped school before my A-level exam, so theoretically, I am consider an `O-level Cert Holder`. When I joined the then TCS in mid 90s, I started off as an asst.producer, drawing tiny pays and doing very much of the 打杂 thingys, until one day I decided I had enough, and tendered my resignation.
To my surprise, our then top management asked to see me, told me he sees potential in me, and asked me how he can help.
I thought of my passion in writing, shared that with my BIG BOSS, and told him “我想当撰稿，但我知道我没有学历。”
His answer and arrangement changed my career plan entirely, and created this person whom many artistes, work buddies, viewers commented “very creative, we like your work.”, and I shamelessly admit that, that’s me
In life, we all need a mentor who give us wise words & better still, provide an environment to breed our dreams.
But the basic element is always about you. Whether you want your dreams to be materialized, or not?
*Back in 1996, what my BIG BOSS told me was: 我们这行不讲学历，只看实力。
on November 10th, 2007 at 4:41 pm
Well..hope someone can help me..i hav been ‘trapped’ in this situation for months.
I hav a friend who likes to owe people’s money..me and my other friend lent her money since months ago..not just 2 or 3 dollars..we lent a total of $50 and everytime when we asked her to pay us back, she fake cry in front of us with many ppl around and said she dun hav money..however we caught her buying things many times and when we confront her about this..she fake cry again. Me and my other friend wanted to tell this thing to her parent but in the end, 心软 cause she is our good friend and we hav been friends for 3 years. But now, she even want us to lie to her parents about school stuffs..both if us are in dilemma. Many times, me and my friend felt that we shouldn’t friend her anymore..but..again..心软.
on November 10th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
do you think one should just ‘go’ when one resigned? Ignore goodwill?
on November 10th, 2007 at 5:47 pm
hahahah!!! thanks bryan!!!!!! hehhe.. ii dun have much worries now!!! hehehhe… but if ii have one.. ii will post it here!!!! HAHAH!!! u tk care! ii feel that all of us should[ dun worri , be happy!!! GAN GAN ZUO GE KAI XIN REN!!! ] right???!!! ahahah loves.
on November 10th, 2007 at 7:10 pm
We are happy that you have finally freed yourself of being trapped in your ‘shell’ and got it off and has a new beginning.
Happy to know that you are willing to give a helping hand to hear those who are currently ‘trapped’ with unhappiness or worries. With your kind heart and sincerity, we are already blessed with good fortune.
Thank you for willing to lend a listening ears as we do believe your sincerity has already ease some of the heartaches and worries. Though we do not have any worry but we hope all those who are trapped will soon be able to emerge a new beginning like what Bryan has achieved.
Be blessed to all.
on November 10th, 2007 at 7:39 pm
Will you marry me???!
Haha kidding.
on November 10th, 2007 at 7:59 pm
Something to ponder:
“The best way to succeed in this world is to act on the advice you give to others”
Ryan’s mom
on November 10th, 2007 at 9:01 pm
To Drey and szechian
seems like your situation sounds rather familar.. one simple line. Blood is thicker than water. It is because that you love them so much that you cared and thus it hurts.try to look at it from another angle. without them, there wouldn’t be you. Perhaps, you really owe it to them in your previous life and this life you just have to pay your debts lor.Sigh..really “bo pian” you know..family will always be stuck with you..not like friends, who can simply come and go..because there isn’t anything tangible that holds/bounds you together..even married couple can divorce..isn’t? Whenever you feel down or felt like your family is pulling you down, always remeber that no matter what, blood is thicker than water..Also, don’t forget one simple fact, we did not choose the family when we come into this world, its been simply arranged. So rather then to fight against it, learn to embrace it.. why do we sometimes find it so simple to forgive others(not related ppl) but yet we get so tough with our families? simple. because we love them far too muchfor our own good.That…is not wrong..that, makes us a better person…cheers!
on November 10th, 2007 at 9:06 pm
Dera PH,
not sure if i have misread your question so i will just address it by how i understood your line. If i were to resign, there must be a thousand and one reasons that resulted in such a decision..Goodwill? well, there might be many but however, its up to you to measure if the amount of goodwill is enough so sustain the unhappiness you felt if you were to continue with your job. On s selfish note, one really has to put their interest first because only a happy you can generate good results/performance. Ask yourself this, do you live for others..or for yourself?
on November 10th, 2007 at 9:11 pm
to shujuan,
i am glad that you have a soft spot within.. that MAKES YOU HUMAN..HOWEVER, IF YOU FEEL THAT YOUR FRIEND IS GETTING BAD TO WORST, then as a friend, i think its best that you guys come clean and tell your friend what she is doing is not right( Ignore her fake tears). If she does not learn anythin from you guys, better to stay away from her rather than play a part as her accomplice..you guys might just be like her in no time. Sometimes, we have to be hard hearted when its for the good of the other that we care about. Also, let go of the fifty dollars la..i think its rather hard for her to come up with the money and she might have to generate more lies just to get that money to pay you guys back….
on November 10th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
Dear christabel,
Tommy page has got a song ” a shoulder to cry on” and dionne warwick has got one too”that’s what friends are for”..Don’t be afraid to pick up the phone just to talk to your friend about me,myself and christabel… they should only feel honoured that you trust them well enough to confide your innermost self to them.Not everyone in this world can proudly confer the tittle of “a good/best friend” on themselves. So, cut your pals some slack and trust that they are willing to listen to you. If they find you a hassle, perhaps…you should find some new friends la!!!
on November 10th, 2007 at 9:22 pm
dear 123,
what can i say? friends do come and go…friendship is something that is really tangible because it has no ties and lawful binding. Take it in good stride if your friends leave you..Ask yourself if you have been a friend ..If so, its their loss. However, if you do detect ways in which you don’t prove to be a good friend, work on your shortcomings then..we are all not perfect..but, we can strive to be better ya?
on November 10th, 2007 at 9:53 pm
Hi Bryan,
I have been guided throughout until now that what i don’t people to do to me, i don’t do to people. but i realise i am really very foolish because i have been hurt again and again! Friends do come and go and i can let go but those who are more than 15 years of friendship, how not to feel hurt, easier said than done. i don’t know who to believe and trust now? Previously i used to and i am sure most people who never been in the same situation will say this” this guy is obviously lying and cheating your feeling, why so don’t leave him.”Well, is really easy to point and say this to people because we are not in her shoe. feelings are difficult to just “keep or release” as and when, especially when i give if not 100% then at least 95%! Though i know that he keep lying to me but when he is nice to me, i will just SOFTHEARTED again. and i know he is NOT GENUNINE to me, stupid me right? but i have given my heart to him, how??? I am really very very miserable!!! and he is the type who will “protect” himself and not care or will pretend to care for me but what can i do? I refuse to admit that he is like that and there is no such “horrible” type of people. I know he is very good at playing psychological effect with me, and worst is he SUCCEED! He will “conditioned” me and then “play out” such as be real nice to me all along and then ignore me, happen many times!….letting me feel so hurt and yet urge to be with him. When he is nice, he is really very very nice and caring (though i really know he is not genuine). One of the reason is he is not trusting ppl, including me and when i say out something that he is at fault, he will be very angry and also whatever i say, he will say is my fault even if is not mine. I try many many times explaining but no use…but I CARE about him misunderstand me! pls help!
on November 10th, 2007 at 10:00 pm
Hi Bryan, is really very nice of you to open your blog for such meaningful act! CHEERS FOR YOU!
Can you share with us about how to treat friends and colleagues? Because normally we “BELIEVE OR THINK” that that person is worthtrusty, we confide in them especially when one is in saddness,etc, and happen that that person come along…..Do you ever been hurt or betray by friends, esp best friend? What has that changes your way of treating ppl? Standard answer is be more careful but the point is “we THINK OR BELIEVE AND CAREFUL that’s why we trust that person to be worth trusty? Can’t reallyt tell because even long time best friends can betray you, right? isn’t that the last person you would think of? So how? but if we treat ppl not with our heart and even will think/suspect, i feel that that is very tiring and also what if that person actually can be a REAL good friend but just because of that “protective shield/suspicious”, we actually lost such rare opportunity. Really at lost with handling ppl!
on November 10th, 2007 at 10:13 pm
Bryan, I am still trapped and deeper and deeper!!!!!!!
Could you refer back to those comment under the one that you are trapped because i think i better don’t repeat again. THANKS!!!!
I have tried to seek help from a best friend again but got hurt and went into deeper depression!!!! I lost trust in ppl totally but i find “comfort” in you because you have been through it!!!
I really don’t want my parents to know but i got noone to confide!!! Can you share with us how you can through? How I wish i am quan yi feng because at least she has a “buddy” like you to be with her. Just like quan said in her show, depression is not something that we want to put inside our pocket, is transparent, is not that we want to be like that but to someone who is depressed, simple act seems really difficult to do.
I think my depression make me phobia to go out because each time i try, those ppl make me very stressed in handling and if a couple of time in continous, my depression will start again and get more serious (but now i don’t have suicide thoughts or sometime just a flash only)…so far i don’t dare to and maybe is a blessing because is not up to that stage yet but when depression get in, i will feel very very sad(sometimes will cry and cry but sometimes tears rolls inside and feel even worst!)!! I have lost interest in tings that i used to believe/enjoy doing….I really don’t dare to called sos hotline because i tink they will be able to “track” and find out my number,etc, and i just don’t know how to confide anymore…Now only you are able to help me because i know i will NOT be betray or hurt by you!!
THANKS BRYAN!!!!
on November 10th, 2007 at 10:52 pm
hi shujuan,
$50 is a small price to pay to get to “know” a friend.
Be kind to yourself, forget about your $50, as well as this friend. If this “friend” of yours fakes tears in front of others, and wants you to conspire to cheat her parents, it means she has dubious character, not worth your friendship. Don’t help her anymore. Most importantly, stay away from her, as far as possible.
True friends are those who are honest with you. True friends don’t play such games.
In our life, we need to constantly choose our friends, especially our good friends, because they influence the person we will become. Choose those worthy of your friendship.
But of course if you are 心软, find a chance to talk to her alone. If she apologises and sincerely explains herself, keep her as a friend, but know in your heart that she has tendencies to be a hypocrite. So be wary of her. But really, it’s tiring to be wary of friends, so dropping her a a friend and keeping a distance is easier. Who knows, she may jus be woken up by your leaving!
My usual practice: give 3 chances. If by the 3rd time they still do not change, drop them.
Haha, Bryan writes so gently…i feel my words compared to his are so harsh. But really, protect yourself from such “friends”.
on November 10th, 2007 at 11:04 pm
Hi Bryan,
Never knew you were so multi-talented.. Not only being a host, artist/designer and now an adviser.. heehee..
Think everyone has problems.. no one spared. Sometimes when I feel that I was so trapped that hardly could breath, I would meet up some very close and humourous friends over dinner. Not really to complain.. but some updates.. hee.. After a great dinner and hearty laughs, it will lighten up my mood. Although it will not solve problems but definitely make me feels better.
Maybe that is how we know some very good hang out place..? haha
on November 10th, 2007 at 11:13 pm
hi everyone who has posted their problems,
This is wat i do when i meet problems:
1. write a journal/diary/blog…writing is a way to release pent-up emotions, using whatever language (eng/chin/nice/foul). Don’t have to be concerned what you write is readable, cos it’s jus like shouting out loud, doesn’t matter what you shout.
2. find someone you can help…family, friends, strangers, volunteer work, donation…it basically lets us know that we’re still needed by others, and it gives an uplift to our spirits.
3. talk to good friends…keeps me level-headed and they offer the best advice becos they know me so well
4. read books (search for the topic of your interest in amazon and go to the library to borrow these books)…it broadens our horizons and gives fresh perspectives… sometimes a line in a book will make us see things from a different angle and change our lives for the better forever.
4. have a list of inspirational songs in yr mp3…i call it my “ritual of music”…consisting of my fav singers and others with motivational lyrics…i listen to it everyday at least once.
My mentor once said, if a problem can be solved, look for ways to solve it. Ask people. If it can’t be solved, then leave it behind and don’t think about it anymore.
on November 10th, 2007 at 11:16 pm
Dear bryan,
simply looking forward to ur shows on every monday!! it simply brighten up my day especially such a stressful day a work! Jia you!! take care!
on November 10th, 2007 at 11:23 pm
How should I start… I find relationship (in general) is very weak. People often say “time is the best medicine” but it isn’t the case for relationship. It is through time, we find more faults and weaknesses in person. If we embrace it, we make better friends, better soulmates, better siblings etc. On the contrary, relationship fails. After reading many of the posts here, i find that communication seems to be a major problem among us. Though we talk every day, every hour, somehow the things we intended to say or think doesn’t come through exactly the way we wanted.
In my heart, I am a good friend, a good sis and a good daughter. Whichever roles that I am undertaking requires more attention, i nearly always tried to be there for them. However, having said enough, the worst part about me is I am a good listener but never a good speaker. Very often than not, I understand the people around me much more than anyone understands me. Somehow, it just hurts when you really love them but they doubt about it.
Nevertheless, I still love the people around me very much. I just hope one day someone somewhere will really learn to understand and appreciate me; and extend this wish to everyone here.
Stay happy alwayz. (“,)
Regards.
P.S. On a side note,
Shujuan, I do think that you should try to find out more about the rationale of the behavioral of your friend. Since you’ve been good friends for 3 years, I believed this incident may have arise somewhat recently. It is always good to help someone out from the dark than leaving her out astray. I believed your sincerity and friendship can withstand all challenges ahead. =)
on November 10th, 2007 at 11:31 pm
Thanks Bryan, I’ve got nothing to say…You are such a great writer. Your replied to everyone is really great. Thanks for being a listener.
on November 10th, 2007 at 11:39 pm
hi bryan~ First of all, I would like to say, you have been (and still are) a great artise =D
thanks for wanting to be a listener~ i feel tt i’m kinda living in a world of irony… coz i like this fren of mine.. but the problem is.. he just broke up with his gf some time back and it seems tt both of them still have feelings for each other.. n all i had been doing, is to encourage him and also kinda help him sort out his thinking.. i know i would be very happy for them if they really get back together (n are happy).. but the whole situation seems more sticky than it is.. haizzz
aahhhh.. glad there’s place for me to say all this out.. phew.. thanks.. hahaa..
good luck to u too ~~ !!
on November 10th, 2007 at 11:46 pm
Hi Bryan, i just want to know in the 2nd Episope, the green polo shirt u wearing is what brand and from where do u buy it from? cos my working staff love it alot and “die die” want to lay his hands on it. So would really appreciate if you can remember which shirt u wear and share it with me.. or rather him
on November 11th, 2007 at 6:47 am
To bryan:
Thanks for ur advice..but after much thoughts..decided not to take ur advice..sorry to have wasted ur time to write ur advice..cause really can’t let go of the money..it’s a huge sum of money to us, students..maybe that is what i call, retribution..always feel that it’s kind of dumb to be ‘trapped’ in a situation when u could just simply run away from it and that is what i always did and was happy that i was not trapped in any situation..but now..know that this method doesn’t all the time..anyway..just wanna thank u..well..i did help a little..decided to end our friendship as there are other bad things that she did other than this..though a little sad..but 长痛不如短痛。
To others who are trapped:
Well..although..i am so called, ‘ trapped ‘, just wanna help u all with some suggestions..maybe it will help for some situations..well it did work for me sometimes..but now..see my previous message than u all will know. I think the best way to untrapped urself is have this thinking..when u feel trapped, u r trapped but if u feel that u r not trapped then u r not trapped and forget about ur ‘trapped’ situation..in other words..run away from ur situation..well maybe u feel that it is a coward’s action to do that..but then i rather be coward than feeling sad, depressed all the time..let time heal ur wound and when that time comes..u can proudly say that u r not trapped anymore! (Although u ran away from it) If that doesn’t help..then..too bad..cause it didn’t help in my situation now either.
on November 11th, 2007 at 8:31 am
Bryan, u really use your heart to ans all other ppl’s sad thing.
u simply rocks! *
Know tat blood is thicker than water but i still cant help it.
I want to chnge my father.
But it seems tat im wrg abt thinkin of chnging him.
he loves to scold vulgarities.
he loves to vent his anger on my mum,sibling & me.
it had been happening more than 3yrs.
and he’s in a relationship with other married woman.
my mum still love him.
but we hate him.
ok~ dun sae abt sad thing le..
lookin 4wrd to watch ur new show! *
with 7 princess & fann wong.. =P
& this thur gt ‘wo de dao yiu shi ming xing’
the scene is nice & u sureli feel very relaxed when u r there ba?
hees~ !
Anyway, support u alwaes* ^o^
on November 11th, 2007 at 10:17 am
sorry bryan,i asked u so many times but u havent answer me yet.do u practise feng shui?
on November 11th, 2007 at 11:15 am
dear dear 316,
thousand apologies for this late reply . The fact is that i don’t practise fengshui but i have a shufu who is known to all as wang shifu who has guided me along for donkey wears. Thru him, i have come to learn of some basic fundamentals which i apply in my every day life and also when it comes to designing…. hope that that answers your question. let e guess, your next question would be how to contact him ya? well, his cellphone no is 96320211.. just tell him that i told you to look for him and he will take good care of you…
on November 11th, 2007 at 11:19 am
dearest depressed,
how i long for the day when you no longer use this nick…. true enough it takes quite a while to spring back from depression..even my pla yifeng went in and out of it and jumped right back into depression at the sound of an f16 soaring across the blue sky.
on November 11th, 2007 at 12:46 pm
hi bryan, looking at all the replies and advice you’ve given, i must say its really nice of you to do so especially since youre so busy filming and everything.
haha yes, i feel trapped too. i have a boyfriend of 2years+ ( we’re 17 now ), and ever since we entered jc hes changed. he doesnt have any time for me anymore and he always breaks his promises. he matters alot to me and it hurts everytime he does that. its the holidays now, and although he has given me his word that he will spend more tme with me, im afraid it wont happen. sometimes i got so drained that i wanted to leave him, but i always couldnt do it. the pain in my heart is too much to bear, and he tells me he loves me and doesnt want me to leave him either.
i try to understand, really, but sometimes its really too hard. i dont know whats going on in his mind either. to say the truth, i have no idea what a guy wants/thinks.
i once asked him what he would do if some guy likes me and can pei wo when he cant. he said he wouldnt do anything, because he trusts that i wont fall for that guy.
i felt – still feel, by the way – ambivalent about his answer. on one hand, its good that he can trust me so much that he wont worry about me liking someone else. ( also, he’ll be entering ns next year, so its a really good thing i guess ) on the other hand though, it means that he’ll take me for granted since he knows i wont leave him.
what i dont understand is why wont he feel jealous? why wont he then accompany me, be there for me?
what should i do? as a man yourself, bryan, how would you feel?
sorry this post is sooo long, but any advice you give is very much appreciated (: thanks
on November 11th, 2007 at 1:21 pm
Hi bryan,
what I’m going through is a small problem compared to what everyone else up there are facing. I’m currently in the midst of my ‘A’ Level Exams yet I can’t myself to concentrate, to study. For the past few months even till my prelims, I just don’t have the mood to study. I can’t seem to absorb anything that’s being taught and what seemed logical in the past wasn’t so logical now. It doesn’t feel good seeing those around me working so hard and I’m making so little progress in my revision. Never was it so hard to even get myself to concentrate and get started. Reading through summaries don’t work for me, so it’s like I have to re-understand all the topics again, so that I can accept the information presented. I need much more time for revision and so I get very stress when I can’t get myself to study. Suddenly even close friends seem so distant. At this stage, everyone would be busy studying; no one believes that I can’t get started on my revision. The replies I get are “Don’t bluff lah” and “nevermind lah, you don’t need to study also can get A”. This makes me feel even more stressed and down. People are stressed when they study, I’m stressed because I can’t study… Why can’t I just force myself to study? Why do I find it so hard to just memorise everything… forget about trying to get myself to understand the whole topic all over again… 9 more days, 5 more papers to go…
Studies is not everything but it’s still very important for now. Thanks for listening!=)
on November 11th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
Hi Bryan, now when i heard the ringing of someone who i am afraid of or any call that i am afraid to pick up, i will feel very very scare (the feeling of scare is from hand to leg “trembling” inside and then hands and legs starts to wobble and cold) and will start to feel very very sad too and worst will try to think of ways to avoid ….is that how yifeng feel when she is into depression again? and the same feeling when someone lies to me again!
because i am not sure if this is what ppl mean by depression “in action”…but those kind of feeling gets more intense and intense and sometimes will hve “blank mind” too
on November 11th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
Just now, I’ve watched some of the past Channel U video clips from Tudou. Remember the Channel U days (that time due to some circumstances I was not working), not only Bryan but also a number of celebrities joined this small family. At that time, many of them knew there were many obstacles for them to overcome, they still join this family.
Even though Channel U has to merge with MediaCorp, I can see the spirits are still there.
I also remember the days how I dislike you, Bryan Wong (when you were still with TCS days). Why I dislike him? Simple! He was too proud of himself. Too 自以为事 (TCS without cannot survive). I am so sorry, Bryan, commenting my opinions here (I also know that many people will dislike me what I say over here). After you have joined Channel U, they have changed you into a different YOU. I can feel that you have noticed you have changed into a new person. A new Bryan Wong.
That is where I have a complete opinion of you. At that time, you have accompanied me to cross a hurdle (you make me laugh and also make me understand few things).
Actually in life, there are many obstacles for us to cross. Sometimes we feel ups and downs. Sometimes we need a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes we need a listening ear. There are lots of people down the road to help all of us.
Remember this, 世界有温情…
on November 11th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
I quit my job to help a close relative to set up business, now that it’s picking up, she thinks that she is overpaying me. She accused me of having working attitude which is not true. I left early because i have exams. In fact, throughout this period, i have never taken leaves,even to study for exams or tests.
What I did was to informed her and another relative that i have paper coming up soon and I will need to leave early on certain days, which she approved but later on, said that I was not putting effort in my job.
i felt insulted, unappreciated. In a way, i can strongly feel that she just want me to leave. i am very upset and felt no value anymore.
On one hand, i hope to stay and help, afterall my efforts are all in the business, there are bound to have feelings.
On the other hand, i thought maybe i should just leave and look for a new place and new job.
What should I do?
on November 11th, 2007 at 3:50 pm
hi depressed,
One thing you have to be aware of is that, the only person who can help you out of your depression is…. YOURSELF.
Our greatest enemy in life is OURSELF, but our greatest alliance is also OURSELF.
We decide whether we rise or fall, we decide whether we want to live happily or depressingly, we decide how we wanna live our life.
From your posts, i see that u depend a lot on others for your happiness. I’m not saying that this is right or wrong, but this is an INefficient method. If you are so thirsty, will you still wait for others to be free to fetch you water? If you wanna score for your exam, will you ask others to study for you? This is the same logic. If you want to get out of your depression, then you have to find ways to get out yourself. Read books which teach you methods to be happy, observe how people can still be happy in bad situations, ask people who are always happy on how they think when they are in bad stituations. i can also share, if there’s anything you wanna know. If you want, there are a lot that can be done to improve your life. But remember, it has to start from YOU….
So what’s ur decision now?
on November 11th, 2007 at 3:53 pm
btw, in response to your previous question, i’m a special ed teacher.
on November 11th, 2007 at 5:13 pm
Hi Bryan,
Like your designs!! Admire your talents!! 2 thumbs up is not enough!!However, i have one unrelated question which i hope you can help! *hee* Think in last week or the week before, home deco show, Mark’s tu di was wearing a piano shirt, i would really like to find out when i can find the shirt. It’s for a gift. Hope you can help! =) Thanks
Di
on November 11th, 2007 at 5:59 pm
wow… bryan, so nice of u to reply to almost all of the messages posted here.
你真的很有心!
guess everyone will feel trapped/ depreesed at some points in their lives and it comes and go… sometimes from nowhere and without a reason… and sometimes, it may be due to family, friends, relationships, work, or just ourselves.
i realised just recently that it’s very easy to fall deeper and deeper into depression simply coz we kept dwelling on it…
why not try to shift our focus onto something that will make us happy instead?
try to see things from the other angle… a glass can be half empty or half full; try to appreciate the nice little things/ happenings around u; don’t add too much burden on urself… coz most of the times the pressure comes from within…
a trapped situation can sometimes untrapped itself overnight… it’s true coz it happened to me recently…yes, miraculously…
so, maybe when it comes to these tricky situations… after you given your best effort, just sit back and let nature takes its course and see what it brings you.
and especially to depressed and all those who are feeling a little down…
hopefully by putting in some conscious effort everyday to be happy, u can rise up from down under and even ride on the waves someday!
finally, no matter what… there’s always this blog of bryan where u can come and pour out ur worries etc.. to get it off your chest and also get some words of encouragement from the man himself and maybe other strangers who are also here. yes bryan?
on November 11th, 2007 at 6:12 pm
hi bryan,thanks for your reply.I was very surprised that you will reply me.Xie Xie.I currently oso practising feng shui under a shifu.I heard that your Wang shifu is very famous and popular,if got chance,i will let him see my fortune.
on November 11th, 2007 at 6:45 pm
hi bryan,
maybe it is not a good time to say this. but u dun mind if i ask.
if someone who is of reputable figure (eg a monk), whom u trust from the time u met him till now, and only now that you realised that he cheated everybody of their trust in him, including you yourself, how will you feel about it?
on November 11th, 2007 at 7:23 pm
dear kel..
i stand by the line that everyone is innocent till prooven guilty… i am saddened by the lost of faith in humanity. please all do be more ‘renci’ to your fellow beings.
on November 11th, 2007 at 7:26 pm
dear ah gal,
ever heard of the saying ‘after crossing the river demolish the bridge’? hope that it is not applicable to your case ..however, concentrate on your studies now and the world will be bigger [plans for you…
on November 11th, 2007 at 7:28 pm
dearest reformed gin,
thank you for your honesty.. i did not really like myself at that time too..joining mw has been a real enriching process and indeed i became a better person.. we all do grow…..
on November 11th, 2007 at 7:33 pm
dearest neglected,
at the tender age of seventeen [been there before], relationships seemed to be a priority.. however, when you grow older you find new things that you will list under the priority list rather then this…Enjoy the moment while it last, play no games just to test out if he really cares because afterall, what is yours is meant to be yours. boys tend to want their own personal space to meet up with their peers and do macho stuffs together, something which you gals might not understand..but, its just some ego things la..don’t dwell too much on it…
on November 11th, 2007 at 10:04 pm
Hi pigcahontas,
Yes I am aware that ultimately is MYSELF!!! but I really TRY VERY VERY HARD and now i am doing exactly what you said “ask people who are always happy on how they think when they are in bad stituations.” SIMPLY BECAUSE I WAN TO HELP MYSELF but the problem is I REALLY UNABLE to!!! Just like what yifeng said in her talk show that depression is not something we want to put inside our pocket and not that we don’t want to do(which seems so easy to many). I really know and try very very hard not to depend on others but like i said, each time i tried, the more it gets serious (especially before i wrote in bryan’s blog, i have been “alone” dealing …)…i do ask myself all those qns such as “why can’t i do it”, etc and blame myself for almost everything because i really….hmm….(i will just wakeup in the night feeling so scared and sad/depressed because i am soooooo helpless !!! That feeling is undescriable!!!)
but i know you are sincere in helping me and also bryan’s sincerity in hoping that i won’t use this nick….THANKS BOTH OF YOU! ALL THE BEST TO BOTH OF YOU!!!….
on November 11th, 2007 at 10:04 pm
bryan …
this might be a long post …
iie have problems on both friends annd relationship …
my friends seem to be shutting their door on me .
iie tried veri hard to get into their world but they jusy like kindda leave me out .
there was once when we went out together about 8 of us .
iie was walking infront of all of them when iie turn back behind to look for them , they arre all gone .
iie was very very sad and scared at the same time coz that place is in orchard and iie am staying at hougang .
iie once tried to call them but they did not answer my call .
after awhile only then one of them called me .
they said they went to 7eleven annd couldnt find me but iie just got a kind of feeling that they want me to go on my own .
then when iie turned to look at one of my friend she even stare at me in a very fierce way …
then the whole day iie was like so moodiless …
arre they trying to shut their door on me ?
is that the way they hint to me ; ask me to leave their world ?
as for relationship …
there’s a guy who said he like me …
he’s my friend’s brother’s friend .
he keep asking me for more time .
he said he wanted more time to know each other .
up till now ; whenever iie sms him , he will say that he’s in a CCA meeting ,
saying that he’s very very busy .
iie have a feeling that his feeling for me had changed …
theres one time when iie sms him at 11pm annd he told me he was in CCA meeting .
do uue believe it ? 11pm annd he’s still in a meeting …
iie dunno wadd iie cann do already …
really wished all this will end really fast …
iie’m just so damn tired … so damn stressed out …
do not mind me too much . jiayou on ur career ! ^^
on November 11th, 2007 at 11:51 pm
Hi, bryan.
It is so kind of you to help us. Sometime i feel that i have too much exam, project and homework to do. the poly actually squeeze everything together and i don’t think they give us a lot of time to finish everything. Mind sharing some of your studying tips?
on November 11th, 2007 at 11:52 pm
Hey bryan,
I am actually feeling quite emo right now, and im really glad that I’m able to express my quandary with you.
Well, my good friend enjoys boasting about her modelling career and how much her parents are pampering her etc etc, Thing is, I was the one who introduced her to my agent and I’m really infuriated by her pompous attitude.
Alright, I know that as a friend, I shouldn’t be jealous about her success and I should actually be happy for her instead. However, its so hard to swallow such intense jealousy and its somehow instilling a huge amount of hatred within me.
Please tell me what to do? I don’t wanna lose her as her friend, but its so hard to overlook her puffed up arrogance.
on November 11th, 2007 at 11:55 pm
Bryan,
多谢您的慷慨。 其实看到您画的佛像画以后，我的心好多了，尤其是那句： “有时候，只要看开一些些，我们会过的比较快乐。。。”
平时除了上班，我都很少出门。在这以前，我参加了一个组织，有很多朋友，所以过去的三年我都认为自己身边的都是好朋友。人家说，朋友之可以共享福而不是共患难的。我和朋友之间间接中发生很多不愉快的事情，所以我决定渐渐疏远那个组织。这才发现，平时告诉我可以随时为我打开方便们的他们竟然现实起来，让我感觉人间怎么忽然变成冷漠起来。我在这里朋友不多，所以还是选择和他们一起住下去。Bryan，我不知道你身边的朋友会不会这样，这种滋味并不好受，为了这个我经常哭，我懊恼，我伤心。朋友的定义就是这样吗？ 朋友的价值就只有利用，而当你没有利用价值的时候就抛一边吗？
我承认我是一个不善于表达的人，不过我还有自己的自尊。现在我不是在他们面前苟且偷生，而是我还念着我们的友谊。现在的我，对于交朋友的确没有多大的信心，所以我成了名副其实的宅女。我知道这样不好，可是我的心门紧闭着，别人走不进来，别人的我不愿意走进去，我能怎么办？我常常告诉自己，朋友的事情就搁一旁，家里的事情才是大件事。 有时候，两件事情一起有所冲突的发生时，我整个人就快崩溃一样，一直哭一直哭，唯一可以发泄的，就是字里行间里，我把所有的都写在我的部落格内。可是精神上很压力，我能怎么办？
on November 12th, 2007 at 1:03 am
Hi Bryan, frankly, it’s really sweet of u to want to ‘listen’ to our problems. Well, how to say? Everyone has at least 1 or more problems. We need to be a problem solver and not a creator, agreed rite? But how many of us are problem solver? I dun even know if I’m 1 of the solver. I juz hope I’m one. With my job scope, I sometimes do believe I will help some of others’ problems. But need them to believe me, trust me. It’s the most difficult task maybe. Well, wish me good luck maybe.
on November 12th, 2007 at 1:55 am
hi bryan! its really sweet of you to create this post despite your busy and endless filming schedules.
all the best for everything.
on November 12th, 2007 at 4:36 am
if you have been together with someone for 10 months,
he still treats you well he can be very sweet and caring
but you are expected to obey his wishes, do as being told,
dont talk back else the next thing you hear is just the dial tone.
and long ago he has stated that, he cant promise that he will
just love you only, he might fall for others, yet he will still loves you.
plus, he has laid down the rules, only he can interfere in your life,
he wants to know who you’re with, and stops your social life with opp. gender
but you cant control him, you’ve no say in who where what he does.
the whole point of this situation is you know he is a dominating self-centered jerk,
to be put by your friends, you are bullied by a bastard who doesnt deserves you,
yet you. love him. you cried and told yourself it is not worth it, but you just… cant let go.
so during this period of cant letting go and to end this, other than wishing that
either ‘things will be better day after day’ or ‘someday. finally i cant take it anymore,
i’ve break off with him’, what else would you do?
ps.the ice-age method of listing down all the pro’s and con’s
of this relationship before making a final decision doesnt help,
becos you cant simply use rational thinkings to deal with your emotions,
if you can, if you wont be stuck, or trapped.
pps.talking it thru’ with him is not an option, he doesnt compromise
all you get to talk to is the dial tone straight after a displeasing sentence
from you. telling (a.k.a crying) to your friends, makes you feel worse feel
stupid yet you cant help it, they ask you to leave him day after day,
you just cant do it. not then, not now, not after spending sleepless nights
to stop yourself from calling and contacting him but eventually surrendering,
not after you know you’re being stupid and continues to be.
you dont wanna to leave him, and make this history and
he is not afraid of you leaving. as a matter of fact, he will just take it as it is,
if you wanted a break-up, i.e. you ever can stop loving him even after quarrels.
hi bryan, i just need to let it out.
to someone. an identity whom i know, yet i remain unknown to.
i better just click submit comment before i regret and backspace everything.
on November 12th, 2007 at 9:43 am
hi bryan! actually i don’t know what to say.
anyway, i love to watch you hosting channel 8 programs and all.
because you are always so funny and cheerful!
jiayou!!!
on November 12th, 2007 at 10:39 am
Hi Rainee,
我非常能明白你说的:平时告诉我可以随时为我打开方便们的他们竟然现实起来，让我感觉人间怎么忽然变成冷漠起来。朋友的定义就是这样吗？ 朋友的价值就只有利用，而当你没有利用价值的时候就抛一边吗？
我现在也出于这种状态，快要崩溃。其实我是泥菩萨过江，自身难保。可是我想让你知道，这种心情情况并非只有你在经历，至少我也是，而且我的还更言重。我也对人(不只是朋友)没信心，不知道该相信谁!!(我的那些所谓的好朋友不止是三年，所以我的心如刀的痛)
希望在我走出忧郁后，能帮到你，更希望你能比我更早(因为你的应该还不太严重，所以希望你快快好起来)。
on November 12th, 2007 at 11:00 am
Hi Depressed
It’s me. HOPE!. I belived that you’ve tried very hard, I belived that you’ve tried your very best, I belived that you’ve tried very hard and your very best to help yourself. From what I’ve read about your post, I noticed that deep within your innermost shows that you longs for rising up and to have joy again. I personally experienced that without any support/ helps it’ll be impossible to fullfill because when the soul (emotion) is ‘thirsty’ what it needs is gentleness, respect and understanding especially from those who have victor over it. Ones should not forget the process (pain before/during) towards victory and should help others with the same situation to claim victory.
I knew that there were times when ones DREPRESSED, he/she cannot do anything on themselves to feed the soul (eg. reading). But to those who are BLESSED with helps, a word of encouragement or wisdom can help them with present situation or even to face bad situation in future with JOY in their hearts. JOY is unlike happy, JOY is everlasting but happy is temporary. JOY is filled with, happy can be replaced by unhappy.
Depressed, I would like to give you a word of encouragement – Redirected your life goals and aspirations. Start with a positive thought each day, you may write down even if it’s only a word or drawing. Keep it as a Journal, you might one day publish it to help others!
Always have faith in you,
HOPE
on November 12th, 2007 at 11:30 am
Hi Bryan and everyone feeling trapped, including depressed,
jus want to offer my two cents worth…
here’s a quote:
whatever reality you are currently experiencing in your life is merely a reflection of your thoughts that you think and the energy you convey to your environment.
basically, it means if we focus on depressing thoughts, we will stay depressed and become even more depressed, because the universe thinks we want more of it, and thus attracts more of it for us. likewise, if we send out low energy, we will get back low energy. universe is like a mail order catalogue…whatever u order, you will get…
and vice versa…
so whenever u start to think about your problems again, shift your focus to positive thoughts, happy moments. For eg, make up your own hilarious song and sing it over and over again until you laugh to yourself. Thinking positive may seem difficult in the beginning, but as time goes by, it becomes second nature, like eating. It helps to be amidst positive thinking friends too.
i understand dat sometimes its easier to stay unhappy becos trying to get out seems too difficult (it has happened to me). So its vital to set a deadline to our unhappiness or depression…one day, one month, one year, 5 years…watever it is, after that, snap out of it, cos u owe it to yourself to enjoy a wonderful and happy life!
do read rhonda bryne’s the secret (to understand more about the law of attraction) and robin sharma’s the monk who sold his ferrari series (to improve ourselves, our communication and relationships). These books have helped me a great deal to overcome odds.
btw, these are not jus theories…they do work…if you work on them. All the best!
on November 12th, 2007 at 12:02 pm
你有没有感觉到生命没有目标过？
现在我可能被困住了。
没有目标，没有方向。
你知道怎么突破这个障碍吗？
最近为了补贴家用和生活费，去作了一份OFFICE的ADMIN ASSISTANT
那份工太四方格了，那里的人又很严肃，很可怕。
那里的工作就是那种很闷有很没意义的工作。
就是那种PAPERWORK。
觉得生活失去了重心。
on November 12th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
dear bryan…
have been silently admiring you since your city beat days… as a person, as a host and as an actor. indeed, you have proven time and time again how talented you can be.
don’t all of us feel trapped one way or another in life. things bugging us, pulling us down, causing us to fall behind. we may feel sad, we may feel lost. but there’s always someone there. be it a family, a friend or even a higher being.
i don’t like to “share” my problems, cause it makes me feel weak/vulnerable. to my friends, i’m always smiles, always the postiive character. even when i’m sad, i choose to hide it deep within. one of the things i do, is to blog it all out. feels much better afterwards.
perhaps the “trapped” ones out here could try doing something like that as well? maybe a few months/years, when you look back, your worries now may seem so “trival”.
take care bryan. and everyone as well.
smile.
for it takes less. smile. 
for you won’t know whose life you might just brighten up. smile :O for the world keeps on spinning. smile 
just cos you’re special.
on November 12th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
Rainee，
现在我对于`朋友`有一套准则，跟你分享一下。
对于那几位我视为`Best Friend`的朋友，我的评定标准是：万一他们发生什么事（touch wood），不管他的情况是否致命，我都会心甘情愿把我身上任何一部分的器官捐赠给他。
对于`Good Friend`:如果不会太严重伤害我自身，我会把器官捐赠给他（即使他的情况不致命）
对于`Friend`：除非他的情况致命，否则不会把器官捐给他。
对于`Acquaintance`：不会把器官捐给他。
你对你那些朋友，愿意付出到什么程度呢？
如果属于`Best friend`、`Good Friend`的范围，那我想你应该主动一点，让他们知道你对他们有多重视，然后理出一个大家都舒服的相处方式；
如果只是普通朋友，那又何苦继续纠缠呢？
朋友来来去去。合得来就多聊几句，聊完了就各奔前程，这本来就是人生定律。太执著的话，不仅给自己太大压力，也让你的朋友受不了。从你字里行间，我估计你不是本地人，因此倍感寂寞，渴望身边有人。
但我常想，知交不需要多，有一个已经值得羡慕。与其花那么多精神讨好一群人，不如多多观察，把最特别的那位找出来？
但前提是，你必须走出自己的心防。你不走出去、又不让人进来，这种举动有一个学名，叫做`自闭症`。当然我是开玩笑，因为你能长篇大论写下你的感受，可见你有主动跟人沟通的渴望，因此你不是患病，只是对自己不够宽厚。
开始培养兴趣吧。喜欢动物又环境许可的话，考虑养只吧。不管做什么选择，都会提供你跟人接触、或开放自己的机会。不要整天眉头深锁、或对人要求过多，那别人才不会把你当成瘟神。
其实，君子之交淡如水。抱着太重的精神负担跟人交朋友，真的会让对方喘不过气。放轻松，朋友自然就会找上门了。
祝你生活愉快，从小细节也能发现生活乐趣。
一个36岁的姐姐上。
on November 12th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
hi bryan,
I guess that is happening to me now.helpless but anyway thanks for your advice.
on November 12th, 2007 at 4:04 pm
Hi Bryan,
I really like your design. I hope you can design for my 1st home.
Please, can you give me your Company Name, Address and the website?
Thank you.
on November 12th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
Hello there,
i guess u are being urself, unlike many others, sometimes they dun speak inner of their self and put an act becouse of fame. i like the way u are! 
all the best in life, though things are aint the way we expect. but live the dream! 
and excel from there. nothing is impossible. even the word impossible proves everything. i-m-possible. 
just passing by your blog
with love.
on November 12th, 2007 at 5:44 pm
Dearest Bryan,
It is so nice to know that you have a blog. I need your help. I bought a new place recently, and I am very excited. I have bought furnitures and many stuff for my new home these past 2 months. So many things, except the bedroom. Could you use your creative expertise to help me?
Of course, I know that you are a very busy person. I just feel that you can see what Im looking for in a bedroom. Ive been around flipping and browsing, but I cant seem to find a suitable theme for my bedroom. Could you help me out? Im willing to pay you for your time. ( I can afford to pay very well.)
So, do let me know please? Is there other way I can reach you?
Thanks very much,
Anthony
on November 12th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
Haha… think you have missed my msg to u
on November 12th, 2007 at 9:11 pm
hello bryan !
thanks for letting us have this lil space to voice out (:
现在有个男朋友，他比我大6岁，但是我是个第三者。我们在一起也已经接近八个月了，在我认识他的时候，
我也知道他有个女朋友，在一起五年了。刚开始，他天天打电话给我，让我渐渐地爱上他。。然后，有一晚，我们就不知不觉的在一起了。他说，等他。因为他已经不爱她了，要我等他考完试，他就会和她提出分手。我也答应了。
到现在，已经过了这么久，他没有做出任何的行动，我也不敢问他，我好害怕他会生我的气，不要我了。我不想失去他，所以样样事情都想要迁就他。
我们从来没有一起出去约会，看个电影什么的，根本不像一对情侣。我想见他就只好去他的家那一带找他，就算如此也只是1或2个钟头。真的好难过。
每天也都在等待他的电话，那通电话就好像是我的希望。
我知道我很笨，很傻，
朋友们都不支持我在继续等待他，
但我还是想坚持着守着这段感情，
希望有一天，
我能够成为他那真正的女朋友。
我到底应该继续等待着他吗？
我到底应该怎么做才对。。
好烦，好难过。
anyway.
bryan !
congrats on your winning on the 5th episode.
i really like that timeless man.
its very pretty (:
JIAYOU !
on November 12th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
to SC,
i did not miss your msg la.. just got back home and retrieve all comments…before i wish you luck, what’s your related field of work, having asked that, i wish you all the luck!!!
on November 12th, 2007 at 9:32 pm
Dearest thatgal,
ask yourself this question..are you contented to be the next best thing? Do you feel good being the third party? Sigh…i know what’s it like to love someone ever so dearly but frankly, i feel that this guy is really not doing justice to you two gals… i can’t tell you if you should leave him because there is always the word “If”…Morally, you should..however, when love is concerned, one tends to be blinded. Do what that makes you happy…
on November 12th, 2007 at 9:41 pm
Bryan,
你有没有感觉到生命没有目标过？
现在我可能被困住了。
没有目标，没有方向。
你知道怎么突破一些障碍吗？
jus askin. =(
on November 12th, 2007 at 9:47 pm
Dearest SzuChian,
to break free from this cycle, i guess you just have to have a goal! however, you do have to break free from this mental state of yours…. For me, when i feel aimless..i always set an almost impossible goal for myself to achieve..this way, even if i moan about not being able to achieve my goals, at least i am moaning about something instead of having nothing to moan about ya????
on November 12th, 2007 at 9:57 pm
HI Bu LAi En,
Surprise u started tis entry title… maybe should call you “Uncle Agony” next time..hehe.. Life is a like a cycle… U gain from what you reaped, & oso you reap from what you have gained.. Your advices to all is a gift from you…
May you & I be freed from everything involving sadness & be happy always… :p
love & god bless…
on November 12th, 2007 at 10:13 pm
Hi SzuChian,
其实我也经历过和你相同的状况，我想很多人也一定经历过这个过程！但是以我的经历来看我觉得不管是谁都要有一个目标才好，不然生活绝对不会快乐！ 以前我也和你一样有这样的经历，我什么目标都没有只是脑子里想着走一步算一步。 但是问题就来了，因为没有目标整个生活变得很无聊无趣，工作也不能专心而且工作的时候都不快乐就只因为为了那份薪水而去做罢了！我想现在很多人也一样吧？ 为了那一份薪水而没有选择自己喜欢的事情？ 但是我很开心至少我现在已经找到我的目标是什么？ 虽然还没有能力去实行但是我一定努力的！ 不过目标不是说想要就会有的，你一定要清楚也要确定自己对自己的目标有兴趣或者喜爱才能够达成的！其实我和你的年纪应该相差不了多少，但是慢慢摸索不要急绝对可以找到的！所以要加油哦。。。
on November 12th, 2007 at 11:09 pm
hi bryan………….
i was looking at ur blog and i saw this post, and it let me feel tat i wan to voice out my trouble. i was trouble about my job n my life…………….
lets start with job, i m working as a counter staff at this clinic everything are fine when i 1st join. but now i m damn tired no matter is frm heart or body. now my office is lack of ppl, and now i m like 1 person doing 3 person jobs and more and more jobs are coming in and add in tat makes me can’t breath but wat i m happy is my boss is trying her best to try to find temp/perm staff. but i think the real fact is i m tired frm this job liao actually a few mths ago i already feel like finding new job n leave this place cos honest say this is nt the idea job tat i wan, i wan some job tat i dun need to sit in a place where there are 4 walls around me the whole day i wan to go out n breath the fresh air . but who kns 1 quit, 1 gt baby and since the day she knew she gt baby she is on mc n leave till nw i can’t blame her this is nt wat she wants also. and till nw no new staff comes in i dun kn when i can go out n find job n quit cos it seems very bad that i quit at this moment where they already lack of ppl. but i also dun kn i can tahan till when ………… it already up to my limit liao lor.
as for my life is like no aim dun kn wat i wan in life everyday just work, home, computer, slp , tv ………………………….. but now i gt one new aim is to learn inline skating but no one wan to learn with me or teach me …………………… but i will go figure some ways out or learn myself hahahahaha
ok tat is enough liao, voice out feel better liao
tks so much. oh by the way i like the hse u desgin 2day on TV
keep it up the good work………….
on November 12th, 2007 at 11:33 pm
朋友真的要分那么多种吗？还是世界一直都在变，而人的心也随着世界不停地在变？感觉我好像夹在变与不变之间徘徊，不知道去向。
也许你们说得对，是我过于要求了，君子之交淡如水，以这样的心情去交朋友不就行吗？朋友的定义就是不要去衡量，但求问心无愧便好。 其实我很渴望校园的过去，因为大家都很纯真，虽然偶尔吵吵架，后来还是和好如初。现在的世界不行了，因为我们都忘记了最初那颗赤子之心，也没有人再记得当时心目中的红蜻蜓。
今天感到开心，因为在字里行间找到了一份温情的慰问； 谢谢你们！
从前我常常听到的，跟大家分享：
“雨过了，必定会有彩虹”
“笑一笑，没有什么事情过不了”
我相信，有一天我会走出阴霾。
on November 12th, 2007 at 11:39 pm
Hello!
First time leaving a comment here. I must say I watch your “Bai Jia Le” programme right from the very first season and I LOVVVVVE it! You have got my parents hooked onto this program as well. =) Good bonding session for us by discussing Mark and your home designs. Haha.
Anyway, I am feeling trapped recently too. Seems like I run into a spate of bad luck recently, and it is hard when I have no one to talk to, well, I used to have this close friend to talk to, until recently the series of events just distanced us, and now I have trouble trusting him again.
I wish it was a case of miscommunication between us, but it is hard to dismiss it as “miscommunication” when it was obviously a case of this friend covering his own backside in a recent incident. He was not like that in the past, and I was very hurt by his actions. Not to mention him skiving during projects. =(( He seem to become a very different person overnight. Sighs.
Friendship aside, I am having problems at home too. My elder brother hurt my beloved mummy so much that she cried one day. My mommy is a strong woman and I have not seen her cry before. Yet my brother is still insistent on his ways and he is not aware how deeply he hurt my mommy, and I have no idea how to pull him out of his stupid dreams. Sighs again.
Not to mention exams coming up very very soon, but I got that covered, no worries!
And that day we returned home to a big hole in the wall, thanks to our new neighbour who is moving in soon and thus doing renovations. Lee Teng should be glad to know that someone is worse at drilling a hole than he is, since the worker next door drilled right into our living room when we do not want that. Sighs. It is very infuriating as their renovations are causing a lot of inconveniences already and now this. Imagine coming home, expecting a good rest and what greets you is a sight of gluey stuff on the floor, which came from the wall. Sighs.
Last but not least, not at a very good time, but I find myself missing a guy who was in my life in the past but not now. Missing him very much. Sighs. I wish I can turn back time and undo all those things which should not be done.
Just feel very tired. And alone.
on November 12th, 2007 at 11:56 pm
i am seeking for part-time course for home interior design, anybody can have recommendations to where will be a good place to start off with someone like me who have no designing background but have a stong passion of learning to be… hope my dreams can come true…
on November 13th, 2007 at 12:04 am
For those with family problems:
If you want to break away from the tormented and problematic cycle, you have to do well in whatever you are engaged in now – be it your studies or your job. Only when you can attain the best results on your part; then you can be freed from the money-problems at home etc. and to create a better living environment for yourself and your loved ones.
Always remember to keep looking up. If things are not right, make changes – changes for the better. “Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.”
For those with BGR problems:
If you are in your teens, you still have a long way to go. Every human relationship is an experience and part of growing up. What is more important is to remember the good memories you shared with that special someone. Two-timers, pls throw away.
When in doubt, always ask yourself this question: Is he/she someone whom you would want to spend your next 50 years with? If you see dark clouds, pls hide.
For those with problems at work:
It’s just a job. Be street smart. Be resourceful. If you want to succeed, know something that nobody else knows. Take no notice of back-stabbers – I believe in retribution.
For those with friendship problems:
Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.
For those who are depressed:
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the blog. It means you are willing to open up. Do some deep breathing exercises every morning. Charity work can help too. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You have to enjoy the beautiful things around you. Seek appropriate treatment if necessary.
In General:
There is no “IF” in life….IF I had studied hard I wld not have failed…IF I were nicer to my girlfriend she would not have left….IF I hadnt been foolish, I would not be bankrupt…IF IF IF…there is no “IF” in life.
Sincerely,
Ryan’s mom
on November 13th, 2007 at 12:20 am
Hi Bryan, I think it’s my little mistake, a bit blur blur today. Haha.
Sorry sorry. My apologies. Anyway, to ur question, I’m proud of my job as I’m a financial planner whom will come in helpful when you really in need of help one day. But many may not find that initially. That’s the reason why I said I need to build a lot of trust in pple in some situations. I’m working real hard on it and I believe more pple will believe in me 1 day. Thanks for ur little wish. 
on November 13th, 2007 at 9:45 am
I am trying to give away my dog, have yet found the better place for him. You want to adopt him? Cross breed of JRT & POM.
on November 13th, 2007 at 2:15 pm
Hi HOPE!!! It’s really very nice to hear from you again!!! THANKS A LOT FOR UNDERSTANDING ME AND TRUST IN ME!!!! I AM REALLY VERY VERY GRATEFUL TO YOU!!!
Franking speaking, if NOT for this post from you, I would have given hope in posting my feeling!!! Simply because is better to keep quiet than to read post that don’t understand me, because it really HURTS!!! (Especially if is from someone who been through it!!!)
Quote from you that “I personally experienced that without any support/ helps it’ll be impossible to fullfill because when the soul (emotion) is ‘thirsty’ what it needs is gentleness, respect and understanding especially from those who have victor over it. Ones should not forget the process (pain before/during) towards victory and should help others with the same situation to claim victory.” This REALLY REFLECTS WHAT I NEED.Though is true we (or rather I) CAN’T rely on others to get out BUT HOW TRUE IS THAT??? WHO WOULD WANT TO DEPEND/RELY ON OTHERS IF SELF DEPENDENCE IS ENOUGH, RIGHT? Ironically is when I keep everything to myself and ppl will tell/encourage me to open up and go to them for help ANYTIME!!But now….??? I also feel pai say having to trouble ppl but all those “encouragement words to ask me to go to them AS LONG AS I NEED HELP make me believe totally”…Stupid me right?? But I am NOT BLAMING ANYONE because they have NO obligation to help me in the first place just that I FEEL HURT WHEN …..anyway, don’t wan to talk about that again…..
Quote from you again “I knew that there were times when ones DREPRESSED, he/she cannot do anything on themselves to feed the soul (eg. reading). But to those who are BLESSED with helps, a word of encouragement or wisdom can help them with present situation or even to face bad situation in future with JOY in their hearts. JOY is unlike happy, JOY is everlasting but happy is temporary. JOY is filled with, happy can be replaced by unhappy. ” HOPE, again, this is what I need “JUST LISTEN EARS WHO LISTEN ATTENTIVELY and NOT REPROACHING OR EVEN NOT ABLE TO EMPATHY”…Just listen attentively and encouragement HELP!!! because “normal ” person (even …hmm…) WON’T BE ABLE to understand WHY AND HOW COME I think and feel this way…and WHY can’t I do this ….(YES! Is simple issue BUT TO ME IS JUST DIFFICULT !!!! I TRY VERY VERY HARD BUT LIKE I SAID, IT “SUNK” DEEPER EACH TIME ESPECIALLY WITHOUT “SUPPORT”!!!)
Quote again”Depressed, I would like to give you a word of encouragement – Redirected your life goals and aspirations. Start with a positive thought each day, you may write down even if it’s only a word or drawing. Keep it as a Journal, you might one day publish it to help others!” YES! HOPE, I will do that!!! because all along I HAVING THIS THOUGHT TO HELP ANYONE WHO NEED MY HELP THOUGH I NEED HELP MYSELF!!! I strongly feel that YOU ARE DOING THAT RIGHT NOW, PRACTISING WHAT YOU SAID TO ME!!!! And HOPE YOU ARE DOING VERY VERY WELL!!!!! BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T FORGET THE EXACT FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS THAT YOU WENT THROUGH, that’s why you are ABLE TO UNDERSTAND AND TRUST ME!!! Most I would say, who had been through will SLOWLY FORGET THE EXACT FEELINGS,ETC!!! Is NOT that they forget BUT THEY WILL LACK OF PATIENCE OR “CHANGE THEIR THINKING”(Because they think that since they have overcome, WHY CAN’T I/Depressed person JUST DO IT!!!) BUT THEY FORGET the P R O C E S S !!!!! If is really that easy, why is it that the no. of depression keeps increasing OR went IN AND OUT of depression AGAIN AND AGAIN??!!! Like what HOPE said, PLEASE ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO BEEN THROUGH IT, BE MORE UNDERSTANDING, OK??? THANKS!!!!
I THINK BESIDES HOPE, YI FENG IS THE OTHER ONE WHO BEST UNDERSTAND!!!!
I AM NOT USING DEPRESSION AS ANY FORM OF EXCUSE OR WHATEVER BECAUSE LIKE YIFENG SAID, DEPRESSION IS NOT SOMETHING WE WANT AND INOT “ACTABLE”…Anyway, who would want to ACT to be in depression to use that as excuse!
I ever read/heard that WE CAN SAVE A LIFE JUST BY BEING LISTENING OR ACCOMPANY A FRIEND WHO SIGNAL FOR HELP (EVEN JUST BY CALLING TO CHAT OR VENT OUT FRUSTRATION,ETC,…OR ASKING YOU OUT!!!), WHO KNOWS IF THAT IS ACTUALLY A “LAST CALL”!!!! MISS IT OR IGNORE OR EVEN REPROACHING ACTUALLY SEND THAT FRIEND/RELATIVE OF YOURS TO …..!!!!! AGREE? BTW, HOPE, I DON’;T HAVE SUICIDE THOUGHT, DON’T WORRY! BUT I BELIEVE MANY PPL OUT THERE WHO REALLY KEEP QUIET MAYBE IN THIS “BORDERLINE” OF DEATH AND LIFE!!! RIGHT? A “normal” person will think is foolish or REPROACH THE ONE WHO COMMIT SUICIDE ,etc, BUT , PLEASE THINK , WHO WOULD WANT TO IF THERE IS HELP/LOVE/SUPPORT GIVEN!!!! (I used to think that way too BUT NOW i WOULDN’T BECAUSE IS NOT THAT HE/SHE DON’T WANT TO LIVE JUST THAT AT THAT MOMENT, ALL THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS DOMINATES EVERYTHING!!!! AGREE? If that person has been reproached, not receiving “attentive listening” from anyone, etc….at that moment, YES, HE/SHE WILL NOT RELY ON OTHERS BUT OWN=>which is COMMIT SUICIDE!!! BUT I DO AGREE THAT WE CAN’T DEPEND ON OTHERS, but IF SELF HELP REALLY CAN’T AND THAT PERSON IS WILLING TO SEEK HELP FROM OTHERS(JUST A PAIR OF ATTENTIVE LISTENING EARS AND ENCOURAGEMENT), PLEASE DO OFFER THEM (IS ACTUALLY WHAT EVERYONE CAN OFFER TO OTHERS AND IS FOC!!!!)
HOPE, REALLY THANKS AGAIN AND ALSO TO BRYAN WHO OPEN THIS!!! I just type and type WITHOUT REALISING HOW MUCH I TYPE!! HOPE IT DON’T CAUSE ANY TROUBLE OR UNHAPPINESS TO ANYONE !!( I APOLOGISE IF I DID!!)
HOPE, I AM SURE YOU ARE ABLE TO HELP MANY MANY!!!! (And also bryan who open this !!! BRYAN, HOPE YOU WILL CONTINUE TO BE PATIENCE AND SUPPORT YIFENG WHEN SHE IS “DOWN” AGAIN, BUT HOPEFULLY SHE DON’T HAVE TO!!!! PLEASE SEND MY REGARDS AND SUPPORT TO HER!!!THANKS!!!!)
on November 13th, 2007 at 2:28 pm
HOPE, actually I keep telling myself is NOT a bad thing that I am in depression because IT MAY BE BLESSING IN DISGUISE!!!! BECAUSE NOW I REALLY WON’T POINT MY FINGER AT PPL OR MAKE “REMARKS WITHOUT THINKING IN THEIR SHOES” INSTANTLY (WHICH MOST OF US ARE DOING)…Just that I JUST UNABLE TO GET OUT!!! COULD YOU ADVISE ME AS: I TRY VERY VERY HARD NOT to be sensitive or negative BUT THE TRUTH ALWAYS PROVE ME WRONG AND THE 2 OPPOSING “FORCES” STARTS(AND THE NEGATIVE WILL DOMINATE!!!!) AND I WILL GO INTO DEPRESSION AGAIN!!! IS REALLY A TORTURE STRUGGLE WITHIN!!! Do you ever have such struggle inside? how do you overcome? simply by trying to have positive thoughts DON’T WORK AT THAT MOMENT AT ALL!! And if I were to say/write out, ppl will just say I too sensitive or is my fault ,etc….THESE TYPE OF WORDS HURTS because REALLY IS NOT MY SENSITIVITY OR THINKING TOO MUCH….
As you know from my previous posts, i have been putting every blame on myself even if is NOT my fault (THOUGH SOMETIMES I AM )!! Now I TRY NOT to but really tough!!
THANKS HOPE!!!
Bryan, I realise that my post before this is REALLY VERY LONG, you may delete if you think is INappropriate because I just type and type….THANKS!!!
on November 13th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Hi Bryan,
Thanks for setting this kinda outlet for us to release our troubles. Actually I duno if my question will be ever answered.
Question:
For a guy of 28yrs old, am I very useless?
My job is very unstable. My pay is very low for a Dip holder. I always seem not able to provide enough happiness for my wife. She always had to think twice before buying things due to our tight “pocket”. SIGH~
on November 13th, 2007 at 2:59 pm
hey bryan wong,
i think you’re a really cool whacko dude, you must’ve heard this countless times before, but i just had to let you know myself. a very talented artiste you are.
i was really very suprised when i saw this thread you posted up for all the many people (most of them teenagers going through some very tough times) that visit your blog. i’d just like to tell you how wonderful your gesture is, and personally replying to the posts made by your fans.
thank you for making watching television such an enjoyable past time. you are truly entertaining, and apparently very kind as well.
on November 13th, 2007 at 10:50 pm
Hi Bryan, please delete the previous post because certain words are missing. Thanks!!!
Hi Rainee,
我觉得你我一样，对朋友的定义。我以前非常坚定于一开始就应该付出真心，要不然对方怎么可能会对我付出真心! 但是现在我快要对于朋友对抱有聊聊就好，不要交心了!!! 但是我还是做不到，因为那不是我的本性可是我又拿捏不到，其实难以拿捏。付出的真心往往是在若干年后才会看到自己的”笨”!!! 及伤害!!! 除非对方很早就让你知道。因为人心真的隔肚皮，可是我又不愿去”接受”，一直认为总会有和我一样的。 其实我好朋友是和我一样，但是随着环境，”现实”的社会等，她们都”洗脑”了!!!! 因为我的”拒绝像她们这样的改变，我好痛苦及乱!! 所以我非常了解你的心情和疑惑等!! 我一直赞成”君子之交淡如水”，因为那是绝对不可能交到知己的!!! 但是，现在的我也不知该如何对待人!! 只知道虽然凡事无愧于心，但是那是多么的可悲及无奈的!! 谈何容易!(至少对我)
我知道那些以君子淡如水的，绝对不会被伤害的。没错，可能是我们付出真心的同时，有意无意的”要求，期望”得到同样的对待，当我们无法得到的，甚至是得到伤害时，真的是。。。!!! 我和你一样非常怀念校园时的友谊，但是现在我开始不要去想了(因为我的好朋友是从读书就认识的，可是若干年的今天又怎样呢!!)。RAINEE，我 不希望你是我的”翻版”，就自己因为一直有那颗赤子之心，以及”己所不欲，勿施于人”的观念，把自己”害惨”了。。。但是我也问，难倒这样也有错吗?? 我自己还在理自己的情绪，忧郁。。。可是我也真的希望你可以比我看得更清楚，能想的通.谢谢你的分享! 但是我坚信的是至少我是心安的，虽然被伤害是多么的痛和难受!!!
：
“雨过了，必定会有彩虹”
“笑一笑，没有什么事情过不了”
我相信，有一天我会走出阴霾。我们一起努力!!!!
on November 13th, 2007 at 10:52 pm
Hi Ryan’s mum, thanks for your understanding and encouragement to those who are depressed!!!
on November 14th, 2007 at 12:21 am
Dear depressed,
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are”. I believe you have this courage and I hope you will change your name to something happier soon.
I had been through this stage too; though not exactly similar to yours.
For me, spiritual help was my turn back call cos I could not find any trustworthy souls to confide in. Me – a Buddhist.
Pl take care. X’mas is coming so hope you will cheer up and enjoy whatever that is left in 2007.
Ryan’s mom
on November 14th, 2007 at 1:38 am
hi depressed,
I’m sorry if i appear harsh in my previous post and may have caused you some disturbance.
Actually i do understand that a person in depression needs lots of validation on how and what they are going through. If i’m talking to you now and you are feeling depressed, then i will sayang you and tell you how i have been there too. I know how it can make the person feel better AT THAT MOMENT. However, i also understand that it can only provide TEMPORARY RELIEF. You may feel better at that instance, but the CAUSE is not identify or solved, so the depression will come over and over again.
Hence my main concern is not about making you feel better at that moment only, but I would hope to see that you live happily for the years to come. You know something, the words that makes me learn to live life happily are not empathy or kind words, but are the ‘harsh’ words which i resisted initially too.
I understand that other than empathy words, most other words would not sound nice when one is feeling depressed at that moment. Hence, in this column, i’m taking the chance that you may read it anytime and hopefully you may read it when you are not feeling depressed. In my previous post, i have tried to be as explicit and factual as possible and i felt it is an important message because that’s the first step i took in my recovery path. I trust, and i still do trust, that you will not imply otherwise.
Just to share one more thing, i took about 2 years to completely leave depression behind me. During these 2 years, it may be frustrating because it has already been a HABIT to think negatively. Hence, thinking positively needs a lot of effort, not only because it’s new, but because we have to overcome our habitual behaviour.
on November 14th, 2007 at 1:51 am
By the way just a disclaimer here, when i use capital letters, its not to show emotion but its meant to highlight the key words.
on November 14th, 2007 at 11:35 am
Hi Ryan’s mum,
THANKS A LOT FOR YOUR ADVISE AND ENCOURAGEMENT!!
Hi Pigcahontas,
YES, I really know you MEANT WELL (BTW, don’t worry, I use CAPITAL LETTER and ! ALSO TO HIGHLIGHT and NOT other meaning)!!! Do you know that actually I HAVE BEEN RECEIVING NOT JUST VERY HARSH BUT ALSO REPROACHING (KEEP ACCUSING ME THAT EVERY WORD THAT I SAID, which I am actually telling my feeling and opinion, EIS MY FAULT AND WHY I AM LIKE THAT(even though that person know i MAYBE depression!!!) and I AM “FORCED OR PRESSURIZED” to do things that maybe simple for me last time BUT NOW THESE TYPE OF PRESSURE AND “FORCING” ONLY MAKE ME FEEL VERY VERY PHOBIA AND DEPRESSED!!! That’s WHY I SUNK DEEPER AND DEEPER….Initially I take it POSTIVELY but for MORE THAN 6 MONTHS, I HAVE BEEN LISTENING TO THESE TYPE OF ACCUSING (I WAS ALRAEDY VERY SELF GUILTY OF THINGS THAT ARE NOT MY FAULT, SORT OF BECOME MY HABIT OF “TAKING EVERYTHING BLAME”, so at certain point, I REALLY CANNOT TAHAN BUT AFTER THAT , STILL NEED TO TAHAN!! NOW I tried NOT to take things that are NOT my fault to myself but UNSUCCESSFUL YET) I REALLY CAN’T TAKE HARSH WORDS though I agree what you said NICE WORDS ARE TEMPORARY RELIEF AND DEPRESSION COMES IN AND OUT! That’s why I say, I TRY TO BE POSTIVE BUT NOW I REALLY UNABLE TO !!! Frankly speaking, ENCOURAGEMENT AND UNHARSH WORDS DO HELP ME TO SLOWLY “GET UP” because of my character. actually PHOBIA OF PEOPLE AND TALKING to people DEVELOPED!
I know some may need HARSH WORDS TO “WAKE OR PUSH THEM” BUT REALLY THIS WILL DO MORE HARM TO ME (LIKE I SAID, HAS BEEN HAPPENING)….hmm…sorry I REALLY KNOW YOU MEANT WELL BUT AT THAT TIME READING, I TOLD MYSELF TO BE POSTIVE BUT STILL FEEL VERY DEPRESSED BECAUSE WAS LIKE “OH NO, HOW COME IT HAPPEN AGAIN!!” I REALLY DIDN’T “BLAME” YOU (my “HABIT” AGAIN!).
Actually you don’t know my character, so when you use this “harsh” method, like you said, you are taking chance….hmm….
THANKS!!!
I EVER TOLD BEST FRIENDS THAT WHAT I NEED IS ENCOURAGEMENT AND SUPPORT TO HELP ME SLOWLY BE “NORMAL” ….BUT….”old story” again….
on November 14th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Hi 馬玨俐,
For me, I won’t categorised friends when comes to donate organ. Maybe you would like to use other more appropriate example to illustrate the different type of friends? UNLESS that is really what you think and will do.
Quote from you:”朋友来来去去。合得来就多聊几句，聊完了就各奔前程，这本来就是人生定律。太执著的话，不仅给自己太大压力，也让你的朋友受不了.但我常想，知交不需要多，有一个已经值得羡慕。与其花那么多精神讨好一群人，不如多多观察，把最特别的那位找出来？” I strongly agree but to observe is not easy because usually we give our “heart” because WE THINK, BELIEVE, FEEL that that person is worthtrusty and can be best friend, right?
“但前提是，你必须走出自己的心防。”This type of phrase really make me very very CONFUSED , maybe because i am stupid!!, this because I don’t “guard” people that’s why i believe what ppl said until …the days when i am hurt again and again and again…simply because i TRUST ppl. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO GUARD because by doing that, isn’t we “suspect” (because through “guarding”, we will start to think if the words that person said is true, whether to believe, what he/she did is it true,etc….)HOPE, Pigcahontas, could you help to advise on this issue (which I really have been searching for answer HOW TO TREAT PPL…Think at least Rainee will BENEFIT FROM YOUR ANSWER TOO!!).THANKS A LOT!!!
also when we develop this habit of GUARD(防) PPL, isn’t we develop “negative thoughts” unknowingly (because we are actually “suspecting”/think the negative way??? right?? FINALLY I AM ABLE TO TYPE WHAT I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO EXPRESS!!!)(really by observing,etc, difficult to know that person, even friends or relatives whom we know for long also difficult to know the TRUE, right?)
How to “guard” people and yet not develop negative thoughts?
THANKS!
on November 14th, 2007 at 8:18 pm
Hi Bryan! ty 4 listenin 2 our heart probs! ive gt a big prob here…
my class d frens all didnt fren me! dere’s 16 girls, xcludin me, n only less den 10 ppl fren me! wat shld i do?
1 of my fren, claudia, who oso hate me, say: othough i hate u ah, i stil gif u 1 advis: u muz change ur attidue, u r bein spoilt 2 much already. dats al she say.
hw m i suppose 2 find out my prob? dey only gif me a little clue wat m i lyk 2 dem. actually, dey haf already nvr talk 2 me 4 abt 2-3 weeks already. wat shld i do 2 gain bck my 10 frenships? n, without frenship, life is MEANINLESS 2 me… i feel lyk dying… i m only 11, so i cant do tt, even if can, i haf no courage at all….. plz help me!
on November 14th, 2007 at 10:05 pm
Dear chilli padi,
Hey..you are but only eleven! what are you thinking about when you want to end your life just because of these ten friendships?????????
I know how it is like when others shut you out off their lives..me been through that before too..when i was still new in my line of work and everybody hated me! so much so that i have got hate mails teeling me to get off the screen and newspapers are constantly on my back with nothing nice to say…Those were some bleak moments in my life ..Imagine this, only this ten don’t want to friend you but me? i have got thousands of strangers hating me…But did i choose to be trapped by this and wanna die too? the answer is NO! because there are people who meant more to me..such as my family and perhaps just a small group of friends…. You don’t need to be widely accepted by your peers just to demonstrate that you are popular and worth befriending..somehow, just one or two others who truly love you for who you are is good enough. By the time you turn eighteen, i am sure that you would have lots of friends so, be happy with who you have at the moment and cherish them, however few.. and… smile.it always help…and…have a good cry..after that….move on.
on November 14th, 2007 at 10:32 pm
Hi chilli padi!
Bryan is right, imagine yourself as him having to face all these!!! Last time, I used to think that is nothing because we as “audience” tend to forget those insulting or hurting words that are put to others and can easily forget and make even irresponsible comments or remarks!! But now because of what I am experience/going through, I am able to think back and though I am still very very “down”(as you have read my posts), I also feel that is “blessing in disguise” because I am even more able to empathy,etc…(but just that i can’t do it “the right way”)
What I am trying to say is I understand your feeling because WE WERE ELEVEN BEFORE TOO!!!! Just that maybe we experience differently….actually it doesn’t matter how old, FEELING SAD AND HURT BECAUSE OF FRIENDSHIP happen now and then!!! BUT BELIEVE US, FRIENDS OF YOUR AGE ARE STILL “EASIER TO FIND AND MANAGE” because of the “purity, innocent” element … I do understand that from your point, you REALLY REALLY FIND IT HURTING AND WONDER WHY FRIENDS DON’T WANT TO FREND YOU,RIGHT?
I think though Claudia said she hate you, but she still willing to give you 1 advise show that she still cares but maybe because of “certain reason” that make her “hate” (actually maybe really be hate) you…MAYBE YOU CAN TRY TO TALK TO HER IN PRIVATE ,NICELY , YOU ASK HER WHETHER CAN SHE ADVISE YOU MORE (BTW, you can think of that 1 advise that she had given and if true, then you try to change and maybe you can tell Claudia that YOU ARE WILLING TO CHANGE (FOR THE BETTER!! AND NOT JUST BECAUSE PPL WANT YOU TO CHANGE, YOU CHANGE BLINDLY ) AND WHETHER CAN SHE HELP YOU ALONG, such as remind you GENTLY/IN PRIVATE (but you must promise NOT to be angry WHEN SHE REMINDS OR TELL YOU) ….
Like Bryan said, (which I also feel all these while) JUST WITH 1 GOOD FRIEND WHO IS WILLING TO GIVE YOU GOOD ADVISE AND WILLING TO “SUPPORT” YOU, IS GOOD ENOUGH although the more the better…you still need to have more friends (but may not be best friends … but friends who can just chit chat….)…BELIEVE ME, THAT WE DID FEEL THE SAME AS YOU in one way or another WHEN WE WERE AT YOUR AGE!!! IS QUITE COMMON!! just that nowsdays, you all are MORE MATURE THAN US during that age!!
So, now, DON’T THINK OF ENDING YOUR LIFE because IS NOT something that cannot BE “SAVAGED”!!!…THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS IF WHAT CLAUDIA SAID IS TRUE, THEN YOU MUST TRY VERY HARD TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER ,ok? DON’T FORGET YOU STILL HAVE BRYAN AND AT LEAST ALSO ME to FRIEND YOU RIGHT? CHEERS FOR YOU!!!!
on November 14th, 2007 at 11:13 pm
Hi bryan, pls ignore the 1st one because one serious typo error.Thanks!!!
on November 15th, 2007 at 12:29 am
hi depressed,
keke…ok, now i know you better. no worries about me, i won’t take it personally, anyway if i no longer care, the only thing i will do is to stop posting. keke…i’m really happy when i see that you ask me abt the question on ‘guarding’ cos you still want to hear from me. I’m also glad to see that you are trying your best to get your perspectives
sort out, cos asking question is a good starting point to step out.
About the ‘guarding’ question that you ask, i see you have been wanting to treat people in your most sincere form, so you tend to trust people whole-heartedly. So what i can share is…
It’s ok to trust, but do not trust BLINDLY.
Consider this senario, if i show you a pencil and tell you that this is a duck, do you trust me that the pencil you see is a duck? No right? cos its obvious that its a pencil that you see. Hence this shows that if we know enough, then we will not trust blindly. However, the problem is, like what you said, it’s hard to tell if a person is true or not and in life, things and situations are normally more complicated than just seeing whether its a duck or a pencil. So for me, i practise giving the benefit of the doubt. I still trust when i don’t know enough, but i also know that i’m still in DOUBT. It’s not about suspecting or guarding, its the AWARENESS that i still DON’T KNOW ENOUGH. For example, i want to buy a handphone from Q, and Q told me the handphone has no problem. As i still don’t know if the handphone is good or not, i give Q the benefit of the doubt and buy the hp. But at the same time, I don’t trust blindly, so i am aware that the hp MAY have problem. So i told Q to draft an agreement on refund in case of problem. In the end, Q is happy that i buy the hp and i am also happy that my interest is safe-guarded.
In this case, it can be seen that this awareness help me to do action which PREVENT me from disappointment or more problems.
I would also highlight that i believe that in most situations, there are no truth. Do you think diamond is valuable since its so expensive? in actual fact, diamond is just carbon in nature and diamond used to have no value. It’s expensive today because there are clever businessmen who used propagandas to increase demand but keep most of the stocks, to reduce the supply. Hence, the price went up steeply. So what is the truth? For human, it is even more difficult to determine truth. Because we can only PERCEIVE. It’s all about perception. Do you think newspaper report the truth? But who write the newspaper? Ultimately, It’s still human who can only perceive. Hence, whatever that i’m reading, be it textbook or newspaper, i am AWARE that there are possibilities to be otherwise.
Lastly, in my first post on how you can determine your recovery, i felt that there are some misunderstanding. Actually i didn’t say that you cannot seek help, i meant that even if you have the best doctor to treat you, or the best of friend to give you encouraging words every day, it may not determine whether you recover or not. People can help you but the only person who can determine your recovery is you….and it’s important that you believe you can do it. And also, about not depending on others for your happiness, i meant that you can start to do whatever that makes you happy now. For example, if i feel like eating jap food today, i will not wait until my friends are free to go with me, i will go and eat on my own. The keypoint is, do BELIEVE in yourself, that you are able to be happy always. even if you are unsure, do BELIEVE that you are able to do it.
I would like a favour from you, cos i took great effort and hours in writing most of my posts. I hope that you will read what i write on your happy days and please ignore it if you are feeling depress because actually its hard for me to distinguish whether my words are harsh or not, cos i can be quite blur. Lastly, do not trust me blindly too….keke….
on November 15th, 2007 at 12:56 am
三十六岁的马大姐 or maybe Bryan too，
老实说，我觉得你们是幸运滴。
可能真的有很多职业是不看学历而是看实力。。。但在现今（金？）的社会不管你有十一或甚至是十二粒，只要你没有学历，可能你连那家公司的大门都进不去。
有时我在想，我们到底是忙还是盲？从起点走了一圈，还是回到了原点。 烦!
最惨的是，做了几年的工却看不到自己的成果。 成在哪里？果又在哪里呢？瞎！
所以我就说嘛，如果你能找到一份自己喜欢的工作就应该好好地珍惜。
机会是可遇不可求滴~
可惜，现在，在另一的荧光屏的我就没这么好运了。*叹气*
我已经xian到~没什么苦好诉了。。。
该做得我都做了。该跳出原来的旧框框，我也做了。
我是衰滴~
日复一日，年复一年。
开心或不开心都这样。
心情有点像那种，走一步算一步。。
人来人往。。都这样。。
朋友从无所不谈到没东西谈。。也这样。。
这样来，这样去。。还是这样。。
我的人生就是那么的平淡。。
不管后来怎么样。。到最后还是这样。。
是滴~ 我是真得很无奈。
对滴~ 我是真的认命了。虽然我还真的有点不甘愿。
你们是lucky 滴！
on November 15th, 2007 at 6:49 am
HEALING TAKE PLACE
Hear these ‘words’ from a sincere heart
Each time I think of ‘words’
The ‘words’ start
Healing take place, Hope
Healing take place
Hope healing take place
My heart longs
Something new today
Healing take place, Hope
Healing take place
How my ‘words’ meant to you
Longs to edify forever
In times of hopeless and fears
No ‘nice words’, no ‘harsh words’
Only ‘words’ from my heart
For these are my life message
on November 15th, 2007 at 8:19 am
Oh! I’m tired. ( 3 yrs )
Oh! I’m very tired. (16 yrs )
Oh! My heart hurts.(19 yrs )
Oh! Healing take place (forever)
Don’t forsake me. (forever)
You’ve touched me. (forever)
I’m not as before (Reaching Out)
There’s a new life flowing within me.(Reaching Out)
With this life,
I’m able to start afresh. (Reaching Out)
on November 15th, 2007 at 9:02 am
Hi YH
You’re are young adult, a bright future is ahead of you and most important you’re blessed with a good wife. Love her with all your heart, all your soul, all your might and all your strength, that is the solid foundation of marriage and I belived that this is more important than things bought with money.
on November 15th, 2007 at 10:46 am
Hi there,
I wouldn’t dare to say I know everything. Something to share to all…
We’re not expert in everything. Bryan, being a celebrity is not simple or easy. We have seen his glamorous image but we never know what he has been through in his life. I wrote to him I was one of his (hated) strangers, but now I have learnt to treasure him more dearly. Why!! Simply, because seeing how much he changed over these years. Seeing his transformed into a better him. See him grow!
In life we have to face ups and downs, happy and sad. We need to go thru’ all the hardships so that we know how to value life. There are lots of ways we can choose how we want our life to be. Some may want to carry on with their life in a happy way. Some may want their life to be sad.
I have been gone thru’ the stages both of you (Chili Padi n Bryan – maybe there are more people having what we’re facing) have been before. Whenever I was down with something, I’ll always think of those who were worse than me. Take a look at those who are handicaps and you will understand more. Think of those who value, treasure, love, care and cherish you. Be it if there is only ONE friend, I think is enough.
Give everyone a chance to change themselves.
on November 15th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
Dear Eindy,
不要太悲观。。 我们也有绝望的时候。。。life is not as rosy for us too..at times..but we are able to,ina way, learn to let go of some things, just to be kind to ourselves.懂得放下。。宽容自己。。。
on November 15th, 2007 at 9:01 pm
hii bryan !
iie like the show uue host !!!
n0rt onli uue good in hosting still good in singing annd serving !
hahaha .
here’s my prob …
my friends seem to be shutting their door on me .
iie tried veri hard to get into their world but they jusy like kindda leave me out .
there was once when we went out together about 8 of us .
iie was walking infront of all of them when iie turn back behind to look for them , they arre all gone .
iie was very very sad and scared at the same time coz that place is in orchard and iie am staying at hougang .
iie once tried to call them but they did not answer my call .
after awhile only then one of them called me .
they said they went to 7eleven annd couldnt find me but iie just got a kind of feeling that they want me to go on my own .
then when iie turned to look at one of my friend she even stare at me in a very fierce way …
then the whole day iie was like so moodiless …
arre they trying to shut their door on me ?
is that the way they hint to me ; ask me to leave their world ?
all the best in whatever u do ! DD .
on November 15th, 2007 at 9:15 pm
dear love,
sorry for the late reply… let him go. be kind to yourself.
on November 15th, 2007 at 9:19 pm
dear clariss4,
i know that this is the second time you are posting this and sorry for not replying sooner. Not knowing how old you are makes it slightly harder to advise you on your problem. however, did you try to even talk to them about this? don’t doubt your friends before you know the entire truth..we can always iron out the differencess… on the other hand, perhaps you are imagining things? Go talk to them..find out the answer..and we will walk from there…
on November 15th, 2007 at 9:25 pm
Glad to have stumble on this and the opportunity to let you know this. That I always tell my friends you are a man of substance. I know this ever since I saw you on pyramid game long ago. And seeing you on various game shows confirmed this. Home decor just showed your other creative juice. Keep it up
God has blessed you with many talents.
on November 15th, 2007 at 10:11 pm
would like to share with u all a little story which me came across today…
An elderly woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole, which she carried across her neck.
One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.
At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.
Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.
But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.
After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream.
“I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.”
The old woman smiled, “Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side?
That’s because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.”
“For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.
Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.”
Each of us has our own unique flaw…
But it’s the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.
You’ve just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.
To all of my crackpot friends,
have a great day and remember to smell the flowers,
on your side of the path.
Take the time to copy this little story, and send to all your friends Who have a cracked side…
And God knows how many we are!!!
on November 15th, 2007 at 10:17 pm
Hi pigcahontas!
Yes I read this recent post of yours at least twice and will read again!!! I agree with you that I MAYBE TRUSTING PPL BLINDLY IN A WAY!! Like you, I HAVE BEEN PRACTISING GIVING THE BENEFIT OF DOUBTS THAT MAKE ME SO MISERABLE AND DEPRESSED (because will doing this, my perspective is MAYBE THAT PERSON IS NOT LIKE WHAT I THINK…EVEN THOUGH LATER IT PROVE I AM RIGHT, I STILL CONTINUE TO GIVE THAT BENEFIT OF DOUBTS AGAIN AND AGAIN, that’s why I said I MAYBE TRUSTING PPL BUT BLINDLY!!! your word somehow “ENLIGHTEN” ME!!!! but i will need some time to RE DIGEST AGAIN BECAUSE IS REALLY NOT EASY FOR ME TO CHANGE ALTOGETHER!!)
But I have a qn is that there is NO AGREEMENT TO BE DRAFT IN TERMS OF FRIENDSHIP OR DAILY LIFE, SO WHEN REALISE THAT THAT PERSON IS NOT TRUSTWORTHY, THERE IS ONLY HURT BECAUSE THERE ISN’T ANY AGREEMENT OR GUARANTEE (ESPECIALLY YOU ALSO AGREE THAT IS NOT SO SIMPLE AS PENCIL AND DUCK, BECAUSE THERE IS “FEELING” ATTACHED/DEVELOPED ALREADY)…..
Quote from you “In this case, it can be seen that this awareness help me to do action which PREVENT me from disappointment or more problems. ” I THINK I STILL DON’T REALLY KNOW HOW TO USE THIS AWARENESS TO DO ACTION (BUT AT LEAST YOU REALLY HAVE “ENLIGHTEN” ME ON THIS !!!!)
YES, I am aware that NOTHING IN THIS WORLD IS PERMANENT AND REAL!!! BUT LIKE MOST PPL, WE AWARE/KNOW BUT NOT SO SIMPLE TO “LET GO” (though is easy to say and is NOT impossible….but just that is REALLY TOUGH WHEN THE FEELING IS DEEP…WE ARE HUMAN, AND IS THIS “FEELING” THAT WE HAVE MAKES HUMAN DIFFERENT FROM ROBOTS, ETC…THAT’S WHY WE HAVE SO MUCH “SUFFERING”…BUT I KNOW WE NEED TO…..)
I actually BELIEVE what newspaper report until recent years!! I also used to BELIEVE WHAT SINGERS, ARTISTES SAID AND BELIEVE THEY ARE VERY “GOOD”, HAPPY AS THEY APPEAR IN SCREEN….but now, NO LAR….But these are easier to change because there is NO FEELING (IN A WAY) OR RATHER DIFFERENT TYPE OF FEELING AS FRIENDS, RELATIONSHIP,ETC….
Quote “People can help you but the only person who can determine your recovery is you….and it’s important that you believe you can do it. And also, about not depending on others for your happiness, i meant that you can start to do whatever that makes you happy now. For example, if i feel like eating jap food today, i will not wait until my friends are free to go with me, i will go and eat on my own. The keypoint is, do BELIEVE in yourself, that you are able to be happy always. even if you are unsure, do BELIEVE that you are able to do it.” ACTUALLY WHEN I WAS IN MY TEENS, I WILL WAIT FOR FRIENDS TO ACCOMPANY ME!!HAHA, BUT THEN, ONE DAY (BEFORE 19/20),I THOUGHT I SHOULDN’T AND SO I STARTED TO GO OUT ALONE , EAT ALONE, (WHICH WAS QUITE AWKWARD AND SCARY)…BUT BACK THEN, WAS OK BECAUSE I AM “NORMAL”…BUT NOW, I JUST UNABLE TO DO IT!!!(“SIMPLE ” TASK WHICH I AM ABLE TO , NOW I UNABLE TO EVEN I TRY VERY VERY HARD!!!!….BUT I WILL CONTINUE BECAUSE I REALLY REALLY WANT TO BE “NORMAL” AGAIN , “normal” as in able to do things like before and NOT IN DEPRESSION!!!) I HAVE BEEN USING “NORMAL” NOT BECAUSE DEPRESSION IS VIEWED AS ABNORMAL , just that tasks/feeling that are simple/ok in the past, NOW because of depression, become so DIFFICULT AND NOT OK….BUT TO ALL, “DEPRESSION” IS STILL NORMAL PERSON LAR!!!
Don’t worry, this time you sound really ok and I will NOT TRUST YOU BLINDLY
(ACTUALLY I SORT OF TRUSTED YOU AND HOPE ,BRYAN TOTALLY!!!) Will “change” so that I and EVEN RAINEE will NOT BE HURT SO EASILY!!!
THANKS A LOT, Pigcahontas AND HOPE AND ALL WHO ARE CONCERNED ABOUT ME!!!
on November 15th, 2007 at 10:49 pm
Bryan!
You didn’t reply me too =( .. Haha… But is ok, I guess I just needed an outlet and ‘type’ all my problems away… haha… In fact, I did feel better after the vigorous typing….
Well my problems are not really solved, but I am looking at them in a new light, treating them as personal challenges..
Right now, I will focus on my exams and forget about everything else… For others with problems, finding something worthwhile to do is a good way to take your mind off troubles. I don’t know, but it certainly works for me!
Anyways, enjoy your HK trip Bryan!
on November 15th, 2007 at 11:14 pm
dear sh,
sorry..thought you just wanted to let off some steam. Sometimes, or should i say, most of the times, it hurts more when our own family members are the ones causing us pain.Yet, we are in a dilema cause they are family… sigh….however, it would be good to have a good talk with your brother and if he does not listen, i guess its better not to cross his path..Wat you could do is to love your mother more, appease her with tender loving care. As for your friend..perhaps he is going thru some difficult moments..talk to him about his recent behaviour..if the answer is not satisfactory to you, you know where to shower your concern on……
on November 15th, 2007 at 11:27 pm
或许我的人生太过平淡了。。。
我一直渴望有着不太平谈的生活。。。
人还真得很矛盾。。。算了。
if you can’t win them, join them… but i don’t want to join them so i choose to look forward…
还是向前走比较好。。。no point harpping on stuff that i can’t change…
i should try to change it then.
谢了！没想到你会reply。。。我也没想到我会留言。。。毕竟我也不年轻了。。 哈哈哈！
on November 15th, 2007 at 11:39 pm
hahh ! bryan !!!
thanks for ur opinion arrh …
btw ; iie’m 14 >
on November 15th, 2007 at 11:40 pm
我知道如果一个人只藏在自己的世界里，只会有眼泪，不会有真正的快乐； 我承认我有点犹豫，对于狮子座的我来讲，应该是一件不可思议的事情。
一直以来，我对论语都没什么好感，因为全部都是文言文，看不懂； 因此忽略了它。 最近在一个节目中学会了一些2500年前的论语，和大家一起分享：
话说：有一天，子贡问了孔老夫子一个非常大的问题，他说：“有一言而可以终身行之者乎？”您能告诉我一个字，使我可以终身实践，并且永久受益吗？
老师以商量的口气对他说：“其恕乎！”如果有这么个字，那大概就是“恕”字吧。
什么叫“恕”呢？老师又加了八个字的解释，叫做“己所不欲，勿施于人”。就是你自个儿不想干的事，你就不要强迫别人干。人一辈子做到这一点就够了。
拓展一点说，“恕”字是讲你不要强人所难，不要给别人造成伤害。言外之意是假如他人给你造成了伤害，你也应该尽量宽容。
但是，真正做到宽容谈何容易。有很多时候，一个事情本来已经过去了，而我们还是老在那儿想，这么可恶的事，我怎么能原谅它呢？然后就在不断的自我咀嚼中，一次一次再受伤害。
佛家有一个有意思的小故事：
小和尚跟老和尚下山化缘，走到河边，见一个姑娘正发愁没法过河。老和尚对姑娘说，我把你背过去吧。于是就把姑娘背过了河。
小和尚惊得瞠目结舌，又不敢问。这样又走了二十里路，实在忍不住了，就问老和尚说，师父啊，我们是出家人，你怎么能背着那个姑娘过河呢？
老和尚就淡淡地告诉他，你看我把她背过河就放下了，你怎么背了二十里地还没放下？
这个故事的道理其实和孔夫子教给大家的一样，该放下时且放下，你宽容别人，其实是给自己留下来一片海阔天空。
看了这些论语，我顿时好像开窍了，好像原本很多交叉错乱的脑超波尽管曾经天翻地覆，现在都一一归位了，想通了很多很多。。。原来孔老夫子的论语不只是教育我们，而且还是一服良药，尽管是治精神上崩溃还是情绪的泛滥都行，只要愿意指教。
Bryan, depressed & 马姐姐，我会康复的，因为 ： “ 多宽容一点，为自己留下来一片海阔天空 ”。
on November 16th, 2007 at 7:48 am
Guard our hearts.
No one is perfect.
I treat others well is my duty.
Others treat me well is mercy.
on November 16th, 2007 at 1:48 pm
recently very stressed with life…work, family, social life, studies…can survive through but i need alot of strength…. :’(
on November 17th, 2007 at 11:29 am
Failure. Life lesson to learn – Wait (You’ll succeed in the right time)
Lack of money. Life lesson to learn – Trust (You’ve the ability to mutiply)
Pain or sorrow
or depression. Life lesson to learn – Forgiveness (Forgive yourself and others, do not
dwell in the past)
Waiting. Life lesson to learn – Patience (In the rt.time, all things r beautiful)
Illness. Life lesson to learn – Humble (Made of clay,only dust)
Disappointment. Life lesson to learn – Commit (No complaints)
I’ve a life message to share, my life message includes my life lessons from which I learned from my family, my friends, my relationship, my mentors.
on November 18th, 2007 at 11:57 am
sorry! but i just had to say this. the buddha drawing you did on the contestants’ wall was the best i’ve seen you draw thus far. keep up the good work!!!
on November 18th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
Eindy你好，
关于`学历`及`实力`那篇，我漏了重要的一点，与你分享。
我是很非常努力工作的人。当年在电视台当助导的年代，我除了自己的工作、还很有心机地包办资料搜集的工作（本应是撰稿的工作），这，我想是我们老板注意到我的原因；
当上撰稿后，我一个人做几个节目，每天的上班时间是从0830 – 0600。是滴你没看错，我只利用一个半小时回家梳洗，便又重新投入工作。这，我想是我被派予越来越多有得发挥的节目的缘故。
当然除了努力，我算是有`天分`的。所谓的天分，其实是老天、岁月、生活经历赐予每个人的一份礼物。有人擅长劳作、有人擅长表演、有人擅长销售，而我，擅长文字创作。
擅长于某样事物，并不是一种`幸运`。
那是一种对自己的`了解`。
你了解自己的强项在哪里吗？
想清楚，你在想的那样事物，真的是你的强项，抑或只是你的梦想？
如果真是强项，恭喜你，已成功一大半。接下来便要拉低身段、便要更努力表现，这样子来引起伯乐的注意。伯乐是很忙的，他要提拔很多人，不可能要他用放大镜来找你。
但如果你想做的，仅是`梦想`，那就难一点。
难一点的意思，并不等于`不可能`。只是。。。。难一点。
首先，你要比有天分的人更加努力、更加迟回家、更加放弃私人时间、更加无怨无悔。
因为路是人走出来的，也是人自己选的。
除非有人拿着枪逼你做某件事，否则，你就要为自己的`自愿`而付出更多心血。
你可以去上课、也可以去参加相关的club来认识与你梦想有关的人，
慢慢地，但一步步地，走向你的梦想。
会花一些时间。但是，总得有个开始。
我今年36。在34那年决定离开哺育了我十几年的电视台，在外飘离浪荡。那个飘离浪荡的过程是很苦的，Bryan就知道。
但如果清楚明白自己走的每步路的原因，
苦，就不是个问题，只是个条件。
现在我算是安定下来。在杂志社工作，我重新回到每周7日、每天18小时的工作状态。
我觉得这是种循环，所以乐在其中。
我们并不认识，谁都不真正明白谁的苦。
在这虚拟的境界里，凭着那一点点的热心、一点点的好奇，互相从对方的字里行间寻找慰解。
我希望，我的经历真能帮到你。
如果帮不到，那不是你无能、不是你倒霉，
而是我们接触不到彼此的眼，你看不到我给你的鼓励。
你的文笔不错。
如果这强处跟你的梦想有关联的话，
恭喜你，你有机会。
某些行业，学历真的是不重要的。
on November 18th, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Hi there, I am feeling low cuz of my job. I hate my job but i cant quit as I have 3 years of bond. My love life is in a mess. Went into mild depression once and were back to normal. To me, life is passing day by day. I dread the life I am living.
on November 18th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
Hi Depressed
If you want to know more about the operation of SOS, pls. refer to Newpaper dated 181107.
on November 19th, 2007 at 2:09 am
Hi Swing
No matter ‘where we lived’ (situations)
At the’ beautiful mountain’ (good times)
Or lay down at a’ dark valley’(bad times)
When you’ lift up your head’ (Seeking for strength)
You’ll find out (The Sun, your strength will never leave nor forsake you)
‘THE SUN’ beyond the cloud is never change (Strength)
Though there is’ rain drop on the face’ (Stress)
THE SUN beyond the cloud is never… change
NEVER CHANGE!
*Though we cannot see the sun when it rains but the sun is always beyond the cloud.
THE SUN never leave nor forsake us.
*Though we cannot see the sun when it’s night but we still have moon and stars.
When we see the moon, it remind us of THE’ SUN-LIGHT’ and knows that THE SUN
never leave us nor forsake us even when there’s darkness around us.
When we see the ‘stars’, they’re ‘twinkle, twinkle little stars like diamonds’ in the ‘sky’.
We could only see the beauty of the stars when night falls.
When we met with ‘problems’, they’re ‘trials’ in ‘life’.
Trials in life are like stars in the sky.
We could only see the beauty of the stars when night falls.
Trials in life are like stars in the sky.
S – Strength S – Stress
W – Will W – Weary
I – Increase I – I
N – Never N – Never
G – Give Up G – Give In
SWING – What a beautiful Name!
on November 19th, 2007 at 2:14 am
S Strength
W Will
I Increase
N Never
G Give Up
S Stress
W Weary
I I
N Never
G Give In
For better understanding.
on November 19th, 2007 at 2:48 am
Hi Bryan
I’m sorry that I’ve been ‘talking’ too much recently but I want to praise your good work. I’ve found in you, the grace towards others. You’ve made ways for those who seems to be no way to renew their strength. I’m one of them who benefit from your grace. By upholding others I actually drawing strength for each new day.
Your blog is a roadway in my wilderness that lead me in opening myself once again after what I’ve been through. It’s something new today for me, my heart was being changed and renewed.
on November 19th, 2007 at 9:17 am
Hi 马珏俐
我好佩服你! 除了因为你热爱你的工作和它是你所爱的。你如何能睡那么少? 不可能不累，不会想睡吗?
通常我都要睡至少8个小时。 我好讨厌睡眠不足，早上起来会觉得好痛苦! 一天的情绪会不好，头”空空”，不太能思考工作! 请问你如何克服这些种种? (我相信你也有过吧?)
谢谢你!
on November 19th, 2007 at 5:37 pm
Hi Bryan,
I happened to see the article on ur blog on the newspaper so wanted to drop by. I have been through a period of time when i was really stressed up too. At that point of time, I actually have many stupid thoughts. However, the bad times passed quickly and I soon regained my confidence and laughter.
The morale of the story is: Good times will come while bad times will passed!!!
Who don’t experience bad times? The answer is everyone does. Instead of choosing to believe that our agony will last, we should trust that the good times will come. There is always a better tomorrow waiting for everyone of us.
on November 19th, 2007 at 5:52 pm
dear little stupid,
if you really cannot tahan anymore, may i suggest that you leave the job? because, one cannot function proplerly when they are not in a well/good form and don’t think you could be much of a help around the office.Also, i think that your boss should be able to understand the difficulties that you are facing.If you are very soft hearted, perhaps you may want to express yourself clearly about the situation you are in and see if your boss is able to find another staff, thus lessening your jod pressure and may be able to retain you there instead of you leaving. Sigh..we are always ruled by our emotions and many a times we put ourselves in a rather difficult situation just to make life easier for them..but…there is always a limit to wat we can do..if its time to let go, we just have to….
on November 19th, 2007 at 8:05 pm
woohoo!!… bryan on newspaper..!! hahas…. u saved some1 life …. anyway..
juz wanna tell u that… it’s really sweet of u to ‘listen’ to our problems … althou i got some problem also… but but… see-ing how u look at life helped me to think postively…
althou.. some times.. things happend that made me think negatively…
anyway… gd luk for ur career…
on November 19th, 2007 at 8:06 pm
omg…. wrong website… pai seh pai seh… hahas..
on November 19th, 2007 at 9:04 pm
Well but there will be time that we know that we have to let go for certain things but we just can’t seems to do it. For example like relationship?
on November 19th, 2007 at 10:43 pm
er…hihi…Bryan kor kor do you believe tat the world is coming to an end??i’m really afraid…i thing i’m most afraid of is death….and parting with my family and friends…also…i really wish to help my father to earn money to sort of lighten his burden but…..i’m not old enough to work…what can i do??!!i just want to help my father to buy a car he desires….and i hope this will just remain in this webpage….thx..X(
on November 19th, 2007 at 11:02 pm
hi, bryan.
i am 16 year-old and i always have a quarrel with my parents over certain issuesand have a bad temper.
What should i do??
on November 20th, 2007 at 12:17 am
Hi Bryan
Heard about your blog fr0m the “wan pao”, makes me curios to read your blog. You did a good job counselling Chili Padi and the many others on your blog. It is said that your problems and your weakness will help you minister to those who are ” trapped like you”. Isn’t it true?
To “depressed”
Maybe you should start by changing your name from depressed to something that you will wish to be. Your words determined your state you will be in.
Seeing you being able to counsel Chili Padi shows that you are able to feel other people pain. You are already not depressed any more. Think of ways to make yourself hapi and when depressing thoughts come, let it be. For when we cry its a way of healing our pain.
I want to share some thoughts that my friend Crystal sent to me. Its worth pondering!
“We have a have a hard time allowing ourselves to receive, don’t we?
We ask and pray and wish for miracles, help, and changes in our lives, but rarely do we allow those miracles to manifest. Rarely do we allow ourselves to receive the help, love, encouragement, support, or guidance that we are seeking.
Allowing is the most significant ingredient needed to become.
Allowing is the only way to find acceptance, peace, faith, trust, and love.
Allowing is about letting go — letting it happen — and letting God:
Allowing it to work for you.
Allowing others to help you.
Allowing life to support you.
Allowing the Universe to guide you, support you, and show you.
Allowing “what is” to be your gift, without judgment.
Allowing your own body to become “clear of impurities” — and trusting that it is your conduit if you’ll listen to the messages it sends you.
Allowing yourself to be honest with the people in your life.
Allowing yourself to be honest with yourself.
Allowing yourself to be happy, to be loved, to be okay with who you are, regardless of what anyone else thinks.
This is freedom — but it takes courage, and for most of us we are so afraid to allow ourselves to even be honest with ourselves. We are so afraid to even be ourselves! ”
Take care and be happy.
on November 20th, 2007 at 1:10 am
hi depressed,
keke…thanx for being so supportive of my sharing. You know, i learnt a lot from you too. From your frankness, i learnt about how i can do better in bringing my message across. I’m really grateful for your willingness to listen to what i’ve to say and it really help me to build up my confidence in this aspect. And with your every post, i see positive changes in you. Previously, i see that you are more focus on your problem, but now, you are focusing a lot on finding the solution….keke…great effort you have there!
From your last post, i see that you have some of the positive rationale in you liao, and the difficulties you faced are the feelings that you are less in control of. Actually, i had nearly forgotten liao, and your post just reminds me that i also had a hard time overcoming negative emotions the other time. I kept thinking about what exactly makes me ‘let go’ the other time, though i forgot the specific details, i believe its because of some of my BELIEF SYSTEM which i have learnt.
Firstly, as there’s no truth, there’s also no right or wrong for human behaviour and there’s only CONSEQUENCE. If i say xxx words and Peter (for example) gets angry, it doesn’t mean that i’m wrong or Peter is right. It only mean that, if i don’t want Peter to get upset, then i will not say xxx words.
Similarly, when i see a person, i don’t see them as good or bad, i just see them as what they appear. I have a colleague who is very eager to help me, is supportive and encouraging to me in my workplace. It could have been easy for anyone to believe that she is good, but i didn’t, i just see her as her, neither good or bad. No interpretation made but i continously seek to understand her, to understand what makes her happy, what makes her upset….etc..(it’s also what i do to everyone else around me). Recently, she sort of ‘backstab’ me. I put the inverted comas because i know that she didn’t mean to hurt me. I know that she has her own difficulties and if she has a greater control, she would definately not do it. Hence, i’ m not upset with her and continue to be with her as usual. From this incident, you can see a few points which have prevented me from being sad.
1) I don’t categorise people nor interpret behaviours as good or bad. Help is help, that’s all. i’m grateful to it, but i don’t give extra meaning to it.
2) I always seek to understand first (which is easier to do), instead of seeking to be understood.
3) When i don’t categorise her as someone good, then i wouldn’t have the EXPECTATION that she will be good to me always. Hence, there will be no disappointment. Actually, i’m not even surprise that she ‘back stab’ me. EXPECTATION is usually the cause of disappointment, so to prevent disappointment, we have to take away our expectations first.
4) Lastly, my life goal is to be happy. Nothing in this world is worth for me to give up my happiness. So it’s also a reason why i DIDN’T WANT to be upset or angry (Yes, we can control our own emotions). It serves NO PURPOSE. However, i did learn a lesson from this incident, that is to come up with actions to prevent being back stab, that’s all. And the actions has made me more professional in my job also.
Hence for me, i believe that the objective of my behaviour is always about GETTING WHAT I WANT.
In addition, i would like to highlight that there are actually a lot more to know that could help you, but i think i need to write a book if i want to include everything….keke…so hor, i would hope that you can pick up some self-development books to know better. Here are some books that help me a lot: “Awaken the giant within” by Anthony Robbins, “Practical miracles for Mars and Venus” by John Gray and “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” by John Gray. Although the last book is on r/s, it helps me to understand myself better.
on November 20th, 2007 at 9:53 am
Hi pigcahontas,
REALLY THANKS A LOT!!! I AM REALLY VERY VERY GLAD THAT WE ARE ABLE TO LEARN FROM EACH OTHER TO BE A “BETTER AND HAPPIER” PERSON!!!
I AM REALLY GRATEFUL TO YOU AND HOPE AND BRYAN AND ALL THOSE WHO ARE CONCERNED ABOUT ME! THANKS A LOT!!!
Frankly speaking, I am feeling better though at times I still in depressed but I THINK I am getting better WITH YOUR SHARING (Which was what I have been searching for answer-THAT ARE WHAT YOUR PREVIOUS LAST 2 POSTS ARE ABOUT. because like what you said the difficulties I faced are the feelings that I am less in control of AND DON’T KNOW HOW TO COPE and you REALLY ARE ABLE TO “SEE” MY “PROBLEMS” NOW (sad to sayeven my best friends ARE NOT able to know!!).
The advises you SHARE ARE REALLY REALLY VERY VERY HELPFUL TO ME!!!!!!. I knew there is no right or wrong for human behaviour BUT just DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO “APPLY” OR “CONFUSED” WHEN DIFFERENT PPL TELL ME “CONTRADICTING” ways themselves (I ever told a few friends about this “no right or wrong belief and DON’T EXPECT” BUT like I said, is always easier to tell ppl but don’t know how to “advise own or can’t let go”, and this is what human always “err”,right?)
BUT NOW, WITH EXPLICIT EXPERIENCES OF YOURS, I AM BETTER IN REALLY UNDERSTANDING IT’S” APPLICATION OR MEANING”!!! AND I AM SURE ALL THAT BENEFITS MANY MANY MANY TOO…THANKS SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!
You know what, the other time the book you recommend in the other link, I REALLY WENT TO SEARCH BUT TOO BAD, NOT AVAILABLE! (but depression came back very frequent at that time and I just CAN’T find the “interest” to read/search).btw, what’s r/s?
I think maybe because I am stupid because there are “principles,etc” that I know BUT I AM NOT WISE TO KNOW HOW TO APPLY OR CAN’T “CONTROL MY FEELINGS” (because of my character!!!),etc.
Maybe YOU AND HOPE CAN CO-OPERATE TO WRITE A BOOK!!! I AM REALLY VERY VERY SERIOUS!!! What makes the book different can be BOTH YOUR SHARING OF YOUR DETAILED AND EXPERIENCES (the HOWS)…
btw, what’s the news about Bryan in wan bao? Anyone can share? (I become more kaypo)
on November 20th, 2007 at 10:08 am
Hope,Pigcahontas, or maybe another “faster and easier” way is to open a blog like bryan and you share your explicit belief, daily encounter and experiences (how you deal with them because like the experience you shared are “common” but MANY ppl DIDN’T GIVE THEM A DETAILED THOUGHT as in HOW SHOULD WE ACTUALLY “DEAL” MENTALLY AND IN ACTION,etc ” bit by bit? THAT WILL REALLY HELPS MANY MANY !!!
(Because like I said, many,including “ME”, may “know” and can “talk” and “advise” BUT THAT’S BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT IN THAT SITUATION (at that time or never ever), so is easier to just say say and advise!! BUT both of you are DIFFERENT because first, BOTH OF YOU ARE SINCERE IN HELPING AND HAD BEEN THROUGH THOSE “HARD TIMES” (Like what Pigcahontas said “Actually, i had nearly forgotten liao, and your post just reminds me that i also had a hard time overcoming negative emotions the other time. I kept thinking about what exactly makes me ‘let go’ the other time, though i forgot the specific details, i believe its because of some of my BELIEF SYSTEM which i have learnt. “- THAT’S WHAT MAKES BOTH OF YOU ABLE TO HELP “US” )
BUT I know “I” NEED TO HELP MYSELF AND CANNOT SOLELY DEPEND ON PPL BUT WHEN CAN’T FIND SOLUTION ON OUR OWN AND CANNOT COPE ANYMORE, SUPPORT AND HELP ARE STILL NECESSARY LOR!!!
THANKS AGAIN AND AGAIN TO PIGCAHONTAS,HOPE AND BRYAN….!!!!
btw, while I am writing, phone rang and my hands and legs started to “tremble” again…but I will try HARD to overcome!
Maybe will consider to change my name!! haha
on November 20th, 2007 at 10:26 am
Hi Bryan, I just realised that you have ignored the wrong post that I posted to Chilli padi on November 14th, 2007 at 10:32 pm (Actually should delete this post and leave the 2nd “amended” post because there was a serious typo error that was :
I think though Claudia said she hate you, but she still willing to give you 1 advise show that she still cares but maybe because of “certain reason” that make her “hate” (actually maybe really be hate) you…- actually amended typo error is “actully maybe NOT be really hate)
Thanks!!
on November 20th, 2007 at 10:47 am
我看到了！很多很像一前的我…不该为另一半作出什么傻事…如果他伤害了你，代表他不爱你，朋友还有的再找过.不要玩命，我也为这两个自杀过，长大了，受伤的伤痕多难看.长大了，你才会发现…以前那么做.是多么傻的事情….不值得为感情，爱情，而自杀….如果是这样的话，你是个珍惜你自己的人..！世界上不是100%完美的….希望你们赞同我的看法，希望你们不要再傻了..bryan你也要加油
on November 20th, 2007 at 12:33 pm
Henrik,
You should go over to Quan Yifeng’s Blog (you may link over from bryan’s), and read an article she wrote about parental love.
You should wait 10 second before letting words out, that 10 second will allows you to cool down, organise your speech, control your facial expression. You probably realise that after that, you dont even have a case to make.
Sometime we should also try to treat family members as `outsider`. Somehow we treat outsiders better than our family members or close friends.. ironic, but perhaps we just took them for granted thats why.
Then again, its alright to talk about your feelings, its even more unhealthy to allow negative thoughts to snowball within us. Cultivate hobbies whereby you can let go of some stress and energy. Treat yourself better, then you will learn to treat others likewise.
Release stress, enjoy your teenage, it never comes back
on November 20th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
Tired 你好！
30岁前我真的是几乎不用睡的！可能因为我每天都有太多可期待的，所以`兴致勃勃`的情绪会让我保持亢奋状态。
30岁后`报应`就来了。
全身酸痛、黑眼圈严重、脾气不好（哈哈）、常有怨言（娃哈哈）。
所以我说，做人就要好好地对自己。有机会休息就去休息，逞什么强？
我现在工作时间虽也长，但我超会找机会休息。有10分钟就歇10分钟，有半小时就睡半小时。
这些小小的 break 很重要，因为我永远不知道我下一次休息的时间是什么时候。
工作重要，玩也很重要。我到现在都保持`边玩边做`的习惯。
环境活泼，人自然就精神。
而如果真的累到不行的话，
那不是去睡咯。。
使死咩？
on November 20th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
补充：
哦还有一点，我不怕睡眠不足，但我超怕早起床！
所以我来杂志社工作的条件，
便是任我选择我上班的时间。
别人是9-6，我就10-7pm（虽然我每天离开公司都已超过半夜2点）。
但反正我就是半夜很精神的那种人，
所以宁愿用晚上的`表现`来换取白天的自由。
我老板更劲！
他每天晚上4点才离开公司，
早上7点就回来上班。
我问他为什么还没死，
他说`已经习惯`了。
我想，可能人越老需要的睡眠就越重质不重量。
买个好的（贵的，如Tempur）枕头吧。
你会一觉睡天光的。
on November 20th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Hi, i read y’day wanbao and feel very touching… n feel sad also as sometimes i also hv d kind of thinking…feel stress on work n relationship with sibling also not tat good..can said very bad, so i ever though tat may b is good if i leaving earlier.. but i dare not as i still hv alot place never go….
on November 20th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Hi Bryan!
First time writing to you.i have some troubles and i hope u can give me some advice.Thanks!=]
My parents are always quarreling with each other and it’s all because of money.Only my dad is working and his salary is not a lot.Sometime i just wish they could stop quarreling.I feel so frustrated.Even i went to my room still can hear it.sometime mum would just pull me into the picture saying that i should not come to this world, cause she had to pay all the things after given birth to me and my dad didn’t pay for it.i’m useless can’t help out in household chores or help to cook.i admit i’m a bit lazy, but i’m trying to kick the habit.my mum also complain to dad what I done wrong.She just never try to use another point of view to reason things out.I feel so terrible, i hate it when my parents quarrel.Mum & I will always quarrel over small matters also and i always talk back to her.i know i should not but i can’t control my anger.But in the end i always give in to her cause i don’t want to make it even worse.Then whenever it happens, she will lecture me i can’t help out in household chores etc.i felt hurt.I jus want a happy family…is that too much to ask for?=[
Whenever i hang out with my friends i will always feel inferior to them...whether it's studies or appearance they are better than me.I just want to be myself but tried as i might i can't accept myself for who I am.please help me.
Take cares & smile always!=]
on November 20th, 2007 at 3:55 pm
我朋友都讲我很肥,又不是我要的.
on November 20th, 2007 at 4:01 pm
My brother always say me is a pig why can i do
on November 20th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
hi bryan! i love to tell u my worries… i’m only 10 this year and i’m going to be 11 in 2008. i feel so stress and worry. i love to study but whenever i walk pass my computer or my television, i’ll on it!!! then, i will watch tv the whole day and did not study! what should i do!!!! i am so stress…
on November 20th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
Hi Bryan
Happened to saw your blog and I am impressed by your kindness of creating this meaningful entry to care and share with everyone…
For depressed and other friends who are t.r.a.p.p.e.d:
In this page you are reading now, look at all the response, Love is all ard isn’t it.. You got all the support from us… JIAYOU* and be JOY!
ps: To depressed, we are looking forward to see a new nick from you like what Bryan mentioned
Ps: To bryan , your design’s rockkk!! Very creative and interesting drawing!! Keep it up!! *walk with you…. wait for you*… winkz
Cheers
J
(^.^)
on November 20th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
ok this is what i wanna share : I would never deny that I have felt curious about lesbianity and even had the impulse to try it.But I really felt it was very sinful & I never took that step , I am glad for it however , things didnt go as I thought. A girl felt for me & started getting her friends to test me out.I did not reject her so she thought I was interested , I just did not know how to reject her.She waited for months but I thought she forgot about it already and did not bother about it anymore.Recently she appeared before me again loooking very sad and then , her friends started hating me because they thought I rejected her & still looked so cheerful(but what could i do ppl only wanna see u laugh , joke, act cheerful wat, i could not burden others with all my “real “thoughts so ppl always thought i was very lucky had everything in e world & started trying 2 hurt me but they never got @ me cos i had this habit of always looking happy perhaps jus only 4 1 person it would be enough) . but for this situation what should I do?
p.s this might be because a friend of hers once tested me and i reacted like a lesbian,feeling angry when that friend was with another of my classmate but it wasnt really that case it was just because that classmate of mine insisted that i was lesbian and stated irritating me and my anger was just due to that not her with that friend then what should i do they started avoiding me giving me no chance to explain.To make matters worse, I was absent the next day after the incident and looked really sad thereafter but that was because my grandmother died.so all of those misunderstandings and more made me llook like a lesbian and all of them started disliking me and even persuaded my friends to avoid me because i was a “lesbian” they called me pervert because they think i showed interest in another girl but rejected their friend who waited for almost a year.Please do not ask me to explain because they do not believe me they think i am a hypocrite who act nice & tries to show i am not lesbian to attract the attention of another girl(but truth is i am just a2 straightforward person who cant keep anything in my heart & my anger last no longer than 15 min though i wish 4 it to be longer). i feel so troubled i even worry about meeting them on the streets and can no longer be natural in school with my friends because they are always looking , because my friends already heard about it and some are suspecting whether i am lesbian and because of the impact the incident had on me .I had become more sensitive and careful when i meet other girls in order not to appear lesbian however things always turn out the other way.Please give me advice. Should I apologize to the girl who felt for me she is not exactly a mean person and so i really feel kind of guilty & horrid espwhen she looks at me sad.I tried accomodating by avoiding her but got misunderstood as admitting i am guilty of lesbianity????
on November 20th, 2007 at 5:29 pm
我从小就经常被人讲我很吵。上几个月，哥哥帮我做email.同学也有email但都不给我讲我烦死人。我下定决心要改，但妈妈讲我本性难移。我真的想改。bryan哥哥你教我该从那里改起呢？
on November 20th, 2007 at 5:34 pm
I saw from the news that u manage to presuade someone from doing stupid things.Actually I am here to leave my unhappy things behind. A lot of things have happened to me this year and is saddening. Jux need a listening ear, well… I should said that my circle of friends become very small because of that event and I doesnt really like to hang out with other. What to do?
on November 20th, 2007 at 5:56 pm
hi Henrik … im juz trying to help u…
sometimes when i quarrel with my parents… i wud go into my room…
and always think bout this…
”do u wanna live ur live quarrelling with ur parents? ” and ” how long more ur parents can by ur side? ” so.. choose whether u wan to live in a happy and positive situation with ur parents or live in a unhappy and negative situation?? ur parents can possibly stay with u forever rite?
maybe u find u lame or sth else but but…
always consider first b4 u actually make th quarrel worst…
actually … whenever ur parents quarrel with u… they feel sad…
hope u get wad i mean … cuz im only sec 2 and i dunno how to put it in words…
on November 20th, 2007 at 7:13 pm
hihi… i saw this blog from the newspapers… wonder if anyone can help me in a way…
i just broke up with my bf about 3 months back… initially, i accepted it and wanted to move on although i had a lot of doubts in my mind… but sometimes his actions made me thought that there is actually hope to getting back together… but after an hostel event, everything changed… he was cold and not willing to talk… he asked me not to wait for him and expect me to take it without any other explanations… he even blocked me on msn… we had common frens, so everytime i was there talking to them, he would appear then left seeing me with them, he would give the black face whenever he saw me,… i would try to say hi but he would barely accknowledge it… i dun know what he is angry at but this behavior had also made things rather awkward between our common frens… like one can only exist without the other, they would also dun know to call me for gatherings or not… i just feel sad by his way of doing things… it’s like we used to so close and now we are not even frens…
recently, i sent him a gd luck msg for the upcoming exams, he replied saying gd luck to me too… then i replied woah! thanks… (in exact words) he misinterpreted my msg and deemed it sarcastic… he even wrote in his blog and … it was just an expression of surprise… every little i do he seems to see it in an negative manner… all my frens told me to ignore him… it is a little difficult when u like see him almost everyday… recovery has been slow, the latest incident seem to put it to a halt… I’m trying my best not to see him by moving back home from hostel during the exam period… soon it will be over, the thought of having to see his black face again frightens me… what should i do? i dun wanna to move out just like this…
on November 20th, 2007 at 8:13 pm
Been together with my bf for 5 yr since we are 20yo. Recently I found out he has a relationship with his classmate a yr ago. He told me, prior to my discovery, he has decided to choose me. And he’s slowly letting go of the relation with the girl. I always thot we will be married soon but now it seems impossible. I was asked to wait for him to settle with the girl. He’s not able to break off with the girl immediately as they are colleagues and the company don’t even know my existence. Not sure if I shld wait. Waiting is so miserable. But not to wait, I feel so sad coz somehow deep down inside I know my bf and I are truly in love with each other.
on November 20th, 2007 at 11:07 pm
dear all,
i am presently still in hk..yes i came back on sunday night just for the filming of home decor on monday and me flew back to hk on the same day and will be back to sgp on thursday.though i can gain access to a computer(not really one as i am viewing from a flat screen tv and holding a keyboard on one hand and typing from the other as i have to angle the keyboard in such a way that the sensor is then able to read and trust me, it is v difficult. however, i will try my best to come up with some answers to your dilema when i am back on thursday. to all the other ‘advisers’ out there, please do help in the meantime.thanks ya!
on November 20th, 2007 at 11:24 pm
hi girl,
虽然我不是bryan，但是我还是可以给你一些建议！虽然不知道你所谓的吵是吵到什么地步？ 但是要让人相信你，其实并不是很难但是要看你会怎么做啦？ 就因为家人了解你的个性，所以他们才会说出本性难移之类的话！ 但是要让他们相信是需要时间的，不能说我要改他们就会相信你真的会改，尤其是跟你生活这么久的家人！所以啦。。。慢慢来，只要在日常生活中慢慢改进家人会慢慢看得出你的转变的！
on November 20th, 2007 at 11:59 pm
Dear unhappy,
I understand your feelings because i doesnt really know how to mix with friend or make new friend. Though friendship is important but if you have two or three friends who truly cares for you and you able to mix with them well and happily, you should be contented enough! although more friends make your life feel with more laughter but doesn’t mean that you will be more happy? because in the end there will only be a few of them becoming your best friends! But of course if you really wish to know more friends but not sure how to widen your circle? perharps you can hang out together with your friends who you comfortable with and get them to introduce? so don’t get affected by friendship, if you willing there will always be someone who willing to be friends with you!
on November 21st, 2007 at 11:59 am
For all those who felt inferior because of `Appearance`:
To begin, I am fat.
But you know what, fat does not block charm. watch more, read more, know more, it all add up to becoming a more confident person.
let your speech, your personality do the work.
When you are being `noticed`, you feel more confident;
When you are full of confidence, you shine.
But if somehow you still couldnts live in peace with fats,
lose it.
and to conclude, oh well Bryan was fat too, he work very hard to achieve today’s `Fit Look`, hey learn from the guy!
on November 21st, 2007 at 12:34 pm
Hi Bryan
I really love yr laughter!
How to help a man of early 40′s to overcome the fear of holding hands in the public?
From Lost
on November 21st, 2007 at 12:48 pm
hey bryan, is there any ways tat can stop one from thinking of committing sucide?
recently i have been through a lot of emotional things.. tat always make mi depressed.
yet i have no one to confide with.. there are times tat i feel realli sad, yet i have to go home with a happy face, pretending nth happend at all. it’s realli terrible to hide my feelings at all times. my wrist is full of cuts.. n rite now i am working to keep my mind busy. but tat doesnt seems to be working as well. i realli dunno wad to do n i do not wish to continue tis way…
on November 21st, 2007 at 7:06 pm
有位28岁的网友发 email给我，
提到关于`人生目标、追逐梦想`的困扰。
我回覆了她，也征得她同意，
把内容登在这里，
与有类似问题的朋友共勉之。
====================================
Eindy，
你好！不用叫我马大姐啦（其实我姓何。。。），
也不用立正，我们坐下来聊就好。
跟你分享我对两个词汇的想法。
一个是`自卑`，一个是`自大`。
人，自然是以自我为中心的。
不管是自卑也好，自大也罢，
基本上就是围着自己在钻牛角尖。
当你把一切的想法、一切的愿景，
都收在自己心里、脑里时，
我不用夜观星象都可以告诉你，
它是不会实现的。
这个道理其实很简单。
肚子饿，就要去吃。
画饼充饥、望梅止渴都不是办法。
也许食物离你很远，
你也不知道该选吃`酒酿丸子`好；
还是`安格斯牛排`强。
但若因为犹豫不决，
而让两者都凉掉、发臭、
以致必须丢弃。。
你说值得吗？
到头来，
你还是饿着的。
因为你不屑只吃丸子；
因为你害怕负担不起牛排。
你说，可不可笑？
凡事都有个起步，
不要害怕有梦想。
再跟你分享我曾访问的嘉宾，
所说过的一些睿智想法。
新传媒综艺节目制作部的执行总监制`林培琴`，
曾是我十几年的顶头上司。
有次我代表 Bella 做一个关于`女人与梦想`的 feature，
她对我说了以下的话（大意）。
=================
不要害怕有梦想。
但要把梦想阶段化。
把一个大梦想分段成数个小梦想，
一段段慢慢去实现它。
有时你会发现前路实在行不通，
没关系，把那份梦想暂时收在抽屉里。
继续去为其它小梦想努力，
在你不经意的时候，
抽屉里的梦想可能已经慢慢发芽。
===================
我蛮喜欢这篇访问，
总共访了5位年龄各异的女性。
我把这份东西收在我另一个blog -
“假文人的过去式”，
有兴趣的话你可以去看看。
28岁还很年轻，
我访问的大堆成功人士中，
有百分之70是30岁后才开窍的。
也听过1003安娜的一个节目，
她访问的股票大王曾渊苍就说过，
40岁才来投资？一点都不迟。
别忘了前面的20年你都在成长、在求学问，
再来的10年，却是让你开始溶浸在这个社会。
因此40岁者真正`浪费`的，也只是最后那十年而已。。
后面好玩的路，还长着呢~
鼓励的话我想大把人可以跟你讲。
但那些话语会否成真，
却只能靠你自己。
不要自卑，也别自大，
多给自己一个`了解自己`的机会。
然后才来决定，
该怎么对自己施压。
人生这条路，
终究会是好玩的。
只要你愿意。
加油咯！
何聲蕙
on November 21st, 2007 at 7:36 pm
Dear Depressed，
Sorry I missed the message you posted earlier on.
When I said `走出心防`, it meant exactly not to guard. Why guard? Because you anticipated to be `hurt`?
True friendship comes most naturely. No planting require, no brain-cracking needed to decide, who is that one special person.
When its time for that person to make his appearance, he will.
For all the rest whom you need to break your heart, pour your blood to impress, they are none but passerby.
Dont think too `hard`, you may have just scare away a potential friend.
If befriending someone means we need to sign a bond that we will forever be there, you will need more than 24 hours a day.
Relax, enjoy the breeze. and then, you may just love this world better.
cheers~
ps: Yes, I meant it when i talk about the organ donation. However I am glad not many people make it to my top list, good for me
on November 22nd, 2007 at 4:00 am
Hi Henrik
Fast to listen, slow to anger.
Find out the root cause of those certain issues which caused the quarrels. Eg. misunderstanding, impatience, disapproval, rejection etc.
Fast to listen, slow to anger.
When you said that you’re bad temper actually you’re not a bad person, you realised your weakness and strong enough to acknowledge it.
Fast to listen, slow to anger.
Parents tend to treat their children as little ones though they’ve already grown up! Many times not realising that you’ve grown into a teenager who’re moving towards young adult and will be entering adulthood.
I’ve three children, two teenagers and a little ones.
One teenager – boy
One teenager – girl
I’ve good and difficult times when bringing them up,
I’ve good and difficult talks when bringing certain issues up.
In pain and tears, we’ve learnt to
FAST TO LISTEN, SLOW TO ANGER
May I suggest to you
FAST TO LISTEN, SLOW TO ANGER
I know it’s difficult but I belived you’ll try because you take effort to seek advice and help from others and this shows that you love your parent. Give yourself and your parents grace to improve the bonding. I belived that you’re a good child who’ll make the first move to
FAST TO LISTEN, SLOW IN ANGER means
You can fast to listen but slow to react to words you’ve listened. Be careful to words you used may cause self destruction – resentment, bitterness, wrong judgement, misunderstanding, unforgiveness etc. In a fix of anger, words can kill ones’ confidence, cause depression, sour relationship etc.
Your parents are blessed with a good child who wants to change, they’ll come to know it because you’ve taken the first step to
FAST TO LISTEN, SLOW IN ANGER
on November 22nd, 2007 at 4:16 am
Hi Depressed
Hoping to see you from Depressed to Delight soon! Most important is to trust yourself and be gentle to yourself too.
Btw, I also want to know the news about Bryan in wan bo. Hehe! Any news can share with me, I also kaypo.
on November 22nd, 2007 at 5:31 am
Hi Unhappy
I’m also at this season ‘resting’, take this opportunity to relax and be ready to start afresh in next season of life (making new friends).
I experienced all ‘good’ and ‘best’ friends left me after an incident happened to me. After much courage I opened myself to another group of ‘good’ and ‘trusted’ friends though they’re still with me but I’m facing trials for our relationship now (I’ve put too much trust in them). Though I’ve this group of friends but I chose to ‘rest’ most of the time. I do not know how others think, I enjoy ‘resting’ after all that I’ve experienced but that doesn’t mean I close my doors to others. It simply means that I preferred ‘resting’ than ‘outing’.
I cried my heart out when my friends left me in times that I need them most. I was really bitter towards them for forsaking me. Then I gave myself another chance by knowing another group of friends but … Now I looked back, through these incidents I actually learnt to trust and be gentle to myself. I really enjoyed the ‘resting’! It gives me time to know better about myself which I’ve missed in the past.
No one can really understand how other feel but we can offer our listening ears to them.
I need others’ listening ears because I’m still living in this world so it means I’m facing life problem – big and small!
Thank you for your listening ears. Unhappy.
Hope to see you happy while you’re ‘resting’. It’s not a bad thing to ‘rest’ , so have a break, have a happier time just you and yourself. You’ll realised that your strength will be renew each new day and you’re able to face ‘resting’ if it knocks at your door again because you’ve overcome it.
on November 22nd, 2007 at 9:15 am
Recently found out bf likes another gal very much. I discovered through his blog he has sacrificed a lot of things for her which he never treat me so good before. (like buying her expensive gifts when he’s poor & have no job, giving her a lot of attention) I know if I ask him to break contact with the other gal would be difficult. (Anyway if he secretly contact her again how would I know?) However he had said before that he treat me like a wife. How could he treat another gal so much better than his future wife???
I love him a lot..I know all along he wants a good wife so that’s why he choose me to be his gf.
What should I do here? Break up with him or close one eye here??
on November 22nd, 2007 at 10:38 am
Hi Bryan,
I’m in a stuck situation. I’m currently out of job. Have been to several interviews but
rejected some as they don’t pay to my expectation. Previously I was from a reputable co.
(media industry)but they didn’t pay well. I had worked there for 4 years and the pay
was still miserably under 2k. I felt there’s no growth for advancement. The more I
worked, the more demoralised I felt. Thus, taking the risk to quit without a job. I’m in
my late 20s now.
I’m quite in a dilemma. I went for an interview and got news from the job agency that
the co. was interested to see me for the next round of interview. It’s a mnc (advertising
company) but their pay is slightly less than 2K. I’m thinking if I should accept the job if
I’m offered. Jobscope wise…well, I’m scared that it would restrict my future job search.
My concern is, would you go for a leading company (in a specialised industry) that may
be restricted for future job search? Or go for a “not so well-known” company (in a
genenic industry) that ease future job search? I fear that history may repeat itself
again…
on November 22nd, 2007 at 10:42 am
Sorry, just to add on… let’s say if the “not so well-known” company is willing to pay higher
than the leading co. Which would you consider?
on November 22nd, 2007 at 12:13 pm
hello angel,
肥不是罪。 别感到难过。。。
我们只不过有点horizontally challenge吧了。。。
没什么滴。。。
我，肥妞从小就是个胖子，妈妈看了我二十多年，还不习惯我美丽的身躯。。well, too bad for her..
but我要说一句，胖没错不过记得要胖得健康！
eindy
on November 22nd, 2007 at 6:08 pm
Hi Bryan…
Well not sure hw to start but it seem tis would be a long long post as i gt lots of thing to tell…i m currently waiting for my n lvl de result and i kinda of unsure where i will be gg next yr as if i fail i wont be able to promote to sec 5 to continue my o lvl. however if i pass i may choose to move on to sec 5 or ite or higher nitec as the education policy has change so if i proceed on to higher nitec, i’ll had to study bout 1 or 2 yr den to poly…so nw i’m quite confuse nt sure where i should go when my result is out. i don’t wish to follow my bro footsteps letting my parent helping me choose a course which i eventually hated and escape frm skool however if i defy them, this might turn worst so i’m stuck in it.
Secondly, my parent r alwaes urging me to work . i dont really like tat as the previous times tat i went to get a job, all my salary are mostly given to them and hardly left much. they could nt provide wat i wan so i earn money to get wat i wan but ended up money all went to them for buying 4D, toto and cigarettes. i don understand y they could do tis to me. it wasnt fair. they don noe how to handle their expenditure well doesnt mean they could jus taken our money and dont return. they have veri traditional thinking when coming to discipline. i m already old enough but they still have so much rule to bar me. i don like it tat way but unfortunately no matter hw mani times we talk about it, its still the same and nth has been done to change the current situation. i’m really wondering if i should go to work and hw should i handle them when i get my salary. is there anyway that i could save my money and could help them too to hav some saving but also to clear all their gamble debts and house de financial problems.
Thirldly, i’m nt sure isit all ppl like to mix with high class or rich ppl? cox i’m frm a poor family so i hardly bought nice clothing nor i go to town area like orchard where mostly rich ppl would visit. so whenever I go out with them to those places, they would criticize me being so outdated and poor. I’m so hurt. And in class, mostly Chinese classmate does nt befriend me so I was so upset. Moreover when I wan to join campus superstar, I’m so worried that I due to my outdated fashion or nt being support by frenx therefore I dare nt join in the competition. It makes me seem like its so far to achieve the goal for being a singer or an mediacrop artist. Y r ppl easily affected by other view or should we move on to achieve wat we wan? Isit tat we must be rich and fashionable to be a popular singer or artist?
on November 23rd, 2007 at 12:53 am
A message for anorexia:
Dear friend,
first and foremost, i thank you for your trust ..The fact that you have been through all tat only prooves that you are strong and also the love you have for your family is the thing that kept you going on…Please do not give up even though you are at your wits end. You should know that by doing wat you have done for many times will only destroy you and your family..This is a serious matter, it is of a serious nature and i can only be a listening ear..in the meantime, perhaps you can update me on your status and perhaps do consider seeking some other professional help? Do take good care of yourself and try to get back to the days when you are well?
on November 23rd, 2007 at 1:07 am
dear uncertain,
i think you have to wait for your results to come out before you could do anything about it ya?secondly, you are still rather young, isn’t? life do get better as you grow older.because you slowly gain control of your life and make your dreams come true..If your parents really did wat you have written, then i guess thats not a very good example for the children.However, did you ever think that perhaps they are also very disappointed with their own lives and they are rather desperate too? If not, they would not have taken your hard earned money to buy 4d..I guess they are just seeking for a miracle to happen..that they are able to have a big strike and rescue themselves from their situation…as for the cigarettes, i guess it must be for the stress la…As for your last question, i am sorry to say hat not everyone around is really above being class conscious. There are indeed snobs in our society who feels that they are so much above other ppl just because they think they belong to the elite group of ppl who are more IMPORTANT then the rest perhaps based on what material and monetary possession they have.However, there are ppl out there who are very well provided for and yet, they are humble and nice and treat everyone as equals.So, don’t feel any smaller if you get snubbed by the snobs.instead, pity them for being so shallow and pity them for living in a world where they can only see themselves..wat a lonely existence!
on November 23rd, 2007 at 1:10 am
dear clover,
hmm.. quite a decision to make huh? For me, if i have to make a choice, i will take a chance with the less known co as i know that at least there is the opportunity to climb the ladder..however, you have to decide wat is good for yourself..most importantly you must be happy with your decision because it is only when you are happy that you will shine..
on November 23rd, 2007 at 2:39 am
Hi Sad Gal,
I think closing one eye does not solve the problem as for someone to maintain and sustain a lifelong relationship after marriage will mainly have to be built on trust. As you’ve already found out that the relationship is flawed given some of your bf’s actions towards this other girl, I believed you’ve to be ascertain that this other girl really exist before making any other guesses.
It will definitely be good to have a talk with your bf to let him know of your worries and reaffirm his feelings for you. Maybe its easier for me to say, but it’s only through communicating your feelings to him then you’ll be able to release yourself from all the doubts and suspicions you have. Give him a chance as he has the rights to know the things that are happening to you. And also, give him a chance to redeem himself and work out a better relationship with you.
However, everything has a flip side to it. If things go wrong, at least you get yourself the truth and are able to see this guy clearly before things got worst. Be brave! You’ve all the support from us!!!
Regards,
Peiying
on November 23rd, 2007 at 2:56 am
Dear minmin,
We all have our unhappy moments. And unfortunately, unhappy events like to appear one after another till our heart, sometimes are unsure if we are able to make it and go through the troughs in life. Everyone likes to say words of console like “守得云开见月明” or “船到桥头自然直” but somehow, it just wouldn’t get in our ears.
I won’t say that kinda things to you but you have to know, thoughts of commiting suicide are not something that will help solve your problem. It is just an action of running away from your problem. And pain will definitely not release you from the difficult position you are in.
What you really need is to cry it all out, ask a friend whom you trust out and tell him/her about your situation, find a space so that you can get a peace of mind for the time being. Let your mind take a rest from all the hectics of life before pondering over what is the next step to do. If you really do not know how to proceed on, it is best that you can find some professional help from counsellors. Do not try to end your life or cut your wrist just because of certain mishaps that occur.
Think about your family. Think about those who really care for you.
Take care.
Regards,
Peiying
on November 23rd, 2007 at 3:58 am
Hi bryan its mie again…
Upon reading ur reply, i felt relief and most probably it is like wat u hav said. My parents might be too stress and desperate therefore they are hoping for a miracle…I think i should talk to them more often to understand their problems as i had stop talking to them for quite some time and help them quit gambling although its been for years since they start gambling.
Finally, thanks for ur advice and thank you for being there to help me and all the ones who r trapped.
Wish you all e best in everything u do & simles alwaes… =)
on November 23rd, 2007 at 9:46 am
Hi minmin,
Are you having this thought of committing sucide? Think of ppl you love or you can’t bear to part with. If say you “thought” there isn’t any1 then think of things that you can’t bear to part with whenever the thought of suicide appears, THINK OF ANOTHER THING/PERSON THAT YOU CAN’T BEAR TO PART OR THINGS THAT YOU HAVEN’T FULFILLED!!! THINK OF HOW YOU WILL FEEL IF YOU ARE “IN THE MIDST” OF COMMITING SUICIDE AND AT THAT MOMENT, YOU R E G R E T!!!!! HOW?????
PLS REMEMBER, DEATH AND LIFE IS JUST A VERY VERY THIN LINE BORDER.
I AM IN DEPRESSION MYSELF, BUT NOW I DON’T HAVE THIS SUICIDE THOUGHT ALREADY. BUT I KNOW THE TYPE OF FEELING WHEN ONE IS FEELING VERY VERY SAD,DEPRESSED, ESPECIALLY WHEN NOONE IS WILLING TO “HELP,LISTEN”!!!
Minmin, I AM SURE HOPE,PIGCAHONTAS, BRYAN, AND ALL OTHERS , INCLUDING ME, ARE WILLING TO LISTEN AND HELP!!! Frankly speaking, THEY, ESPECIALLY HOPE HELP ME A LOT!!! I HOPE YOU WILL BE ABLE TO GET BETTER AS TIME PASS!!! I AM STILL T R A P P E D BUT I W A N T TO BE F R E E D!!! I AM SURE YOU WANT TOO!!!!
Though I don’t know what’s the exact emotional thing, but I KNOW THAT it can be very depressing!! I HAVE BEEN THROUGH AND STILL TRYING VERY VERY HARD NOT TO!!! YES! ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE IS NOONE TO CONFIDE WITH!!! If you have read my posts, you will know that I ALSO, BUT MINE IS WORST BECAUSE “BEST”FRIENDS USED TO ASK ME TO GO TO THEM FOR LISTENING EARS BUT…..SO IS LIKE DOUBLE HURT AND WHEN THAT HAPPEN AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN, IS REALLY VERY VERY DEPRESSING AND HURT!!!! So NOW, I heed HOPE AND PIGCHONTAS advises and READJUST MY THOUGHTS. DON’T WORRY, JUST TYPE WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CONFIDE HERE AND MANY OF US WILL LISTEN!!!!
YES!! IS TERRIBLE TO HIDE OUR DEPRESSING FEELING , I AM ALSO LIKE THAT, SO I REALLY UNDERSTAND HOW YOU ARE FEELING!!! But I THINK BRYAN AND OTHER CELEBRITIES ARE EVEN “WORST” THAN US BECAUSE THEY ARE “PUBLIC” FIGURE, SO MAYBE BRYAN WILL BE ABLE TO SHARE MORE ABOUT THIS!!
PLEASE TRY THE WAYS THAT I HAVE SUGGESTED ABOUT N O T commiting suicide, ok? Maybe you type out the “answers” that i have asked in the FIRST paragraph. That will reinforce your thinking and “HELPS” WHEN You have that thought of suicide.
MEANWHILE, REMEMBER YOU STILL HAVE THIS CHANNEL OF HELP!!! Read through the posts that HOPE AND PIGCHONTAS GAVE ME IN under the main post of BRYAN IS T R A P P E D and here. YOU ARE NOT ALONE AT ALL BECAUSE AT LEAST A FEW OF US WERE AND IS STILL TRAPPED like you….AT LEAST YOU AND ME WILLING TO TYPE AND THERE ARE MANY MANY WHO REALY “KEPT” TO THEMSELVES, RIGHT?
on November 23rd, 2007 at 10:19 am
Thank you 馬玨俐 for your reply.
Thank you JL.
Hi HOPE!!! THANK YOU AND i will TRY to be gentle to myself(i will TRY HARD NOT TO BLAME MYSELF FOR EVERYTHING ESPECIALLY THOSE THAT ARE NOT MY FAULT!!)
I read your post to Unhappy and i REALLY THINK YOU ARE VERY PATIENT AND YOU REALLY REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU UNDERWENT AND ABLE TO HELP. YOU ARE REALLY A VERY PATIENT AND UNDERSTANDING PERSON!!!THANKS A LOT!!!!!!!
I AGREE WITH WHAT YOU SAID in your post to Unhappy AND I think many of the things and experiences are very similar to mine!!!! (though some differ a bit)
HOPE ALL OF US CAN BE “F R E E D” SOON!!!
on November 23rd, 2007 at 5:18 pm
A person feel trapped because they are not able to walk out of situtation. But why is it so? human are alwaya vexed with money love. when you hold on to something, you miss out a lot more. 放手才会的到更多maybe when you put yourself at an different angle. life is not that bad! cheer every1
on November 23rd, 2007 at 11:43 pm
Hi bryan,
It’s great to have this little corner to hare our troubles here. Get to learn something from each other.
Jia you!
on November 23rd, 2007 at 11:46 pm
Jas reply Ter,
It is easy to be said than done. Not everything can be let go so easily. If can, we are not call as human. I always feel that, it is easy to be sad than be happy. Don’t you think so?
on November 24th, 2007 at 12:33 am
perhaps.. Perhap oneday, i might be able to accept.. but till now, i think i lack of the courage because that event really left a big impact on me which i dare not face up to and being tyring to run away. is tiring! but sometime when i wanted to face it, i changed my mind again.. well.. hope for the best. sometime i was wondering is that really a thing called brainwash? if there is, how i wish i can go through that machine and the next moment, i can forget about everything that happened to me which leave me a big impact.
on November 24th, 2007 at 4:31 pm
i’m so headache..
i dont know wat my career path..
juz got a contract for a job for one yr..
bt nt sure after one yr what will i do..
help me..~
on November 24th, 2007 at 6:36 pm
but that often used only when we feel sad to 安慰ourself
on November 24th, 2007 at 10:35 pm
hey drmzer,
very vague wor my friend..perhaps more detail from you before we can even start suggesting some options..
on November 25th, 2007 at 9:30 am
well,me and one of my friend(known as X) is helping to give flyers as a holiday job.There is one time,my friend and her friend(know as A).Two of them should work for two hours.But,in one hours time,X has finished giving out the stack of flyers that was given to her.But A still got quite alot.So A threw away the flyers,and both of the went to play computer for one hour.They took two hours pay from the boss and i knew about this.should i tell the boss about this or keep quiet?It is because the boss did give us pay for the job.And she should not lie to the boss.S0 what should i do..?
on November 25th, 2007 at 11:55 am
Thank you Peiying for your reply & support!
on November 25th, 2007 at 11:59 pm
Hi Bryan
I am really like your design in the Home Deco series. I really find that you are really talented.
I have a slight problem. I just got a new flat and i practically have no idea on how to make it into a nice cosy home that i yearn to return to after a hard day work.
If there is any chance you can help me with that?
Thanks!!
on November 26th, 2007 at 12:26 am
好不容易，我的心平静，从新接受朋友之间发生的事情时，突如其来， 住在一起 的朋友竟然说要搬了。原本说好再找地方一起搬，不过今天却在其中一个朋友与朋友的谈话中听见这个消息，说，他们已经另找到住的地方，而名额中没有我； 我竟然是最后一个才知道。 他们给我的理由是， 我没有和他们同一个环境学习，住在一起不是很方便； 而且和有在同一个环境学习的人住在一起可以借力量有助于他们事业的发展，也根本没有提起我的事。
我当时真的很生气，为什么这样的消息我却在朋友之间聊天的时候才知道。。他们是知道的 我在这里没几个朋友。。。我不是要依赖他们，而是需要朋友偶尔的嘘寒问暖罢了。
有时候觉得自己很苯，往往事情的发生，我都是最后一个才知道。
我想大声哭出来，但是我知道我不可以；
我会生气，我会难过，我会伤心； 最后，我会接受。
我不相信，没有他们我的生活会有涟漪。
Bryan, 最近找房子很的很难， 我真的不知道我会跟怎样的人住在一起，
老实说， 有点恐惧。
on November 26th, 2007 at 9:55 am
Hi l0st:s,
Actually is very simple. Ask yourself WHY do you want to tell the boss? WHAT IS THE CONSEQUENCES? WHAT GOOD will that do to you and your friends?
I UNDERSTAND that is because you feel they are WRONG, SHOULDN’T “cheat”. For me, I will rather talk (but not reprimand) to friend about that instead of to the boss. If that friend refuse to change or feel is not wrong, then I will just do my work and leave that matter.
on November 26th, 2007 at 10:16 am
Hi Rainee,
我非常了解你的心情和感受!! 我也跟你一样，心情好不容易平静又再。。。
除了她们，你可以问问你的同事，让她们帮帮结束，或你在这里贴你租房子的条件，看看大家可不可以帮你。也可以找房屋经纪(可能就需要还经纪费，对吗?)
我也和你一样，但是对朋友这样会伤心，难过，因为有付出真心对她们? 我现在慢慢学习，每次告诉自己不要再轻易去相信，感动，心软，也不要”期望”对方和我们一样会付出真心，对我们真心(可是到现在还是做不到!!! 还是会这样，明知我又会”受伤”，伤心!!!)。 我也告诉自己如果一而再她们都不让我知道，我会一直跟自己，算了!!(但是心里会难过!!!)，我也不会去问，因为等我问得话，我觉得太”没意思”了(除非她们是忘了跟你讲)。可是至少她们骗你，可能只是她们比较现实，只想跟对自己有益的人一起。但是可能下一个房客会更好呢?
on November 26th, 2007 at 10:20 am
Hi Rainee,
我非常了解你的心情和感受!! 我也跟你一样，心情好不容易平静又再。。。
除了她们，你可以问问你的同事，让她们帮帮结束，或你在这里贴你租房子的条件，看看大家可不可以帮你。也可以找房屋经纪(可能就需要还经纪费，对吗?)
我也和你一样，但是对朋友这样会伤心，难过，因为有付出真心对她们? 我现在慢慢学习，每次告诉自己不要再轻易去相信，感动，心软，也不要”期望”对方和我们一样会付出真心，对我们真心(可是到现在还是做不到!!! 还是会这样，明知我又会”受伤”，伤心!!!)。 我也告诉自己如果一而再她们都不让我知道，我会一直跟自己讲算了!!(但是心里会难过!!!)，我也不会去问，因为等我问得话，我觉得太”没意思”了(除非她们是忘了跟你讲)。可是至少她们骗你，可能只是她们比较现实，只想跟对自己有益的人一起。但是可能下一个房客会更好呢?
on November 26th, 2007 at 1:45 pm
Hi Bryan and all. I am still waiting for my bf to sort out the issue with the girl. Lately we are happier. But, I will think once in a while what he and the other girl did. I know I know present is certainly more impt than past. But it’s so hard to shake off these memorise. Recently I found out my bf went overseas twice with this girl during their 1yr+ relation. For me, 5yr.. we only went to Msia this year. Sad. I spot checked my bf hp. And realise my bf only msg her twice during 3 days. The contents suggest no more than friendship. It’s so hard to fully trust him and I don’t really like the current me for not fully trusting him.
on November 26th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
Also, sorry people. I forgot to post this most impt to the male readers here. If you really love a girl, will you bring the girl to hotel and have s*x for a few hours? He did it often with the girl. For me, we have nvr checked into a hotel for a few hours. If there is, it will always be special celebration like birthdays, Xmas, Anniversaries. He suggested to me b4 to check in for a few hours, but I always refuse. Somehow I know he really love me and is willing to ‘wait’ for me. But why exactly he will betray me.. Haiz..
on November 26th, 2007 at 9:44 pm
Hi Unhappy
They’re wrong to treat you in that way, heed my advice do not be harsh on yourself, you’re not in the wrong to deserve it. I’m concern about the well being of your soul and body. Pls. take extra care of your mind, do not overwork it. By over working it (dwelling in that event) will affect your mental health. I know it’s not easy to let go (I’m still in the process of it myself) but we can choose to do it. It’ll not just disappear overnight but it’ll fade as day goes by.
Wounds healed.
Scars remained.
Can’t feel pain but
heart still pain
Wounds healed.
Scars remained.
Heart at peace but
mind no rest.
Wounds healed.
Scars remained.
Mind needs rest.
So take care.
That perhaps, perhap one day, I might be able to accept will sure to come. Together we move forward thought we do not know each other. I know of a machine named TIME, let go through it together and leave that impact behind us!
on November 27th, 2007 at 12:22 am
Hey Sad Gerl,
I know this may really be hard for you. It is the transition period. No one can fully pick up his or her trust after being betrayed once. You need a process. And for this process to happen, you must firstly ask yourself if you really want it.
From your post, I can feel that there’s still love in you for him. If you are not willing to let this go, and he has already try to put things right again, the only thing you can do is to think POSITIVE. Since you’ve already decided to give him another chance, it will not do you any good to keep on brooding over the past and starts checking his sms-es or find out what has happened between the 2 of them.
I am not a guy hence I do not know how the hotel incident could be explained. However, bear in mind that it’s because he respected you and cherished the moments with you which is why he managed to hold it back when you refused.
No one can help you when your mind starts thinking of the negatives. Like I’ve said earlier, it may be easy for me to pinpoint to you an objective view of the incident (for those you’ve mentioned in ya post) given a third party perspective, it is still up to the individual to change his/her world to make things happen! If you have the determination to make things work, try not to check his sms-es in private, ask him in person about the things you’re in doubt.
Be truthful to him. Be truthful to yourself. The last thing you wish to happen is him finding out that you’ve lost trust in him and whatever things he did is of no use to bring back the trust he has lost from you.
Hope it helps..
Take care and Regards,
Peiying
on November 27th, 2007 at 12:26 am
erm to depressed and peiying,
thks for replying on my comments which i thought it will be ignored after days without any replies..i juz managed to get online n happen to see ur replies..
unfortunately, i’m kinda busy these days as i’m down with working.. so i guess i wont have much time to come online as well..
to peiying,
hmm, e methods u have listed down i’ve all tried be4 and none works.. mainly becoz i realli have no friends to talk to at all.. of coz i do know commtting sucide is juz an action of coward tat doesnt wanna face e reality.. but i’m realli.. dunno wad to do now..
to depressed,
it took courage for one to admit his/her guilt n it also does take a lot of courage to commit sucide.. i believe u know how does it feel like being at e line of death n alive ba.. well, honestly speaking, tat’s nth i yet to do n there isnt anyone (including my family) tat i will miss abt.. n i guess i wont be much regret if i juz end my life like tat.. as u mentioned u knew e feeling of trapping ur emotion deep within urself, n how friends could actually deeply hurt us.. futhermore, e amt of workload i have to handle now is twice with 2 part time jobs.. it’s realli tired mi further tat i realli dun feel like living.. in few hours time i have to go work again when i juz came back home at tis hour..
nevertheless, i’m still gald tat both of u take notice of my signal for help n i realli appreciated it a lot.. thks..
on November 27th, 2007 at 1:39 am
Hi S@d G3r,
Hmm… when you are dating with someone you love, the most important things is ‘trust’ in relationship. But once there are no ‘trust’ in each other or particular one without ‘trust’ is rather hard to carry on with it! To what i have read, i found that there’s no way to carry on in this relationship when you know that your bf is having something with a girl! I know is not easy to give up on a relation easily but may i suggest you to rethink about it? because i don’t think there’s any room for you all to build more relation in it. You know very clearly that your bf is betraying this relation but you seem hoping to cling on this relationship!
But can i ask you a question? How long are you going to cling on? Or how much can you ‘trust’ your bf now? If a relation goes on without ‘trust’ and only doubt, this relation is really rather hard to work out unless you really don’t mind your bf is another girl? But as a girl, who won’t mind it?
Hmmm… how about giving yourself sometimes? think carefully and throughoutly if your bf is really the one that worth your love? don’t have to force yourself for an answer but you have to know what is really important to you? Yup… it might be hurt but you have to find an answer which only you can find it.
on November 27th, 2007 at 9:00 am
Hi Star
I have spent long hours writing to you, yet I deleted it by accident! But I belived there is no accident, so I summarize them:
Many times we cannot control or change things that happened to us and we felt helplessness in those situations.
1.) Knowing that it’s really hard on you when your parents quarrel.
2.) Knowing that it’s really hard on your Dad to be the sole-bread winner especially
when he can’t cope.
3.) You experienced that sense of helplessness while your parents quarrel though it’s
different issue hope you could understand that your Dad too felt helplessness, facing
financial difficulties.
1.) Keeping silence,
2.) Keeping yourself in your room,
3.) Both do good to all parties.
1.) Taking a deep breath to calm down yourself,
2.) Crying is another way to release yourself.
3.) Waiting with patience and love for your parents to reconcile.
1.) Knowing that no ones comes to this world by chance.
2.) Knowing that you’re here with a purpose,
3.) You knew that you played an important role in your family.
* Please forgive your Mum for saying those hurting words to you.
1.) Keeping up with little effort to help out with simple chores
2.) Keeping up with little effort to make slighest changes on your attiude,
3.) Both will warmth and cheer your Mum’s heart.
* May be she’ll still nag and disbelief, nevertheless keep up with your good work.
Every small effort creates BIG effect! Works on the relationship between yourself
and both of your parents, remember that you’re the light(purpose) in this family.
After all these little, little efforts you made you’ll see changes day by day. So be the
one to take the first move!
Knowing that you’ve a purpose in life, you’ve to be confident of success (all areas- not only wealth but* health{mental/physical} most important of all*) in life. (No more feeling inferior)
Knowing that you’re young, you have a bright future ahead. (No comparison in appearance and studies – when you’re confident you’re like bright morning star among others (appearance), when you’re confident you’ll excel in your studies especially in those gifted areas (eg. certain subjects, skills, talents etc.).
Be patient, gentle to yourself. Learn to accept yourself before you can relate well with others. Begin your day with a broad smile, practice before your mirror every morning and you’ll find the beauty of yourself in due course. How I wish I’m as young as you! Enjoy your youth day, work with careful plan for your future is the most important issue that you need to pay attention. It’s maybe too difficult for you to comprehend the adulthood/parenthood but it’s easier just to be YOURSELF! So just be yourself and be at ease with yourself. Situations are the potter, you’re the clay, you’ll be mould to be an expensive piece. Keep in touch!
on November 27th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
Dear minmin,
Maybe you may think that no one here can understand what you’re going through but I am sure that the things occur to you may and can happen to anyone of us here. Depressed is one of them. And me, I too have been through times when I was really disappointed in this word called friends. But that doesn’t mean it is end of the world. Maybe it was in my inert character.. Things happened.. I felt sad too.. I’ll try to disappear from everyone.. Go back home with a smile to hide away all the tears.. Yet.. I know deep down inside, I do not and will not want myself to be depressed forever. No one wants it. Hence, for you and Depressed.. You all have to learn to give yourself a timeframe to be sad and depressed. Get disappointed, angry, frustrated about life to whatever extent you want during this period, but after that.. life still go on, pick yourself up!
It is really of no use to say if your problem is more intense more difficult to resolve than mine or anyone else here. We all are brought up in different ways and our ability to cope with different problems may be different. Hence, a small problem of yours may be a big one for mine. Nothing couldn’t be resolved.. Think of the poor families and elderlies featured in the charity shows.. How they actually have to live their life so as to take care of their love ones even though they are mostly sick and many a times have difficulties moving around. Most of the time, our problems seem so much more smaller than theirs. *tears*
I don’t mean to compare to them to make us feel that the world is so much better. But if they can do it, face the challenges in life, why can’t we? The fact that you actually bother to smile in front of your family is because you don’t want them to worry about you. That shows that you loved them. I’d like you to understand, how much it will hurt them if they know that their “cheerful” girl suddenly went missing or dead when all along they think that you are fine and they just cannot do anything to help when everything just ended without any warning. It is a selfish thought! You could have use your life to do every other meaningful things to help others, be it giving another dollar coin to the tissue aunty.
Think about it seriously. I know you dread about life. Unhappy stuffs keep on happening and you are really tired due to the work and stuff. But there is definitely something in life you can look forward to. Even if there isn’t, create one. I liked something that bryan said some time ago, as we grow older, we slowly get in control. Though we can’t predict the unforeseen events in life, we will and should slowly be in control of our emotions, our thoughts, our responsibilities, our directions, our dreams and the reality in life. I assure you if you are able to tide through this difficult period, nothing else in the future can bring you down that easily anymore.
Hope this message will really get to you. Stay strong minmin and the others..
Take care and Regards,
Peiying
on November 27th, 2007 at 5:10 pm
hi…im a 15 years old malaysian gal..im trapped in myself..im stuck with bunch of problems..friends especially..ima very paranoid person…i always feels tat my frens will leave me anytime..i always afraid tat i might do or say something wrong tat hurts my fren without me realisin it..cuz..my frens ignored me once..phobia i guess..how to make myself more likeable??i really cant live without frens..i need a true fren..but its hard to find..
and….to tel u something truthfully..i went into a relationship before.i know i shouldnt..but,im curious to try..in the end..i fell deeply into it..but we broke up after one year..i still miss him now..wat shud i do???
STUDIES>..is wat i need to focus on now..my public exam’s results is coming out..im WORRIED..wat if i dont get straight A’s??i might die u know..:’(..
my piano competition is comin…but im really worry bout it..im a person tat very lack of confidence..i always look down on myself no matter in appearance or ability..i care about my appearance a lot..but im not really good lookin..can u pls help me with all my problems??PLEASE DO HELP ME!!!thanks..n i like to see u on tv a lot..u’re cute…
on November 27th, 2007 at 7:49 pm
Hi Peiying,
What you said is true. However right now, I am being HURT AND IN DEPRESSION AGAIN!!!! I feel that I am going to be mad because I am being lied again and again and whenever i wanted to ask and clarify, i will be reprimand for being sensitive, why i want to ask things that alrady happened!!!! BUT the problem is WHY CAN’T I ASK AND CLARIFY, is it true that I SHOULDN’T ASK???? I know what’s bygone is bygone but there are so many questions/DOUBTS which I already tried to LET GO BUT YET LIES FROM THE SAME PERSON AGAIN AND AGAIN (NOT THAT I AM SENSITIVE BUT ARE TRUE, JUST THAT I WANT TO GIVE THAT PERSON CHANCE TO TELL ME THE TRUTH1!! BUT EVERY TIME I GOT REPRIMAND SERIOUSLY EVEN IF IS ACTUALLY THAT PERSON’S FAULT AND NOT MINE!!!)
I tried the methods Pigcahontas,HOPE,etc said…DONT’ HAVE EXPECTATIONS FROM OTHERS, ETC, BUT REALLY NONE WORKS!!!! (JUST LIKE WHAT BRYAN SAID PREVIOUSLY THAT ALL THE METHODS DIDN’T WORK FOR HIM!!!)
I AM AT A LOSS!!! I KNOW I SHOULD HELP MYSELF OR SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP BUT….KNOW SHOULD HAVE “BUTS” …
ANYWAY, JUST WANT TO “VENT” OUT HERE BECAUSE NOONE WILL BOTHER TO LISTEN…
SORRY and THANKS BRYAN AGAIN FOR HAVING THIS BLOG FOR US TO “VENT”
on November 27th, 2007 at 9:41 pm
Hi minmin
Fight the good fight, had a good fight against any situation that is against you!
Don’t give up! Don’t give up!
While I’m cheering you up, I’m cheering myself up too!
No comparison, lets cry together!
Tears for you, tears for me,
After all these, we rise together!
Husband’s mistake caused my misery.
No turning back, no turning back
I could only move forward.
If not for others, but at least for myself,
I want to live! To live is too good!
Cheering for you, cheering for me1
Though struggles break ours hearts into pieces,
Though when our pathways grow dim
Remember we are never left alone
minmin, waiting for your reply.
on November 27th, 2007 at 11:45 pm
depressed,
我交朋友都是诚心诚意的，我不喜欢不真诚的朋友，因为我不是一个会出卖朋友的人。 所以呀，我很羡慕别人有 “死党”。 而我是很小心的人，只要被伤害过，就会有疤痕。 我会记住每一个对我有恩的朋友，同时也会记住对我不好的朋友，我很记仇的。。。 很坏巴，因为我不想重复被伤害，也不想在同样的地方再跌倒。
我目前是要找三巴旺、义顺一带的房间，可以帮帮忙，留意吗？ 预期是二月尾。我听说房租都要$300左右，好贵哦！麻烦大家，也谢谢大家了！ 不然找房屋经纪，就得还房屋经纪费了，听说要还一个月的房租给房屋经纪呢。。
on November 28th, 2007 at 11:47 am
below is an entry written by 黄明德 (the social worker in 人人爱理、有话就说) in his blog:
http://blog.omy.sg/mingde/2007/11/21/%e5%8f%8a%e6%97%b6%e7%9a%84%e6%95%91%e7%94%9f%e5%9c%88%e3%80%80/
21 November
2007
及时的救生圈
那天早上有记者朋友打电话来， 说是要询问我有关王禄江辅导想自杀少女的意见， 我当时正在开会， 没有办法接受访问． 后来在 OMY 网上看到了有关新闻：
http://www.omy.sg/showbiz/enews/200711/20071119_005_bryan.html
我的 immediate response 是： 禄江， 好样的！ Well Done Bryan !
记得大学上中文课时, 有一天王润华老师神情哀伤的走进讲堂, 他说我们一位学长自杀了。这位学兄在当时可算是颇有名气的文人； 我们自然对他的自杀感到惊讶和惋惜。王博士还对我们说，他在一天前曾单独和这位同学见面，当时并没有觉察他有任何异样。他语带自责地说，“如果我当时知道他的状况，就会及时开导他，可能就可以避免悲剧的发生。”
有一位辅导个案对我说她的遭遇：“我当时万念俱灰，脑子一片空白，一步一步往组屋的楼梯向上爬。。。也不知爬到几层楼了，只知道很高很高。。。 我走向围栏，往下看，‘可以了，跳下去就一了百了了。。’。。。 就在我把脚跟提起的时候，我听到一个熟悉的声音- “傻孩子，我们怎么苦也会熬过去，会好起来的。。” 原来那是我外婆的声音，这是外婆在我们小时候很穷的时候常对我说的一句话。 就是这句话，把我从寻死的边缘拉回来。”
“一句好听的话就好像金苹果掉在银网子里。” 这是圣经的比喻。
而我觉得 — “一句在对的时间说对的话，就好象一个及时的救生圈，是可以救命的．”
禄江做的，是及时抛下的救生圈．
救命， 无所谓专业不专业．
well done bryan, and all u guys who have the heart and patience to share ur advice and thoughts with those who need a bit of help and attention
on November 28th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
HI,Bryan…I Have been troubled by the comments left in my blog tagboard…It semms that a gal/boy hate me a lot….I dont noe who is she/he but the person left lots and lots rude comments about me…U could go to my blog and have a look of what that person writes..but i deleted most of the comments…Can u help me to think of a way to stop the person from doing so as i do not wish that my blog become a place 4 paeon to scold me….
on November 28th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Uncle Bryan….
I need help. You see, I have feelings 4 this girl… She’s 12 and I’m 19 (currently in NS) That is the problem… is she too young for me? Thanks for thaking your time to answer my question…
Cool Kev
on November 28th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
hi bryan,
i`m a 17 yr old gal who loves my life alot.
I have great frens and a GREAT family whom i realli love.
However, i`ve been down lately as my best fren has been treatin me quite coldly.
i realli dunno exactly how he feels and it hurts.
the truth is dat me and this guy hab been close frens fer bout 3 yrs or so.
he used to like me since way back in sec 3, but i could not return my feeling back as i had a boi fren den.
Recently, we hab been keepin in contact.and i realised tat i like him now.
i`m not sure if its jus infatuation of love.
sigh. but all i noe is dat we deeply care fer each other.
we`ve been through much throughout this 3 yrs to get where we are now.
he has told my close relative dat he loves me eventhough we are just frens now.
and i`m close to his mum to, and even visited her when she was sick.
we seem to get along well.
and eventhough she used to dislike me,
my best fren has told me tat she likes me now.
plus,
he has made many promises upon god`s name.
and cause of tat,i trust him.
but..
he`s been kind of not been callin me lately.
and i jus dunno how he feels animore.
his frens and my frens hab said dat i deserve betta.but do i?
or is dis all jus karma?
pls advice me on wat to do.
thanks.
on November 28th, 2007 at 5:28 pm
well, i mean.. can i help out in bai jia le for free?? maybe i can help li teng also =D
on November 28th, 2007 at 5:36 pm
Hi Hope!
Gosh!i checked back tyme and tyme again and finally someone replied me.HOPE i can’t thank you enough for the advice you given.After i read it, i felt so much better.Hope all this small changes can really create big affects.You gave me a hope i never had thought before.lols.I really don’t know what to say.So once again, a BIG thank you to you!May God bless you & take care!Smile always!Stay in touch!:DD
on November 28th, 2007 at 5:46 pm
Dear Bryan,
I’m always impressed by your artpiece. You always stunned me with your creative and pretty creation. I really like your “buddha” it’s so nice.. How i wish in future when i got my house i can create such a nice wall art.. You are really good.. Hope you have a good week ahead.
on November 28th, 2007 at 6:56 pm
Hi HOPE!!!!
I THINK WE ARE REALLY VERY VERY SIMILAR!!! I CAN’T DISCLOSE HERE, AND RIGHT NOW I REALLY HAVE NOONE TO LISTEN AND TRUST!!!!!
I CLIMBED UP 1 CM BUT NOW DOWN 10CM!!!!!!
LIKE YOU, I FEEL “STRENGTHLESS” TO EXPLAIN TO “THAT PERSON” (THOUGH I FEEL VERY VERY HURT AND SAD WITHIN BECAUSE I CAN’T LET GO AND COULDN’T BEAR TO DISCLOSE BECAUSE THAT WILL CAUSE HARM TO “THAT PERSON” AND NOT ME!!!! BUT I GOT NOONE TO TELL AND TRUST AND SO THE HARM CONTINUES TO DO TO ME INSTEAD!!!! I REALLY FEEL VERY VERY …..DON’T KNOW HOW TO DESCRIBE!!!). LIKE WHAT YOU SAID “I DO NOT WANT TO LISTEN TO LIES!!!!!!!”
NOT BECAUSE OF “BEST FRIENDS”, ANOTHER CAUSE OF MY DEPRESSION(NOT JUST DEPRESSION!!!!) IS “THAT PERSON”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOPE, I AM REALLY MOST WILLING TO LISTEN TO YOU!!!!!!
I HOPE TO RISE TOO !!!!!
on November 28th, 2007 at 7:00 pm
Hi MinMin,
sorry i really got “no strength” to type chinese…really very very depressed but still wish to tell you that just liek you”我交朋友都是诚心诚意的，我不喜欢不真诚的朋友，因为我不是一个会出卖朋友的人。 ” but i am “stupid” because i never learnt my lesson, at least you remember those bad and will not repeat!!
i think we all will let you know (here) when there is any news about the house rental. Don’t worry, still a few mths to go….
take care!
on November 28th, 2007 at 7:03 pm
Hi HOPE!!!!
I THINK WE ARE REALLY VERY VERY SIMILAR!!! I CAN’T DISCLOSE HERE, AND RIGHT NOW I REALLY HAVE NOONE TO LISTEN AND TRUST!!!!!
I CLIMBED UP 1 CM BUT NOW DOWN 10CM!!!!!!
LIKE YOU, I FEEL “STRENGTHLESS” TO EXPLAIN TO “THAT PERSON” (THOUGH I FEEL VERY VERY HURT AND SAD WITHIN BECAUSE I CAN’T LET GO AND COULDN’T BEAR TO DISCLOSE BECAUSE THAT WILL CAUSE HARM TO “THAT PERSON” AND NOT ME!!!! BUT I GOT NOONE TO TELL AND TRUST AND SO THE HARM CONTINUES TO DO TO ME INSTEAD!!!! I REALLY FEEL VERY VERY …..DON’T KNOW HOW TO DESCRIBE!!!). LIKE WHAT YOU SAID “I DO NOT WANT TO LISTEN TO LIES!!!!!!!”
NOT JUST BECAUSE OF “BEST FRIENDS”, ANOTHER CAUSE OF MY DEPRESSION(NOT JUST DEPRESSION!!!!) IS “THAT PERSON”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOPE, I AM REALLY MOST WILLING TO LISTEN TO YOU!!!!!!
I HOPE TO RISE TOO !!!!!
on November 28th, 2007 at 7:27 pm
CAN ANYONE TELL ME IF THERE IS REALLY A PERSON WHO CAN BE THOSE “DEVIL” PROTRAY IN DRAMA???!!!!! I REALLY REALLY FIND IT VERY VERY HARD TO ACCEPT THAT A PERSON CAN BE THAT “EVIL AND SHREWD” AND SEEM LIKE EVERY MOVE IS PLANNED!!!!! WIN MY TRUST YET …..!!!!!! I REALLY REALLY CAN’T ACCEPT AND BELIEVE A PERSON I TRUSTED AND …. CAN BE LIKE THAT!!! (JUST LIKE A INNOCENT GIRL WHO IS “PLAYED” BY A PLAYBOY!!! I JUST CAN’T BELIEVE THAT A “ANGEL ACT AND LOOK GUY CAN BE A “DEVIL IN DISGUISE!!!!!!)BTW, MY CASE IS NOT REALLY ABOUT BGR. IS THE JIANG1 HU2 REALLY THAT SCARY!!!???!!! WHO TO TRUST??!!??!?
PLS DON’T SAY IS BECAUSE OF WHAT I PERCEIVE OR THAT ACTUALLY REFLECT MY THOUGHTS,ETC….BECAUSE IS REALLY FACT AND EVIDENCES PROVED AND ARE NOT LIKE THOSE WORDS THAT PPL USED TO TELL ONE WHO SAY THAT PERSON IS BAD IS JUST A REFLECTION OF ONESELF!!!”
on November 28th, 2007 at 9:04 pm
Hi Brian and All,
Well, to start off with : I’m another with appearance problem or rather size problem to be precise. For me, I only have a lookable face but not the size. I’ve tried many ways and means to shed off those super extra pounds but only to realize that I am not doing much when I’m hit badly with Thyroid problem.
Sometimes, the inferiority comes banging onto me so much so that, I don’t even dare to fight for the job that I yearn for as a make up artist. Many MUA disperse the impression to me, that they are all slim and happening. And so that explains me not having enough guts to click “send” on my CV. Even on a personal level, I dare not open up to anyone and mix around in a carefree way. I keep having this assumption that people out there stare at me, to despise the way I look.
I’m trying very hard to fight off this struggle and seems like it’s getting nowhere. I can be really depressed at times, to the extent not even dare to go town on weekends. The time where every corners at town are just so packed with people, or rather packed with many beautiful people.
I think it’s advisable for me to pen off here, not good to hog onto the spaces any further.
Thank U
on November 28th, 2007 at 11:45 pm
To Bryan & Hope,
I readed the post but saying is much easier than to do. Although time can ease the pain in me but it can never erase the memory in me. Especially people beside me are forever talking about it and. Myabe you all will ask me to live with it. But is it really possible to live with it throughout yur whole life? I doubt so!
Indeed time can heal a wound but time can also cause harm to us. In the sense that as time go by, it means that that horrible nightmare is being with me for so how. That nightmare till today is already going to be 5 months but it seem that I can still remember it very clearly. I can remember how the person threaten me, how the person actually take me as a fool. I seriously dunno how to cope with it.
Mum also get to know about this thing and she is the one who ask the person not to disturb me anymore. But I can see that she is actually being troubled by it. Who can really help me?
on November 29th, 2007 at 12:07 am
Hey Bryan, your such a talented guy. I love to watch your home decor show, and hoping you will always win. Mark one so-so lah, hahaha. so bad one wan huh? Your ideas more classy mah. Kip up the good work. Hope next tym will have English sub-title, I couldnt understand chinese lah. Im not local u see..Its a gud show reli. And you laugh so funny.. Everyone will be delighted if there’s English sub-title so other races also can reli enjoy the show.. So good luck & God bless
on November 29th, 2007 at 12:18 am
to depressed,
thks for replying even though u are depreesed.. i know wad u are tryin to say, e reason for being left alone (for my case) is due to e fact tat i take every friendship preciously.
in e end i landed up in no where, leaving a bad name with e other friends when one of them start spreading sarcastic comments abt mi. nevertheless, i am always being hurt by e so called friends (regardlessly intentionally or not).. and now, i am quite an anti social person.. perharps u may wanna try thinking abt does they realli worth u putting so mani effort juz to be friends, if u are uncertian or e ans is no, it will be e best if u juz let e matter rest n try not to think so much abt it.
to peiying,
i agree tat no one wld like to be depressed at all times, settle a time frame to be sad & depressed may sound gd, but it may not be if u cant control it, n i know i cant.
e feeling (sadneess) is too overwhelming tat i choose to lock it within myself- which act as a time bomb tat may xplode anytime.. i know i am selfish if i juz end my life n tat e reason i’m struggling to live now..
to shannon,
i cld understand ur feeling of fearing to be alone as i’m experiencing e taste of it rie now. and believe mi, it doesnt do u any gd to help u in ur exams. plz do not mind ur friends as for now, n e reason for it was studies.
regarding relationship, to all ppl out there reading this part,
breaking up is always tat hurtful, and nevertheless u wld always have e person in mind.. love is juz like a rose, beautiful n lovely it may be, but hurtful as well- if u mishandle it(due to e thorns).. take every relationship seriously n commit urself fully, and take e breakup as a part of learning, as we grow, we will sure experience more of this. it’s alrite to think of him all u wan, but bear in mind tat e relationship has ended. and slowly release ur unwillingness (due to e fact tat u two broke up)
to pomelade,
outer beauty may seems to be e priority but i wld like to think otherwise. although u may not have e perfect body shape, but u have ur talents. dun let ur llooks hinder ur growth of e hidden talents in you. though u may face a lot of sucipision from outsider abt ur standard, so show/prove them wrong! in time to come, u may juz be e top outstanding make up artisits! have faith in urself n give it a try. be proud of urself. if u are not confident urself, how are you gonna let other respect u?
take care ppl!
on November 29th, 2007 at 12:21 am
Dear sha,
Hmm… there’s not much i can help out, but can i suggest you to have a chat with him? Instead of guessing, why not ask him directly? Your doubt only he can give you an answer, so why not try and talk to him? If you are embrassed get someone you trust to ask him instead! Don’t doubt about him first, because maybe you will make a wrong conclusion? So talk to him, as you definitely have the right to know the answer because both of you are not attached and most importantly is you have to grab this chances or else how he know what you are thinking? So be brave and ask…
Take care…
on November 29th, 2007 at 8:39 am
hi,byran…im just a small fan of u where i very admire your art and your work in the programme ‘Bai “jia “le’…anyway few days ago ia sw an article in the newspaper saying that a little girl feeling depressed because she had no friend..welll…im having the same problem too..is just tat my friend is too little…especially at office…sometimes i will feel very depressed..n sad why im so unpopular toward my colleague…really ’sian’ of my life..
on November 29th, 2007 at 9:09 am
Hi Unhappy]
To ‘say’ (easy) is the beginning of doing all things, to ‘do’ (difficult) is the process while doing all things. It’s took me long time to take the first step to ‘do’ it, very very difficult!
I totally agreed with what you said.
As I’ve mentioned – Wounds healed (pain can ease), scars remained (memory cannot erase). I’ve mentioned previously (28/07) – tried to shake it off, it just don’t leave!
I totally agreed with what you said.
Not only people beside, even people far away from me will forever talking about it. I can’t shut their BIG MOUTHS but I can shut my beautiful ears (in the initial stage of ‘doing’ – very, very painful!)
I totally agreed with what you said.
Really possible to live with it throughout my whole life? I doubt so.
I totally agreed with what you said.
*Really possible to outlive it in the midst of my whole life? I doubt so.
*Only GOD can deliver me from it!
Time can heal my physical wounds.
I totally agreed with what you said.
Time can do harm to my emotional wounds.
Darkness (Time) surrounded me, it’s getting darker and darker (as time passed)!
I totally agreed with what you said.
What I do?
SEEK HELP!
SEEK SOLUTION!
Don’t let the darkness engulf you, remember there’s always HELP AVAILABLE!
Discuss with your mother to seek professional help, you may refer to dated 28/11 the new paper, article about Bryan’s blog.
Helping yourself is also helping your stressful mother, it’s really hurtful and painful to see her child suffered. It’s really tear apart a mother’s heart. (I’m a mother of three, I too felt painful to see you going through all these agony).
Act fast before it’s too late.
Take care.
With love
on November 29th, 2007 at 9:31 am
HI,Bryan…I Have been troubled by the comments left in my blog tagboard…It semms that a gal/boy hate me a lot….I dont noe who is she/he but the person left lots and lots rude comments about me…U could go to my blog and have a look of what that person writes..but i deleted most of the comments…Can u help me to think of a way to stop the person from doing so as i do not wish that my blog become a place 4 paeon to scold me….
Hope that u can email me to give me some advice…
on November 29th, 2007 at 11:25 pm
Dear Hope,
However there are things that you wont want to talk about it anymore ever in your life, it is never easy to seek to help as you will have to tell the person the whole thing which I am very reluctant to do so.
Seek help? I tried before. I talk to my teacher but it doesnt really help much. I want to seek people who can help but I dun dare. Whenever I am alone, I will think of the past. You might ask me to hang out with other but like I said, because of this I dare not really hanged out with other as they are constantly reminding of the past!
I really wonder when will they just SHUT their mouth up as this thing had already happened for 5 months. I yearn to go back to my last time where I feel comfortable hanging out with friends.. I yearn for the day to come… …
on November 30th, 2007 at 11:25 am
Hi Unhappy!
I fully understand your feeling!!! I think Hope too understand exactly!!!
I have tried to seek help again from 1 of my “best friends” but GOT HURT AGAIN!!!! I SWEAR I WILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!!!! is not just a few times!!! The worst part is she will again say those “nice” words like “you can call me, etc” but when i call her with her permission, she DON’T PAY ATTENTION AT ALL!!! NOT JUST ONCE!!! She ever make use of another person to “make me put down the phone indirectly” (because she knows me well, i am the sort who is “automatic”, SHE USED THAT METHOD MANY TIMES!!! i s not i am sensitive but ….).When she was in “trouble or sad”, she even called me in the middle of the night and I REALLY LISTEN TO HER!!!! When she was at odds with matters, she called me out , I IMMEDIATELY WENT!!! but now, she is happy because ….. SO…I CAN TELL YOU IF THE SITUATION (her matters) RETURNS, SHE WILL BE “GOOD” TO ME AND WILL COME TO ME AGAIN!!!(she knows me….actually almost 99% of the people can very easily “see through/undertand my character and TAKE ADVANTAGES” (I AM JUST TOO “NAIVE” AND SOFTHEARTED!!!)
BUT NOW, i can tell you I AM UNDERGOING MENTAL “STRUGGLE” AND IN THE MIDST OF TOTALLY LOSE CONFIDENCE OF PPL until I AM LIKE “STRENGTHLESS TO ASK OR TO TALK, BECAUSE I REALLY DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANYMORE LIES AND PUT IN ANYMORE FEELINGS THOUGH I AM VERY VERY HURT AND DEPRESSED AND SCARED TO HEAR AND CONFIDE TO ANYONE AROUND ME!!!!!) I THINK YOU ARE TOO RIGHT?
I ALSO LONG TO BE BACK TO THE TIME WHEN I AM SO “HAPPY” AND “COMFORTABLE” WITH FRIENDS, ETC….THERE ARE MANY MANY THINGS WHICH I CAN’T DISCLOSE AND MANY ARE ACTUALLY AGGRAVATING MY CONDITION AND I HAVE NO CONTROL !!!! NOW, I EVEN SCARED TO SEEK HELP FROM SO CALLED PROFESSIONAL BECAUSE SEEMS LIKE THRE ARE CASES OF “PROFESSIONAL” BEING NOT PROFESSIONAL AND CAUSE EVEN MORE HURT, HOW COME??? I REALLY DONT’ LIKE THIS TYPE OF MISTRUST,ETC, AND I TRIED TO BE POSITIVE BUT HOW TO BE POSITIVE AFTER EVIDENCE PROVED OTHERWISE AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN…..
I can’t say mine is worst than you but my case happen and happening for about 1.5yrs!!! and seems like the HOLE IS GETTING DEEPER AND DEEPER!!! I BROKE DOWN THESE 2 DAYS!!!!(What fortunate is I CRIED AND CRIED because there was a few months back when I AM SO DEPRESSED AND HURT AND SAD BUT YET TEARS JUST ROLL INSIDE!!!)
I am very very “tired” and “strengthless” and “scare” to tell anyone (NOT THAT I DIDN’T TRY BEFORE) because they don’t understand at all, keep reprimand me,don’t want to listen, “forcing” me to do things, and WHEN I TRY TO TELL MY EXACT FEELING,etc, and tell those people WHY i am like that, they JUST REFUSE TO LISTEN AND REPRIMAND SHARPLY THAT IS MY FAULT AND SCOLD ME AND TELL ME DONT’ TALK ABOUT THE PAST!!!! (BUT IS BECAUSE OF THE “PAST” THAT CAUSE MY CONDITION AND BECAUSE THE “PAST” WERE THAT PERSON FAULT/”PLOT”, THAT PERSON PINPOINT AT ME INSTEAD!!! THAT PERSON UNDERSTAND ME TOO WELL THAT I WILL PUT “HIS FAULT” ON MYSELF!!!! ) WHO CAN UNDERSTAND THAT FEELINGS!!!! IS REALLY BEYONG DESCRIPTION!!!!
I KNOW I CANNOT RELY ON OTHERS BUT NOW THAT I REALLY CAN’T DO IT ON MY OWN AND I REALLY REALLY WANT TO “BE WELL” (WHICH IS VERY VERY DIFFICULT!!! EASIER TO SAY, VERY VERY DIFFICULT TO DO (HOPE AND UNHAPPY UNDERSTAND THIS, RIGHT?)!!!!)….I SEEK HELP FROM THOSE PEOPLE (I TRUST,ETC) BUT NO HELP WERE OFFERED AND INSTEAD MORE HURT WERE DONE TO ME EACH TIME!!!!!
I KNOW EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT BECAUSE I ALLOW THAT TO HAPPEN TO ME!!!!! THOSE PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY THAT “IS MY FAULT!!!! THOUGH LIKE I SAID , MANY ARE NOT!!!!)….HOW??? SORRY EVERYONE, I JUST NEED TO “VENT OUT”!!!!
UNHAPPY, HOPE YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR NICK TO HAPPY SOON!!! (I LONG TO CHANGE TO NOT DEPRESSED TOO!!! BUT ….)
HOPE, I THINK YOU ARE VERY VERY STRONG BECAUSE YOU ARE A MOTHER OF 3 AND STILL NEED TO COPE WITH FAMILY WORKS,ETC..MAYBE YOUR CHILDREN ARE YOUR HOPES THAT GIVE YOU STRENGTH??!!!! HOPE, HOPE THAT YOUR CHILDREN WILL NOT BE AFFECTED. BECAUSE CHILDREN ARE VERY “SENSITIVE” AND “SMART” TO NOTICE ABOUT THINGS.
HOPE, UNHAPPY, MINMIN….HOPE WE CAN BE “JOYFUL” AGAIN (BECAUSE LIKE HOPE SAID, JOY IS FILLED UNLIKE HAPPY!!!!)
on November 30th, 2007 at 2:28 pm
Hi Unhappy
Yes, it took me a lot of courageous to talk about something that I wont want to talk about it anymore ever in my life.
Yes, it’s never easy for me to seek help as I’ve to tell the person the whole thing which I’m relutant to do so.
But not till I coundn’t take it anymore (suicidal thoughts) then I sought professional’s help. I paid a great price (wrong judgement due to unsound mind worsen the matter) for not seeking help in my initial stage due to my reluctance. They’re a group of people who’re well trained in their professional, during my sessions with them, they lead me into conversation comfortably providing advice, solution, treatment for me.
************************************************************************************
Seek help? I tried before. I talked to my PREVIOUS MENTOR but it worsen the matter! I want to seek people who can help but I dun dare. I wouldn’t dare till that very day (near death)came, I couldn’t escape from it (dun dare to seek help). It’s really too much for me to endure any further!
Whenever I am alone now, I’ll think of my past. FYI I don’t like to hang out with other (old friends) because of that matter I dare not really hanged out with other (old friends) as they’re (old friends) constantly reminding of the past!
I really wonder when will they just SHUT their BIG MOUTHS up as this thing had already happened for 13 months! I doubt so! Because they have such BIG MOUTHS born to them it’s difficult to SHUT!
I yearn to go back to my last time where I feel comfortable hanging out with friends..I yearn for the day to come… …
Take care.
With love
Hope
on December 1st, 2007 at 12:22 am
Hi Depressed
Indeed my children are the hope that give me strength but there’s also many times that I wanted to give up hope (children) to leave this world. At that moment when the thought came to me as I’ve mentioned before, I sought help from SOS. Their listening ears and understanding hearts are the only and best way for me to stay on when I’ve decided to leave my ‘hope’ behind, when nothing in the world can stop me to have suicidal thoughts. I always remember their words – Don’t hesitate to call us when there’s a URGENT need and this has been a helping line for me till now. Sorry for mentioning SOS again, still hoping that you and Unhappy would consider to give a call to SOS especially in the middle of the night when darkness and the feeling of helplessness engulfing us. I can say that they’re my strength and hope in times of troubles, I never forget the helps that I received from them on many occassions. I wouldn’t say that I’m very very strong but can say that I’m very very stubborn, refusing to give in to setback. If I’ve been giving in (committed suicide) then I’ll never know you, a person who can understand my plight, my GOOD FRIEND. It’s a blessing knowing you, glad that you won’t mind ‘talking’ to an ‘old’ aunt. Ha! Ha!
Yes, children are sensitive and smart to notice about things. Sad to say that they’ve been in difficult times since birth (unstable circumstances – unable to disclose) but glad to say that they’re sensible children understanding my plights and have been standing by my side supporting me all these years. I really feel indebted to them, it’s really hard on them, I only notice it when –
Remembering once my eldest daughter said to me when both of us watching the movie titled ‘The Home Song Stories’ – That’s what she said during the show : ‘ It’s really, really tough on children when parents whom they loved made mistakes that affected the family! By hearing these words, my heart ache, that’s the first time I heard her inner voice. She must be very very strong, stronger than I! I’ve been insensitive to their need, engulfing in own problems, taking for granted that they were too young to feel anything. Thank GOD that they’ve grown up to be of healthy mind and body! I learnt my lessons and share with others whenever there’re chances to share. Hoping that others would benefit from it and need not go through what I’ve been through. I really most glad to see others living successfully in life including you, unhappy, and many others too. I too need your and others’ supportive words to pull me through. Nothing happen by chance, I belived in divine purpose that’s why we ‘meet’ each other here.
Take care, my good friend
Hope
on December 1st, 2007 at 12:53 am
To Hope, depressed and Bryan,
I understand what you all are trying to tell me. I feel very warm after hearing all this things because maybe you all undergo all this before. Hence you know that kind of suffering I am going through.
Is kind surprise to me and also fortn=unate to me that although you dont know me but you care more about me than my so called “fine weather friends”. However is not easy to overcome this barrier in me.
A few months back, I did think of ending my life to stop this whole thing. But luckily, I didnt do that. If I really do that, I will definitely regret it. Thanks for you all for being with me for this few days. Especially HOPE, you are really a person that truly understand the agony i am going through right now.
But will things really turn out the way I want? I really dunno but I seriously wished that the day will come as i am very tired of this lifestyle. Everyday come home straight after school. Is tiring! I really wished to walk out of this nightmare soon but I lack of the courage and other things.
Professional help? I doubt so! as i really dunno how to share my problems with them. because of this whole thing, I changed my number to avoid alot of people and whenever I see people i know on the street, I will pretend that I never see them..
I AM VERY TIRED NOW I YEARN FOR A REST!
on December 1st, 2007 at 10:05 am
Hi Unhappy
I have not undergo it but still in it and that’s why I understand the agony you’re going through now. It’s really been hard on you knowing that you’re young and forced to ‘grow up’ in this ‘way’. It’s a painful and teary experience especially for you who’re supposed to enjoy your youth days. You’re a brave person!
I hope that if there’s a day that you’re ready and really need help, seek them before you do harm to yourself (emotion-mental disorder/physical). I trully understand it takes time to make the decision(seek professional help). It’s almost took 5 years for myself!(I’ve mentioned in Bryan’s titled TRAPPED). I understand it, really understand it! Hope that day will soon to come for you, then you’ll not suffer in slience.
I’ll pretend that I never see them, never know them before, nothing has ever happen to me…because I’m starting a new chapter in my life. Maybe someday I’ll face them, acknowledge them, tell them I’ve walked out of it. But not now because I’m ‘resting’ at this moment, I’m very, very tired.
Will be going again to hospital to collect medicine today and lst session been fixed next month ( I have made request to be discharge in Sept.). After those days, I’ve to admit that I’ve to be patient on the road of recovery. I know where I’m going now and looking forward for it. I’m sick now I yearn for a recovery! Thank you for giving me a chance to share with you about my ‘wondering in dersert’, really hope that you could reach your destination asap.
Take care, sweet friend
HOPE
on December 1st, 2007 at 10:14 am
Hi Aunty Hope!(can I?)
Hi Unhappy!
I think 3 of us share VERY SIMILAR ENCOUNTERS AND FEELINGS AND HURTS!!! Though differ in some ways (right?)
I really don’t dare to call SOS (anyway, it won’t be the same person who will answer call everttime right?)
I am also VERY GLAD AND FORTUNATE TO KNOW BOTH OF U!!! and thanks Pigcahontas and Bryan too… and all those who showed concern!!!
Aunty Hope, I think your children are all grown up right? Maybe you find it difficult to share with your children because you don’t want them to know and also don’t know how to tell them ,right?
I think most likely this will become a “channel” for the 3 of us (maybe MinMin also) because “normally” bloggers won’t be back to “old” posts again and again….
Unhappy, I also thinking of changing my number and I even DELETE AWAY THAT “BEST FRIEND” NUMBER!!!! I WILL NOT CALL OR SMS HER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! BUT FOR THE OTHER FEW “BEST FRIENDS”, I STILL DON’T HAVE THE “HEART” TO DELETE YET….
I REALLY DREAD TO “CHANGE” INTO A “HEARTLESS” (JUST LIKE MOST OF THE PEOPLE,”FRIENDS”…BECAUSE A PERSON WHO GIVE “TRUE HEART” AND “REFUSE TO THINK OR BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE CAN BE “CRUEL”…,GETS HURT!!!)
I KNOW FULLY WELL THAT IF I JUST TREAT EVERYONE AS VERY “CASUAL” FRIEND (JUST A LITTLE DIFFERENT FROM STRANGER), THEN I WILL NOT BE HURT!!! JUST CHAT AND TALK “RUBBISH” , LAUGH LAUGH, GO OUT MAKAN, SHOPPING, “DON’T BOTHER/CARE” ATTITUDE ABOUT THEM, ETC(GET WHAT I MEAN?)…NO REVEAL OF INNER THOUGHTS, FEELINGS , ETC , THEN I WILL NOT BE HURT….BUT I REALLY DON’T WANT TO BECOME THAT TYPE OF PERSON!!!! I JUST DON’T KNOW HOW TO “BALANCE” AND NOT BE HURT!!!! (BECAUSE LIKE I SAID BEFORE, AT THE TIME, IS ALWAYS BECAUSE WE “BELIEVE”,”THOUGHT” THAT THAT PERSON IS VERY GOOD , SINCERE TO US, THAT MAKE US GIVE THEM “OUR TRUE HEART”!!! BUT IS REALLY VERY SCARY AND I CAN’T TAKE IT THAT A PERSON WHO WAS SO NICE TO ME CAN ACTUALLY BE AN “ANGEL IN DISGUISE”!!! I DON’T KNOW HOW TO “PULL MYSELF OUT” BECAUSE I HAVE PUT IN MY TRUE FEELING!!!!!
I REALLY DON’T KNOW….I AM NOT JUST TIRED BUT PHOBIA AND AT LOST!!!!
AUNTY HOPE AND UNHAPPY, THOUGH WE DON’T KNOW EACH OTHER BUT I REALLY CARE FOR BOTH OF U (AND MINMIN) AND I KNOW BOTH OF YOU TOO….THANKS BRYAN AGAIN FOR OPENING THIS FOR “US”!!!!
on December 1st, 2007 at 10:26 am
Not just because of the “treatment” I got from that “best friend” that hurts me REAL DEEP!!!
I THINK OF DISCLOSE BUT LIKE I SAID, IT WILL DO “HARM” TO THAT PERSON AND I DON’T HAVE THE HEART TO DO THAT!! BUT NOW, MANY PEOPLE MISUNDERSTAND AND BLAME ME AND THINK EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT!!!! (IS BECAUSE “THAT PERSON” IS “TOO SHREWD AND CUNNING WOLF” AND I AM LIKE A “SHEEP”…I DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN TOLERATE ALL THESE)…
SOMETIMES, I WILL THINK IF I DIDN’T GET TO KNOW THAT PERSON AND DON’T BE SO “STUPID” (BECAUSE THAT PERSON REALLY CAN “ACT” TO BE VERY VERY NICE!!! EXACTLY LIKE THOSE CHARACTER PORTRAY IN DRAMA!!!)….
I know what i am typing maybe repeated in previous post but i just type and type what’s going on in my mind…having bad headaches recently, KNOW SHOULDN’T THINK TOO MUCH AND SHOULD GO OUT BUT REALLY REALLY DIFFICULT TO DO NOW…
on December 1st, 2007 at 6:36 pm
This is a phrase I liked alot:
To All,
“Never let yesterday’s disappointment overshadows tomorrow’s dream”
PY
on December 1st, 2007 at 10:44 pm
Hi Peiying
I agreed to what you’ve posted, hope that you don’t just liked it a lot but actually work on it every moment of your life as what I’m doing now. Hope is the tomorrow’s dream that’ll never let yesterday’s disappointment overshadows.
Learning to speak up my sad feeling indeed reduced my heart’s sadness. Actually by speaking up my inner sadness is a scientific proven method for releasing, it has got nothing to do with weakness.
I’ve been working on my tomorrow’s dream, a sweet sweet dream. Hope is always in my heart.
on December 2nd, 2007 at 6:56 am
Hi Depressed & Unhappy
Rainbow appeared after thunderstorm and rainbow is the promise of GOD.
Thunderstorm is yesterday’s disappointment shadows,
Rainbow is the sweet, sweet dream,
You could only see the rainbow after a thunderstorm,
You could only be made stronger after trials in life.
Never give up!
Before dawn is the darkness of long night,
Dawn is at the end of darkness.
Though the night is long,
Though you’re waiting alone,
Remember it’ll shall to come.
Never give up!
Through natural things that takes place everyday, I learnt that waiting is important. They’re reminder to me that what happens in nature, is same to my situations.
Rainbow is appearing,
Dawn is drawing near,
Ready to receive them with a renew mind.
I’ll never give up!
With hope to Princess D
With love to Princess U
I think it’s time for me to stop, nevertheless don’t give up the good fight!
With smile from Aunty H
on December 2nd, 2007 at 6:11 pm
Hi Hope,
Thanks for agreeing with me!!! I’m very glad that you practised what is mentioned in the phrase. I do not know if I practise that totally but I can say I am “mind free” now.. haha.. (suddenly thought of the born free song) I have new directions in life and working on new stuff now. A little uncertainty but its always fun exploring new stuffs.
To speak of the truth and maybe to share a little bit with all, two months ago was seriously my trough period, many bad things came thundering upon me e.g. family, friends, school work, money, my own emotions… Was really disappointed, depressed, LOST, dunno where to start from. But maybe I practise that phrase that has already deeply imprinted in me or maybe my problems isn’t as grave as anyone else here, but I tide through it. And it is already in the post stage and here I am now.
I do not dare to hope that everyone here can practise the things I’ve said but seriously speaking, when you are at that a negative point of your life thinking that everything just work against you, be it your inert character, the things happening to you or around you, every slightist positive solution or things appearing in front of you, you will take that in doubt or grey. It is only when you think that you are already at the deepest and starts to realise you shouldn’t be depress and let your emotions work against you and started thinking CLEARLY, look at the entire picture then will you see the sunshine beyond the gloomy clouds. It is also then you will be determine to pull yourself out of a nasty situation and thinks that you deserve a better life and hurry lets clear the mess up!
I’ve been there, done that. Nothing will help when you are still in depress mode. Every little positive things will be said or happened to deaf ears, blind eyes. You are always in darkness. It is only when you tell your mind that there is something call LIGHT in your life then will you accept a tiny spark at the corner.
So lets embrace this:
“Never let yesterday’s disappointments overshadow tomorrow’s dreams”
Cheers Everyone,
Recover before Christmas!
A challenge I hope all people in this forum will accept! =)
on December 2nd, 2007 at 10:48 pm
hi depressed,
i dint know ur situation was exactly e same as mine!! i thought i’m e onli one who suffered (like onli when e ‘friend’ of mine nid mi, she will then called mi) i’m always there for her (juz like u are there for ur friend) but whenever i need a listening ear, she will never be there! (when she said i can find her for help too).. tat’s one of my greatest disappointment as i dunno y she asked mi out with every purpose tat benefits her.
i’m hurt by her countless time and after e last encounter, (which is quite recent,) i’ve decided to ignore her from now.. i’m now sure whether i have e courage to put aside a ‘friend’ tat i knew for 4 years, but i’ll do tat in order to lessen my sadness as she is not onli e onli cause of my sadness (but have e greatest impact though). i hope tat u wld be able to get over it as well. let’s all strive to achieve peiying’s posted challenge to recover be4 christmas!! take care!
on December 3rd, 2007 at 1:34 am
Dear Hope & depressed,
Aunty Hope, thank for your support throughout this few weeks. Seriously I am very grateful to you. Although you are showing me all your concern, Will be still be as supportive when you know what exactly happened to me? Like I said, I really dun wish to disclose to anyone about what happened.
I agree with you. I am doing harm to my mental health. This few days, I am feeling very very stressful. Because of this matter, I did called SOS for help however they are not able to help me. Being a guy, I should be able to live with it but there is really no way I can do it.
Professional help? SOS? 5 months have passed. But those things look like it happened yesterday. why must everyone keep reminding me about that things? why? I really dunno, I felt that I really cant take it anymore.
Things that happened beside are giving me damn lot of stress now. Because of the event, I made the wrong choice and went to poly but my interest are more on JC, so now I am deciding whether I should dropout from poly and go JC. However, I still have to think..
i really cant it anymore. I hate that person.. I hate everyone who talk about it now.. I really dunno wat to do! I really wish time can go back!!!!!!!!!
on December 3rd, 2007 at 4:07 am
Hi Depressed
Yes, not the same person but they’e same ‘hearts’, ‘listening ears’ and most important of all – love and patience.
I’m also glad and blessed to know all of you.
I shared with my two elder children ( young adult/teenager). They’ve been supportive though most of the time kept silence but I can feel the love and trust given by them through their daily attiude towards me. The youngest knows that mummy is sick and takes ‘good care’ of me by giving me hugs and kisses many times in a day.
Thanks to Bryan for allowing me to release my sadness here, a place where I can take time to bind my wounds up. A place where we can encourage each other with understanding hearts.
on December 3rd, 2007 at 10:44 am
Hi Unhappy
No matter what you’ve done in the past I’ll still be supportive. If without those ‘supportive’ that I’ve received during those darkest moment then I’ll not be here now. Moreover you’re really troubled/affected by what had happened, this shows that you never deny what had happened and are now deeply caught by the situation. People who’re irresponsible about their lives will simply brush everything aside and continue to live happily as before as though nothing has happen. If you’ve chosen not to disclose to anyone, try writing out on a piece of paper when there’s a need and tear it away bit by bit (Don’t keep it!). I’ve found out by writing is another way I’ll stop myself from self destruction (over dwelling). Hope that you’ll give it a try, that’s one of the way that you can help yourself without others interference.
Think carefully and make the right choice so you’ll not regret in future. Most important thing is when you’re doing something that you liked very much, it’ll help in lifting your soul (emotion) up because your vision will be focusing on it. Thus, new things happen, old things will grow dim in the light of new things.
on December 3rd, 2007 at 11:31 am
Hi PeiYing,
I am like you too, cry when there is noone, but some know and they are “heartless/no feeling” at all!! 1 of my “best friends” even reprimand me and say shouldn’t cry so often!! (i didn’t cry in front of her, but told her i cried)…until there are quite a long period when i am very very depressed but tears just rolled inside (until heart organ feel very “uncomfortable”/terrible feeling)!!
I think as we grow older, more and more things seems uncontrollable (opposite of what ppl say). I know we shouldn’t let those things affect us and if we can’t change/control, then we change/control ourselves, BUT REALLY VERY DIFFICULT!!! IS EASY FOR CERTAIN things and ppl which I didn’t put in my heart and soul BUT WHEN HURT AND LIES KEEP HURTING,ETC AND JUST CAN’T LET GO (EASIER TO SAY TO LET GO), NOT THAT DIDN’T TRY BUT …
I feel that maybe also SUBCONSCIOUS, I JUST DIDN’T WANT AND COULDN’T BEAR TO AND YET FEEL SO DEPRESSED AND HURT,ETC WHEN THOSE PEOPLE KEEP LYING, MAKING USE, ETC, TO ME!!!!!
Thanks a lot for your encouragement to Unhappy and all of us who are “depressed”!!
on December 3rd, 2007 at 11:53 am
Hi Aunty Hope!!! I FEEL REALLY TOUCHED WHEN I READ ABOUT HOW YOUR 3 CHILDREN CARES FOR YOU!!!
AT LEAST THEY ARE YOUR HOPES!!!!
Actually like you said, speaking up inner sadness is a scientific proven method for releasing, it has got nothing to do with weakness! BUT THE PROBLEM IS, NOW IS REALLY VERY VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT MY MOST INNER “CAUSES”!!! I HAVE TRUST NOONE ANYMORE, I MEAN I FEEL REAL SCARED TO CONFIDE AND DON’T BELIEVE WHEN THOSE “BEST FRIEND” TELL ME I CAN !!!!(BUT I HATE THAT KIND OF NOT TRUSTING PPL THAT I HAVE!!!). LIKE THE “BEST FRIEND” THAT I KNOW FOR MORE THAN 6 YRS AND WHO CALLED ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT,ETC, I REALLY DON’T TRUST HER ANYMORE AFTER MANY MANY MANY TIMES OF CHANCES AND THE HURT SHE “IMPOSED”!!! (As I am typing this, a thought “NOONE CAN HURT ANYONE UNLESS ONE “ALLOWS” OTHERS TO”!!!! Aunty Hope, I always have this kind of thoughts THAT REALLY DRIVE ME “CRAZY”/”SELF GUILT…THAT’S WHY I ALWAYS BLAME MYSELF EVEN IF IS NOT MY FAULT!!! THIS IS 1 OF MY MAIN PROBLEM, I REALLY DON’T KNOW SHOULD I HAVE THIS TYPE OF THOUGHT???? HOW TO “BALANCE”??? I THINK I AM “STUPID” IN INTERPRETING AND USED CORRECTLY???)
I AGREE with what PY said that because of inert character and depression, so even positive things will be negative … and i always TOLD MYSELF THAT AND “BLAME” MYSELF BUT THOSE NEGATIVE THINGS ARE REALLY, NOT BECAUSE OF MY DEPRESSION AND YET I “BLAME” MYSELF AGAIN FOR BEING “NEGATIVE/SENSITIVE”!!! SO ALL THESE TYPE OF THOUGHTS/BELIEFS IS MAKING ME …..HOW??? I NEED SOMEONE TO TELL ME “HOW” AND SHOULD I ALWAYS THINK THAT WAY??? !!!
I ALSO FEEL VERY FORTUNATE TO KNOW AUNTY HOPE (WHO ARE THE “PIONEER” FOR ME), PIGCAHONTAS, MINMIN, UNHAPPY, AND MANY MANY … THANK A LOT!!!!
on December 3rd, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Minmin,
Yes WE ARE ALIKE!!! AND I SWEAR I WON’T CONTACT THAT “BEST FRIEND” ANYMORE BUT WHEN SHE CONTACT ME (IF EVER), I WILL JUST TREAT HER AS VERY VERY “NORMAL” FRIEND OR LIKE A “STRANGER”(AS IN NOT GIVING MY FEELING TO HER ANYMORE!!!)….NOW, I TOLD MYSELF NO NEED TO GO ALL THE WAY AND TO GIVE MY TRUE CONCERN FOR HER ANYMORE!!!! AND I REALLY DELETED HER CONTACT FROM MY HP!!!! THIS IS THE 1ST TIME I DID SO “CRUEL” THING!!!! (I DREAD AND REFUSED TO BE SUCH A “CRUEL AND HORRIBLE” PERSON AND CONSTANTLY TOLD MYSELF I DON’T WANT TO BE LIKE THAT, ESPECIALLY SO HYPOCRITE TO FRIENDS!!! BUT SHE IS THE 1ST ONE THAT REALLY MAKE ME D O IT!!!! BUT FRANKLY SPEAKING, I AM NOT SURE HOW LONG “CRUEL” I WILL BE!!! BUT I WILL KEEP REMIND MYSELF THAT SHE IS NOT THE TYPE WHO WORTH MY CONCERN ANYMORE BECAUSE OF THE HURT TO ME SO DEEPLY AND ALSO THE LIES AND “BEAUTIFUL WORDS” THAT I TRUSTED HER!!! I REALLY SCARED OF BEING HURT AGAIN!!!! I KNOW HER FOR MORE THAN 6 YRS!!!)
I REALLY VERY “STUPID” TO BELIEVE HER WORDS BECAUSE NEVER DID I THINK THAT SHE IS LIKE THAT!!!!!
LIKE YOU SAID, LET’S STRIVE TO “RECOVER” BEFORE CHRISTMAS!!!
on December 3rd, 2007 at 12:26 pm
Hi Unhappy!!!
Yes, Aunty Hope is REALLY VERY GREAT!!! SHE HAS BEEN HERE FOR ME SINCE BRYAN’S POST ON “I AM TRAPPED!” AND I ALSO REALLY VERY VERY GRATEFUL TO HER!!!!
Like i said, even i am VERY DEPRESSED, I WILL STILL TRY MY BEST TO “HELP” BECAUSE I KNOW THAT KIND OF FEELING AND HELPLESSNESS!!!!!
AT LEAST YOU AND AUNTY HOPE SEEK HELP FROM SOS…WHICH I DON’T DARE TO FOR A FEW REASONS I MENTIONED! Don’t quite understand what you mean by SOS not able to help…because of…????
I think maybe as a guy, is more tough because of the sterotype ppl have for GUY, RIGHT?
Because i don’t really know your exact problem/causes for going to poly whenyour interest are more on JC. I know is very easy for others to tell you just do what you feel you are interested in, what’s so difficult,etc…BUT I UNDERSTAND IS NOT THAT EASY AND SIMPLE (though it may really be a very easy decision to make for many! and I BELIEVE IF NOT DUE TO THOSE CAUSES, YOU CAN ALSO EASILY MAKE THE DECISION,RIGHT?!)…BUT IS JUST DIFFICULT AND I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE SOME OF MY OPINION AND HOPE CAN “HELP” YOU TO THINK (JUST LIKE I NEED SOME “HELP” TO GUIDE MY THINKING WHEN I JUST CAN’T “THINK PROPERLY” NOW!!!!)….
1. What’s the thing in poly that you don’t like that you want to switch to jc, you mention about your interest in jc, because i don’t know what in jc that interest you…will that “interest” disappear when you actually go into jc?
2. are you able to discuss with your family about the impact of switching? I mean are they ok with your switch?
3.If you don’t switch to jc, what will that affect you in long term?future?
For your information, there are many cases of jc switching to poly and poly switching to jc (from what i know)…if you have decided that you won’t regret and will be happier (but i don’t know if there are other reason that even you know you will be happier and want to switch to jc, you can’t….no support??)….
Another point is which yr you are in poly now? i think that will “affect” your decision too…Another way is to talk to your poly lecturer (there are really good and nice lecturers in poly/jc) about your feeling and seek their advise because they maybe a better choice of person because of their experience ( but seek the “RIGHT” lecturer)…OR you are also unable to seek appropriate help from poly lecturer?….Do let us (me, aunty hope….) know and see if we can “help”. Don’t worry, we won’t ask you to reveal things that you WON’T WANT TO REVEAL BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND THAT MYSELF TOO…there are things that WE DON’T WANT/CAN’T DISCLOSE….
HOPE YOU WILL BE HAPPY AFTER YOU ARE ABLE TO MAKE YOUR DECISION!!!!
on December 3rd, 2007 at 12:33 pm
Unhappy, please don’t think that “because YOU ARE A GUY…SO…you SHOULD OR SHOULDN’T…..”THIS TYPE OF BELIEF/THOUGHT ARE NOT “HEALTHY” BECAUSE I THINK THAT IT WILL “HARM” YOU MORE!!
GUY AND GAL ARE THE SAME!!! ARE HUMAN WHO WILL FEEL SAD, LOST, HELPLESS, DEPRESSED, SCARED, “WEAK”…….you get what i mean? GUY WHO CRY DOESN’T MEAN HE IS “WEAK” OR “USELESS”!!! ALL THAT ARE THE “OLD SOCIETY THINKING” THAT I THINK “HARM” AND UNHEALTHY!!!!
FREE YOURSELF FROM THAT TYPE OF THOUGTH ,OK? but of course don’t a bit of thing also cry lah …BUT APPROPRIATE CRYING IS GOOD AND RELIEVE STRESS A BIT !!!!
on December 3rd, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Aunty Hope, can I seek advise from you…
I know what I should do but if i make that decision “A”, my parents will be very sad and feel very stressful and worried for me….as a tradition parents, they will also feel “lost face”….
another thing is, if I make decision “B” (INSTEAD OF “A”), I will be continue to be very depressed and unhappy because I am UNABLE, CAN’T BEAR TO LET GO YET THAT MAKE ME REAL DEPRESSED AND “MENTAL STRUGGLE” ABOUT “HUMAN”….BECAUSE I KEEP LISTENING TO LIES!!!!! I HATE TO LISTEN TO THAT PERSON LIES BUT YET I “WANT” THAT PERSON’S TRUST AND CONCERN!!!! I HAVE BEEN THINKING WHETHER SHOULD I TELL THAT PERSON THAT I KNEW ALL THOSE LIES AND ALSO I WANT TO HAVE AN ANSWER FOR 1 INCIDENT THAT PERSON DID (WHICH IMPACT ME A LOT!!!)…BUT IF I ASK ABOUT THAT INCIDENT , THAT PERSON WILL BE ANGRY AND WILL ACCUSED AND REPRIMAND ME FOR BEING “NOSY, WHY I AM LIKE THAT…” (THAT PERSON ALWAYS LIKE THAT, DID WRONG YET DON’T ADMIT AND IF I ASK, WILL GET SCOLDING AND ACCUSATION AND THAT PERSON ALWAYS SUCCEED IN MAKING ME FEEL GUILTY INSTEAD!!!! EVEN THOUGH THAT IS NOT MY FAULT!!!)
If I make decision “A”, my parents will be ….. and that person will tell others and put all the blame/fault to me AND OTHERS WILL EVEN MISUNDERSTAND ME FURTHER AND STARTS TO TALK BAD ABOUT ME EVEN MORE (That’s why i said if i make decision A, my parents will feel……)!!!! like i said, if i were to tell others the TRUTH/REAL REASONS, “HARM” WILL BE TO THAT PERSON AND NOT ME but I DONT HAVE THE HEART TO HURT THAT PERSON (EVEN THOUGH IS THAT PERSON OWN DOING/FAULT)…..IN DILEMNA!!!! ALL THOSE THING ABOUT THAT PERSON, I DON’T DARE AND DON’T HAVE TO HEART TO TELL EVEN MY PARENTS, I KEEP “SIDING”/”MAKE EXCUSES” FOR OTHERS NOT TO KNOW!!!!
THAT’S 1 OF THE MAIN CAUSES FOR MY DEPRESSION!!!….DON’T KNOW WHAT DECISION TO MAKE!!!! ANOTHER CAUSE IS “I REALLY CAN’T ACCEPT THAT THAT PERSON CAN BE “THIS KIND OF PERSON” AND YET I CAN’T BEAR TO LET GO….
Know ONLY I CAN HELP MYSELF BUT I REALLY CAN’T THINK AND MAKE DECISON PROPERLY NOW!!!!!
on December 3rd, 2007 at 12:51 pm
Bryan, really very sorry for posting so many…..you may delete if you feel is too many…
on December 3rd, 2007 at 3:29 pm
to bryan..
hi bryan…im a 15 years old malaysian gal..im trapped in myself..im stuck with bunch of problems..friends especially..ima very paranoid person…i always feels tat my frens will leave me anytime..i always afraid tat i might do or say something wrong tat hurts my fren without me realisin it..cuz..my frens ignored me once..phobia i guess..how to make myself more likeable??i really cant live without frens..i need a true fren..but its hard to find..
and….to tel u something truthfully..i went into a relationship before.i know i shouldnt..but,im curious to try..in the end..i fell deeply into it..but we broke up after one year..i still miss him now..wat shud i do???
STUDIES>..is wat i need to focus on now..my public exam’s results is coming out..im WORRIED..wat if i dont get straight A’s??i might die u know..:’(..
my piano competition is comin…but im really worry bout it..im a person tat very lack of confidence..i always look down on myself no matter in appearance or ability..i care about my appearance a lot..but im not really good lookin..can u pls help me with all my problems??PLEASE DO HELP ME!!!thanks..n i like to see u on tv a lot..u’re cute…
p/s::i’ve repeated this cuz im waitin for ur opinion..
on December 3rd, 2007 at 9:09 pm
Dear Shannon,
You seemed to be weighed down by one too many problems.Linking them up or viewing it collectively ain’t going to help you. Why not try to separate all these problems and tackling them one by one. Friends are indeed important because no man is an island.But to define your existence by pinning all your hopes on your friends seemed rather unfair to yourself and your friends. Relax..Don’t put too much emphasis on friendship..let it go..and you might just find a true friend that understands you. Worried about not getting A’s..easy. Just study hard and make sure you understand what you are memorising.Looks wise, well..don’t worry about it at this age. I have known many friends who blossom overnight! Only start worrying when you turn 21.6 more years to go….
on December 3rd, 2007 at 9:13 pm
Dear Depressed,
think you have been thinking too much..way too much.. why don’t you try not to think so much and perhaps you might feel better. Don’t immerse yourself in depression anymore..time to surface and start to have a life ya? Let bygones be bygones. Learn to let go..or better, just let it go. Start on a fresh note and forget about the rest. Just let it go……
on December 3rd, 2007 at 9:26 pm
Dear unhappy
i always believe that our destiny is in our own hands..People can sway our thoughts or other ppl’s mouth..however, it is up to us to decide if we would want to clear the air or to just go one with our lives.Always remember one simple truth..When plague with a problem, you are the only one who has to shoulder it whilst the person who gave you the pain goes off scott free.So, why let him have the good deal? Move on with your life and look ahead, not backwards..you will make yourself and your mum happy..
on December 3rd, 2007 at 9:29 pm
To hope,
Thank you for being truly wonderful..You really do bring hope to many and we should all be so glad of your existence. The road to recovery might be rough, but you are hope..you will make it! lets all meet at the end of the tunnel and bask in the warmth of the LIGHT!
on December 3rd, 2007 at 10:38 pm
Aunty Hope,
Everytime I post a reply, i look forward for yur reply. Thanks alot, I think that you really helped me alot but things dun always go the same way we want it to be. Maybe, perhaps oneday, i might really get those things away from me and lead a happy life. I am very grateful to know that you are there for me especially when you said that you will still be supportive even you know what happened to me. Thanks. Maybe one day, I might be able to recover fully. But for now, I think I rather hide than face it.
on December 3rd, 2007 at 10:41 pm
Bryan,
Thanks for your advice, but things normally dun turn out the way we want in life. I am now running away from. Might sound like a coward but there is really no way I dare t face it or mention about it. This is affecting me emotionally and I even seek help from SOS in the middle of the night. But it doesnt really help because sometime I will think about all those thing or things that might happened again.. I am tired and I prefer to hide now.
on December 3rd, 2007 at 10:44 pm
Depressed,
Thanks. But noe i rather chose to hide and rest. but sometime, I feel that no amount of resting can help me. is tiring! well, this is the first time i am sharing with other wat i am going through now. but then, those nightmare are still here.. what to do? face it or run away? face it? no courage! run away? I am tired! seriously i dunno wat to do!
on December 4th, 2007 at 1:27 am
Dear Unhappy and depressed,
“To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.”
—Tom Robbins
Many times, we think that we are all that weak to overcome the obstacles in life. We are physically weak and mentally weak but we never stop there. We move beyond the infancy stage and grow up to be stronger each day. This goes the same for problems in life. The minute we are exposed to a new problem, we dropped down the leader of experience as we are just too foreign to it. But one day we will just climb up the leader again, by hook or by crook and get out of the problem, because that is life. Trust me.. your problem is no way near unable to resolve. What I mean by resolving may not be patching up with your friend or trying to make them understand how you feel or make them be a “good” friend to you, but simply… to let it go.
Its sad.. that people come and go in our life. They always do. We always hope that good ones will stay but circumstances may not allow it to happen. However, if bad ones appear, why.. WHY allow them to hurt you further?
Yes, it is easier said than done. I never say it isn’t. And if you’ve tried but it didn’t succeed, please try harder, for yourself. Its the harder you try, the faster you’ll get out of this hell you’re suffering. Like what Tom Robbins had said, it is only when you’re thinking of the unthinkable then will you achieve the impossible. Maybe he didn’t make it clear enough in this phrase, but I believed he meant it with an action plan after the thinking process. What is to be done after the thought process.
Unhappy, you did it right by seeking help from SOS like what Hope has said. But please, don’t give up so easily. You’ve just managed to take a step out to resolve your problem. Confronting it further, take a few more step ahead (though it may hurt a little) but if you can endure, I believed you will definitely make it through.
Depressed.. Can you start by not dwelling on the past? It is definitely not useful to kept on repeating about how your friends have mistreat you. I know they hurt you badly and you really like to let it all out by telling yourself and the others what they have done and how bad friends they are. But do you know, the repetitive thinking and telling of the doings of your friends also at the same time harmfully made deeper cuts in you as they kept on resonating in your mind. (I can see it almost immediately by the CAPITALISE chunks of wordings you used; your agitation and stuff) You will never be able to forget about this misery if you keep on thinking about it and feeling angry about it. Heed my advice. Let it go. Don’t dwell on it anymore. The misjustice they’ve done to you can no longer be unturned. Let yourself out of this misery by not harping on it anymore.
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
—Mark Twain
It’s time to make new friends like Aunty Hope and Bryan. Hope that you guys can go through their words again and seriously think what the future beholds for you. It will definitely not be these depressed states you’re in but a bright, colourful and exciting life beyond the gloomy days.
Take care all.
on December 4th, 2007 at 5:57 am
Hi Unhappy
Yes things dun always go the same way we want it to be, just like there’s smooth ‘time’ (get what we want), there’s difficult time (dun get what we want) and lastly there’s waiting time (better and greater things on the way).
You’ve mentioned that you’re running away, I’m glad you know that you’re running away because you’re aware of what you’re doing(running away). Being honest to admit that you’re running away is to experience it, accept it (not coward). Accept it gracefully and you’ll be able to settle your mind while you’re running away and running back as winner to face the storm in your life.
Previously I don’t know how to really release my sadness, I remembered that there were times when call(SOS) was put through and I said ‘never mind’ then hanged up. It takes me times to learn how to pour out my ‘bitterness’. May I encourage the good work that you’ve started, continue do not give up! Voice out how you felt at that moment, you can cry, you can tell them about your fear, your tireness, your running away…without giving any further details what had exactly happened to you. Focus on the process and you’ll see the result.
FEAR that things might have happened again
FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real!
Take care
on December 4th, 2007 at 6:24 am
Hi Dearest Depressed
I’m concern whether have you make any decision? Please, please refer to what I’ve mentioned in Bryan’s ‘Trapped’ dated 15 Oct 06, 2nd paragraph. Really do not wish to see you hurting yourself any further, struggling in making decision.
on December 4th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
hi bryan,
I am getting married soon. will be having an ROM buffet reception.. was thinking of
some simple DIY guestbook.. do you have any ideas? thanks.
by the way, really like your decor for geomertic twist.. innovative idea..
congrats!
on December 4th, 2007 at 3:00 pm
thanks bryan…but..i’m wondering..is it a very big mistake to start a relationship or having a crush at this age??
on December 4th, 2007 at 9:45 pm
dear bryan and all,
recently, i feel realli tired, tired of.. everything.. i’m realli exhausted with e amt of work n amt of thing i need to do.. i always think tat keeping myself busy will stop me from thinking e unhappy moments i had gone through.. but e more busy n tired i am, e more i think abt my past.. it make mi even more tired.. n e ‘engine’ (body) starts to break down le.. wad shld i do.. i’m trying my very best to say tat wad’s over is over, no use dwelling over it.. yet occassionally, i do feel sad.. feel like crying.. i’m as though at e verge of breaking down again.. wad am i gonna do?:?
on December 4th, 2007 at 10:11 pm
Well, everyone just give me some time. I believed having al of your support, I will be able to wake up from this nightmare and lead a happy life. Maybe oneday, I will be able to change to happy. But right now, I think I prefer to run away from it and hide!
on December 5th, 2007 at 9:46 am
Hi Hope, PeiYing, Bryan and all!
Thanks for all your support, especially HOPE and Bryan for open this !!!
on December 5th, 2007 at 9:48 am
Hi Hope! I really don’t know how to make the decision UNLESS i “ignore” my parents’ feeling….which I CAN’T DO!!! REALLY THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN!!
on December 5th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
hi depressed,
Just to let you know that although i have not been posting, i have been reading your every posts to know how you have been doing. I’m sorry that i can’t post more recently because i’m not ready to help these days, will explain more about it if i have the chance in future. It just occured to me the other day that i have told you before that if i no longer care, i will stop posting. But its definately not the case for now. So would like to let you know that i stop posting because the issue is on me, not about you.
Wishing you all the best.
on December 5th, 2007 at 7:59 pm
Hi Pigcahontas!
Thanks a lot!!! REALLY HOPE THAT YOU WILL BE FINE SOON AND I AM SURE YOU WILL BE!!!
on December 5th, 2007 at 10:08 pm
aww , my mum doesnt give me any freedom at all . i am a 12 years old girl .
when i ask her whether if i can go out with friends , she would disapprove of it . on the other hand , my 18 years old bro . can stay out the whole night . and she says nothing ! it ‘s totally unfair luh !
on December 6th, 2007 at 12:03 am
Hi bryan 1st time here.. i dunno know what to do so i really hope u can help me out. There’s a guy that i like for quite awhile le but i dun have the courage to tell him. Dunno why but my heart is aching so much. I try not to think about it but somehow my mind will automatically filled with this matter regardless of how hard I try to forget. Even though we are from the same class, yet he really seems very far away from me. I really dunno what to do & I really hate to know 1 girl after another that occupy his heart. I’m really very tired le tired until I just feel like giving up my life.. so what should I do?? Should I just try to accept other guys that happens to pass by my life & try to forget this painful incident? pls help me out can??
on December 7th, 2007 at 1:27 pm
hi to all, 1st time leaving a comment here, well.. i had a problem now… i m in sec 2 tis n goin on to sec3 nxt yr. somehow maybe i m not hardworking enough tis yr, i was posted to the most bad n naughty class. as far as i noe, the ppl in my class nxt yr is notorious de lor. omg, dunno how to face them nxt yr=(.. now i dun fell like going to sch at all lor.. shld i transfer to other sch or wat?? i really dunno, so can ani of ur help me pls!!!??
on December 7th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
Hi Bryan !! you are fantastic and genius. Wow , my son 8years will never miss througout all your Pai Jia Ler HA HA! We appreicate and hope you could spend us a little of your precious time on how should we paint and decor our small flat – 2 room with one utility room. Can we fax our floor plan and house picture and you give us advise. and I dont mind to fork out a small amount to you. cost we dont have cpf so buy this resale cash $60k Plus my little boy saving ( 8 years saving )all used up. Please appreciate you will not let down my son’s dreams. thank you.
on December 7th, 2007 at 9:06 pm
dear lost girl,
try to sound him out and check out his responses..i always believe we should work for what we want..if you never tell him or indicate so, you probably won’t know the ans.If positive, good for you..if negative, move on my dear..there are more than just one guy in this world la….
on December 7th, 2007 at 9:08 pm
dear noonecares,
Perhaps you might want to seek your teacher’s advise on this.. if this poses as a very big prob for you, perhaps get your parents to meet your teacher and see if there are any alternative solutions.If this posting is affecting you that badly, you ought to alert both your parents and the school wor…
on December 7th, 2007 at 9:14 pm
dear Mary gan,
If you have read some of the other postings , you might have noticed that quite a fair bit of you guys kind of a want my help in doing up your apartments. As much as i would like to be of help, i am really tied down by my work at the tv station. have been working every single day for the past one month plus and that doesn leave me any free time at all..Actually, i have blogged about this situation in one of my earlier entries.. when my schedule is not so tight and i am able to commit to anything, i would probably let you guys know. Unfortunately, this is really very bad timing.Apologies..
on December 10th, 2007 at 1:54 am
Dear Nana,
I do understand that girls at your age would like to go out with friends and seek to own freedom like adults. However, maybe it will help you a little by trying to see things from your mum’s perspectives first. If you are able to earn her trusts like showing a good track records of returning home on time, having the habit of letting her know who are your friends and who do you hang out with. I believe she will slowly gain trust and confidence in you and your friends and allow you to go out on your own.
Do not envy your brother. Its a process that we all have to go through. I doubt he can stay out the whole night when he was 12. Besides, parents usually have different standards for guys and gals. They tend to be more protective over their baby daugthers.
Your mum really cares about you. Do give her some time and communicate to her. Let her know that you’ve grown up and you’re matured enough to make little decisions in life. And of cos, being a grown up, you’ll have to keep to every promises you made e.g. returning home on time. =)
Jia You~ Nana
on December 10th, 2007 at 11:21 am
My girlfriend and I always have quarrels. I think that she is not understanding enough and she thinks that I am not caring enough. Basically, my working hours and hers doesnt fit. I’m working on shift whereas she is working office hours and she is staying at the North-East side and I am staying in the west. The traveling distance between us is very long. Normally I would be the down going down to meet her. She would be angry if i had initially agreed to meet her but later told her that i am tired from work and wish to stay at home and rest , she would be angry. How can i make my life not so tiring and cut down on unnecessary quarrels?
on December 10th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
dont know ist because i hv d six sense, last time i went back and saw my doggie… i know this is my last chance to my doggie, my doggie was quite old and sick. after i back fr hometown i keep dream of my doggie.. tis time i went back, my mum told me tat d doggie passed away on last thurday, although i know this ll happen but i still feel very sad when my mum told me regarding his condition, sat night i cant sleep well as i was very sad…y’day back to sin, b4 sleep still though of my doggie as he already accompany us for so many yrs -13 yrs already. my mum said they ask somemore to burial his body…n i really hope to know where but my mum also not very sure d exact loc. today i still feel very sad,miss him alot… i dont know when can i back to normal.
on December 12th, 2007 at 11:10 am
I am a teenager currently and I am currently facing lots of problems now. Recently I went to a chalet with my friends, it was a class chalet. Yeah. den they wanted to watch movie, I didn’t bring enough money along, and i dun wanna borrow from my friends, cause firstly i dun feel like watching, secondly i can only return the money when school reopens,(its holidays now) Yeah. and i dun wan my friends to think that i fancy borrow money from them and not returning. Hence, when i was walking with them to the bus stop, i told them i dun wanna go. Angry and Shocked faces were staring at me. I didn’t care anymore, i just walk as fast as i could back to the chalet to join those who din go along. As i din tell them the reason, one of them said that i was a pangseh-er in the class blog. yeah.. i know that what others think is not important, but sometimes i does matters…But, if i approach the guy and have a talk with him, he would tell all his friends and he is one of the so called class politics larh.. so if i offended him, all my surrounding friends would give me a cold shoulder. But what can i do?
on December 12th, 2007 at 11:50 am
Something happened to me again. Today, after 4 long months I saw the person I dread seeing most. The moment I saw that person, my legs seem to turn jelly. I really dunno how deal with this. I am so afraid that he/she see me. what to do? I wanna get out of this nightmare fast!
on December 12th, 2007 at 10:21 pm
Hi NYZ,
I think both of you should communicate this issue without quarreling because it can be solved!
Is common for a couple to think that the other party is not understanding, SHOULD be MORE understanding, caring ,etc… and actually when you think she is not understanding but she thinks she is….when she thinks you are not caring but you think you are…you get what i mean?
As gal, normally will get angry if bf promise but broke his promise (even though you have “valid” reason in a way, but i think is because she miss and hope to see you so when you say you are tired and didn’t want to go, i think many gf will be angry…i think if you always “break” promise…maybe 1 day when she is not angry , you will be frightened! really!
so maybe both of you can “work out a schedule” and meeting place….maybe you can ask her to meet nearby or ….tell her your reasons….but maybe she won’t be able to “accept” initally….but if you tell her nicely when she is in good mood, she will be able to….
dont’ worry, is not a big issue…
on December 12th, 2007 at 10:34 pm
Hi Sam,
Actually when i read your post, I am very glad because you are a very sensible boy (can i use the word “boy”?). Maybe you can tell your friends why you don’t want to go with them because if that happens very often, then misunderstanding will get deeper and deeper….is ok to tell them you don’t have enough money and didn’t want to borrow (even if they offer to) because you don’t want to make it a habit to borrow…. don’t feel inferior or pai seh to tell friends you don’t have money and in fact, frankly speaking, i think even bryan, aunty hope, etc will share same feeling as me that you are very sensible.
Many of us are like you during teenage too…so don’t feel too sad…
I think maybe you can try to click with those who are of same frequency as you (not “affected” and won’t give you cold shoulder)…how come the rest will “listen” to him and all give you cold shoulder?
Is normal to feel sad when others give you cold shoulder but i believe there will be at least 1 who is not….cheer up, you are really very sensible and i believe you will be able to click with “sensible” friends.
on December 12th, 2007 at 10:43 pm
Hi Unhappy!
I can REALLY understand your fear and leg turn jelly because I have similar feeling and I am worst because when I heard hp ringing and saw the number that i “fear”, leg not only turn jelly but hands and legs turn cold and the fear is from within!! I don’t dare to answer the call and don’t know what to answer that person when i see that person the next time (i am so scare to see that person but i got no choice!!! and i try to avoid many times but….as a result, many ppl have misunderstood me!!!! I feel terrible!!!)
I am at loss and depressed (but i try to “sound and look” happy these days! but is terrible!)
Frankly speaking, i have gradually psycho myself not to put in any further true feeling to those friends…i notice i have changed! In the past, I will show “follow up” concern for them when they are “troubled” but now i don’t (those “best friends” didn’t even sms me to ask me how i have been because they know about my condition…especially the one who i deleted her number.) i feel that i am like “dead heart” now towards friends,etc…but within me, i know that is not the real me !!!
Advise about dealing with fear didn’t work for me at all so i can’t advise you what to do! but just to tell you that you are NOT alone!!! I and aunty hope, etc are here for you!!!
on December 14th, 2007 at 11:40 am
Hi bryan.
im currently a professional working in one of the prestigious firms in the finance sector. However, i always have a ‘thing’ for writing n aspired to become a chinese journalist or 撰稿 type of jobs. In fact, i took chinese language elective in jc (小妹可是您的学妹! haaa) n entered the communication studies course in uni. i guess i have tis little flair in chinese. haa..But cos of some stupid reasons caused by my immaturity, i dropped out of e course n entered accountancy instead. But i was neva happy in that course cos i don have interest. Thus, unlike my achievements in chinese subjects, my results neva shone. But i jus follow e conventional path n refuse to back track to pursue my journalism dream.
till nw, i still have regrets deep in my heart. N i cant commit to my current job n perform well due to lackluster interest too. I read that 撰稿 doesn req qualifications, but rather creativity. Since u r experienced in the media industry, may i jus ask what options r availiable if i were to pursue a writing related career even though i hold a acct degree?
on December 15th, 2007 at 4:19 am
Hi Unhappy
Something happened to you again!
I belived that ‘something happened to you again’ is a breakthrough for you!
That day, after 4 long months you saw that person you dread seeing most!
I belived that ‘you saw that person you dread seeing most’ is a breakthrough for you!
That moment you saw that person, your legs seem to turn jelly.
You really dunno how to deal with that.
You were so afraid he/she see you.
What to do?
You wanna to get out of this nightmare fast!
Tell yourself I want to FACE THE GIANT (Fear) then your legs seem to turn strong.
Tell yourself I want to FACE THE GIANT (Fear) when you really dunno how to deal.
Tell yourself I want to FACE THE GIANT (Fear), then face he/she with no fear.
Tell yourself I want to FACE THE GIANT (Fear) when you asked youself-What to do?
Tell yourself I want to FACE THE GIANT (Fear) then you’ll get out of this nightmare
FAST
FASTER
FASTEST
Most important is to get out of this bondage (fear) and be set free!
So be ready to
FACE THE GIANT (Fear)
on December 18th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
Dear Bryan and all the lovely pple here:
Wow…there’re so much pain and hopelessness here…(but I also see kindness and the willingness to share love
)
Hi Bryan…just curious…when you first started this ‘单元’ here…what were your thoughts, what led you to start this? I thought being a celebrity, you’d be terribly busy and wouldn’t have time for such…
]
To my mind, celebrities are in a class by themselves; sometimes I really envy celebrities and the seemingly glamorous lives they lead (especially overseas celebrities-perhaps bcos they seem so different); at other times, I feel glad I’m not in such an environment bcos I feel certain that it’s a dog-eat-dog world in there, I feel sure that there must be alot of ‘fakery’ and false fronts (pardon me, these are just my personal opinions): but, be that as it may, I do still wonder about celebrities and the kinda lives they lead…(” ,)
Apologies, this is just an aside…
[Hmm...if I ever ever have the chance, I'd really love to have the opportunity to meet you in person (" ,) I admire your keen intelligence and the way your mind works, and your hardworking attitude and doggedness in pursuit of your goals; but at the same time I also frowned upon your attitude to your co-workers in 摆家乐; they're perhaps just camera crews and back support pple, but that doesn't make them any less human...they have pride too you know...
Hmm…after reading quite a number of the entries here, I thought I’d like to share a few of my thoughts here:
I agree totally with 马珏俐 & HH, the part about having a mentor…sometimes we all need a pillar of strength and wisdom in our lives, when we’ve lost our way: the part about committing your thoughts (and perhaps, pain) to paper actually helps to heal you; it helps you put your life in perspective and gives you a clearer insight into the state of your mind; it helps you to move through your pain and fear…
Many times in my life, I’ve encountered pain, depression, fear, sadness and hopelessness too…when I were younger (I’m late 20s now
), whenever I get angry and hurt, I’d sometimes have vengeful or hurtful thoughts about the pple whom I deemed to have hurt me; however, I realised as I grow up that harbouring hatred and vengeful thoughts, not only sapped my energy, it keeps me from growing mentally, emotionally, and spiritually…it practically consumed me and warped my world…
)
I learnt recently in a psychology course that forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts to yourself…forgive yourself, and forgive others who have hurt you; sometimes, they behaved the way they did, bcos it is the only way they know how, the only world they know (that is with the so-called snobs in mind too
Many times, pple behaved the way they did becos deep down, they have alot of fear and pain; so they used snobbery, anger and other emotions or facets to deal with it…it is all but a defense mechanism…if, during the journey of your life you’ve had friends you no longer can travel the path with, forgive them the hurt they’ve caused you, and bless them, in your mind…extend to them the love that you have in you (this may sound like a tall order at the time of your deepest pain, but when you look back on your life, isn’t the person you hated the most also having a difficult struggle?) I’ve had an ex-coll who caused me alot of pain and tears once, but over time I learnt to forgive him and understand that deep down, he was suffering from alot of fear and uncertainty…
If you’re the one on the other side of the line, and you find friends deserting you one by one, examine yourself in your mind. Are you exhibiting signs of dependency and neediness? Signs of negativity? The more dependent and needy one is, the more they push pple away from them…
Many times in life, friends come and go, in this day and age, few are those who really connected on a heart-to-heart level…be easy on yourself, if a friend choose not to travel the same path as you do, let him/her go with your blessings…learn to let go, and something new and better will come along to take its place; such is the working of the universe that nothing will stay empty for long…(” ,) Have faith in yourself…
It is precisely bcos we have withdrawn from those around us, that we suffer from pain and hurt…sometimes when we commit to join with them, to communicate with them, we bridge the gaps and clear the air…the basis of success in our lives (whatever we deem it to be) is relationships. When we improve our relationships with those around us, we make a great leap forward in our lives…
I too, encourage you to read extensively (and I don’t mean fiction); many times we find wisdom and enlightenment in the books we read…and try to show a little kindness to someone everyday…it could be a stranger on the road, or the stray on the street…a little kindness goes a long long way…when you breed kindness in your heart, you find that your world becomes a better place…(” ,)
Believe in the power of your mind; your thoughts are realities…whatever you think of in your mind, will exhibit themselves in the world around you…
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” (” ,)
With lots and lots of love and blessings,
~Angel
on December 18th, 2007 at 4:57 pm
Hi Bryan,
Tis post is regarding my N lvl result…i did quite well for the subjects and didnt expect to get top for certain subjs. However i had thought it through tat i will carry on sec 5 since my aggregate allow me to do so as i wish to give a strike for a better reult next yr for my O lvl. So i guess its a better choice than taking a (short cut) to study for a yr of higher nitec den two yr poly bahx….?
btw belated congrats to you for getting the (shi da zui shou huan ying nan yi ren) award. congrats….
on December 18th, 2007 at 10:56 pm
Hi Angel,
Read your post and interest in the course but what and where is the psychology course you attended? How long is it? Any details available? Thanks!
on December 19th, 2007 at 10:40 am
Hello dear Depressed
First off…why don’t you take the first step to a better world for you? Change your nick!! Change it to ‘雨过天晴’, or ‘Joy’ or whatever you like that has a positive note to it…remember…what you think of in your mind shapes your world…you must WANT to improve your situation…and have the courage to do it…think of an encouraging mantra and repeat it to yourself everyday (” ,) ~hmm actually…apologies but I didn’t read thru all your postings so I’m not so sure what plagues you…
As for the details of the course, why don’t you PM me so I can tell you more? I feel a little wary talking bout it here…wait pple think I’m advertising…hehe…
My addy is: dcorps@hotmail.com
“Courage, my dear…you do not stand alone in this world.”
Love, and blessings
~Angel
on December 19th, 2007 at 8:42 pm
Angel, didn’t your course teach you about not thinking too much? or not to be over sensitive? Why would you think ppl will think you are advertising? I think we will think is good because that will benefit many ppl. I think this is the “blind spot” and common problem about all. know how to tell ppl not to be sensitive but actually didn’t know themselve is actually doing it….do you agree? not just you, including myself i do make this mistake but i just hate it when ppl only know how to say or tell others or even reprimand or make comments without really understanding. Thought since you are into this area you shouldn’t be making this mistake in this instance. Just a thought …Maybe you like to enlightenment on me this? Thank.
on December 20th, 2007 at 4:58 am
I just learnt about something today, like to share it with everyone:
> — 老子
手把青秧插野田，低頭便見水中天，
六根清淨方為稻，退步原來是向前。
Somehow, in just 4 lines, Mr. Lao Zi had already summarised the attitude that we, humans, should have dealing matters in our daily life or even in face of adversity etc.
I do not know the exact meaning he wants to convey as I am not a taoist. However, in whatever we want to do, starting a new career, getting a new life, starting a new relationship, no matter what, we have to always be clear of what we are doing, then can we do things right. If we aren’t able to follow the rightful standard of procedures, following our morality and principles, nothing could be accomplished. Hence, to quote a phrase: “如果違背了水稻的培植生長的規律，水稻就不能順利出苗、長秧、開花、結實，就不能獲得豐收。所以，「六根清淨方為稻」。”
Of cos, there may be alot more other tao teachings hidden in this, but I’ll like to emphasize particularly on the last line which I find very useful. When dealing with a problem, sometimes we can’t blindly charge forward and force ourselves into searching for an answer. Certain times, taking a step back, one may realise how the entire rule of the game works. This is what we chinese call “以退为进”.
So, all friends out there, if your problem isn’t solved yet. Maybe it is time to take a step back, take a breather from all the pressures that’s on you, clear your mind and think of the bigger picture. What kind of a result you really yearn for? What kind of path could be taken to move to that destination? Its only when you know what you are doing and the environment you are in, then can you get hold of opportunities around you.
Jia You! An early Merry Christmas to all~
Regards,
Peiying
on December 20th, 2007 at 11:21 pm
Hello menotangel
Wow…there’s so much anger in your msg that I cringed when I first read it…it has caused me no small amount of trauma…I can assure you…(maybe I should scream at you and throw the trauma back to you…haha)
Through my own process, the very thing required of me, is to be connected back with my heart…that means alot of digging, self-exploration and self-awareness…in my past, I’ve felt such pain and fear that I’ve become trapped, and disconnected (nothing much I did I could feel happy about)…so much so that I was in denial, not willing to think about any of the situations that happened in my life…until my life became a repeated pattern so much so that in order to break free, I have to think and dig and face my demons…
I would not want to offend the sensibilities of anyone here, hence my previous msg was but a direct response to depressed…(” ,)
Haha…no I did not tell depressed not to be sensitive…this part I do not accept…(” ,)
But, you know, I agree with you, the very thing we tell others to do, we should be doing ourselves…I guess that’s why we all need friends and family, to tell us what we can’t see…(” ,) Would you believe me if I tell you that if, or whenever, I attempt to give advice to others, I’m very aware of it myself?
I think we both care about depressed…so much so that I very much wish to help depressed onto a better path (the only way I know how to, at this moment, is to share my own experiences, for I’ve suffered betrayal and hurt too, and learning to forgive (” ,)-I didn’t manage to read through all of depressed’s stories, but enough to understand the pain and the hurt behind it)…and so much so that you feel angry?
In any case, I still have a long long long road ahead in my process and it’s not going to be easy… I’m learning every time and I look forward to all that I can gain and receive…and I still have many of my own issues to face too…at the end of it I only wish to regain my intuition…and my heart…
Thank you, for being here…(” ,)
Cheerrrrrrssss!! And blessings…
~Angel
P.S. whether or not the course will benefit others, is for them to choose…for me I simply have to go through my own process…and the rest will take care of itself…(” ,)
“The light at the end of the tunnel may not be the light you seek after all, it could be the train coming towards you
”
on December 20th, 2007 at 11:58 pm
Dear Depressed
Oh dear I realised I may have come across wrongly when I said in my previous msg bout ‘having the courage to do it’…
Personally I feel that you are courageous to improve your situation by asking me about my course…pplleeaassee do not construe it the wrong way alright?
I take full responsibility for what I’ve said…(“,)
Cheers, and blessings…
~Angel
on December 21st, 2007 at 10:20 pm
Angel, my apologies to you……i am very angry because of my encounters……
on December 25th, 2007 at 5:23 pm
There are only a few more days left to the end of 2007~
I hope 2008, a brand new year will be a brand new beginning for all of us here.
Especially for Bryan too!
To all those who are experiencing problems, if you are a human you will:
Don’t give up. Especially on yourself.
There is still hope if only you have faith in yourself.
Many a times, failure comes because we give up on ourselves. Problems come to shape us into a stronger weapon to deal with the many uncontrollable elements in life.
We can grow weaker, or stronger. It’s all in us.
To all who have dreams to achieve, let’s fight hard!!
MAY I ATTAIN THE DREAM OF BEING IN THE ARTISTE MANAGEMENT UNIT!! And hopefully to be Bryan’s PA! *lol*
on December 27th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
i’m here writing again.it’s been quite awhile.hope someone can help me bahx.i was being told by a lady who was giving me a haircut.she said “your hair have a lot of dandruff.”3 times.i was really embarrassed.there were some boys staring at me like i’m some kind of freak from outer space.i swear they were talking bout me.i could jus die of embarrassment there.my mum even left me there getting all the stares.Then after it was done, she kept rubbing salt into my wound.how could she?i was really hurt by the words already, there she still saying.so what if i had a lot of dandruff?that lady could wait until i had my haircut then tell me.at least i won’t get humilited in front of so many people in the shop.haizz.i felt so upset & angry.i really can’t stand this type of situation.i felt so helpless and sick of everything.i’m such a loser.everything i do is wrong.i could jus die.i’m imperfect but what am i supposed to do?=[[
on December 27th, 2007 at 7:00 pm
Hi Star,
I understand how you feel and also your mum.
Try anti dandruff shampoo (don’t use 3 in 1). I used to have lots of dandruff. Don’t go to that salon until you have your dandruff prob solved (should you still want to go there).
Tell yourself that is not big problem.Believe me, is easily solved just by washing with the right shampoo. Don’t used conditioner on your scalp.
on December 28th, 2007 at 8:20 am
thanks depressed!^^
um..do you have any recommendations?i’m currently using head & shoulders, but that lady said mayb not suitable for my hair.
on December 28th, 2007 at 10:18 pm
Hi Star,
I used head & shoulder (not 3 in 1 type) too and it cured my dandruff. Did she tell you why not suitable? Did she recommend any anti dandruff for you?
If you have used for sometime and still no improvement or if it worsen, then you should stop using that shampoo. Most important is don’t use 3 in 1 and don’t use conditioner on scalp. Normally anti dandruff will make hair drier but shouldn’t worsen. Maybe you can go to another salon and ask them to recommend one that is suitable for your hair. (think normally they will recommend their brand or they sell, but generally will be more expensive) You can ask and then get from outside.
on December 29th, 2007 at 12:53 am
Is having a degree really that impt? Should one just for the sake of getting a degree, study something she don’t like? i am so upset. 2007 has been a bad year for me. And now, my transfer from a design course to business course in uni is denied. I am already in year 2 of the course and just found my direction in life. I always like design but its really “spoiling” my interest studying it. Needless to say, extremely taxing. But design is definitely not what i want as a job next time when i graduate. But now, I have nowhere to go. Business course rejected me and I have no interest in science at all. Sometimes, i feel my life is so screwed up. No talent. Sometimes, i wish i wasnt born at all in this cruel society. I am extremely upset now, not knowing what to do. To continue studying design? or just quit university and go into the workforce, being look down by ppl because of the fact that i don’t own a degree, not even a diploma, just an A level cert?
on December 30th, 2007 at 9:33 am
Hi upset,
I understand is tough studying what one don’t like now! How many more yrs left before you will graduate? If is 1 yr, then I suggest you complete it because is really pity if you quit now. (I know is easy for me to say that and you may even know already…However, if you really have found your direction, then is very SURE, then I think is no harm switching to that course now) But will you feel the same when you are into the business course because from your post, actually you liked designing just that studying it is different and “spoil” your interest…studying business course is equally taxing if not less, so if is just to “escape”, then maybe you may try to complete design course and then if you really still interested in business course, you can try applying it again during the next intake?
Even with a degree, there are ppl who will still look down on you because there are really too many types of ppl in this society!! Those who look down maybe holding degree, or higher than you, can also be lower than you! That is, doesn’;t mean having a degree , will not be look down by anyone! But is always good to pursue (hoping for knowledge and not just for “PAPER”)!
Working experience and “future” performance is more important though “PAPER” is essential for promotion criteria in some company! Hope you feel better and clearer now.
on December 30th, 2007 at 11:17 am
Hi depressed!
ohh..she said the minerals or something not suitable.Can’t remember=x but thanks for your suggestions though!i will try other products bahx.see which one will work better for my hair.=]
stay happy & take cares!=D
on December 31st, 2007 at 1:54 am
Thanks depressed. I am in year 2. Because its a direct honours course, i still have like 3 years to go. argh. I was thinking will it be better if i go to art institution like lasalle to study. But then again, I don’t really know what I want. All the while in my secondary school and junior college, i have been studying the norm by going into the science stream. I am very sure i do not want to study science anymore.
on December 31st, 2007 at 11:36 pm
Hi all! Until this moment, I am still feeling very very depressed! Have been feeling very depressed since a few weeks ago because of many things happening!! Hope I and those who are upset, etc can be better and happier!!! BRYAN,AUNTY HOPE, PIGCAHONTAS AND ALL: HAPPY NEW YEAR!
on January 6th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
I heard about this some time ago but never got down to writting in. I would like to know how you determine if a person has depression or is just going through a normal mood downturn. I’m kind of lost.
on January 6th, 2008 at 11:41 pm
Dear upset,
Before you even think of transfering, maybe you should think of the kind of job you will like when you graduate. Its not about I don’t like science thats why I turn to business. Ultimately, many of us will like to venture into something we like and pursue it as our career. Do not panic or despair. I’ve many friends who actually went to the wrong course in their uni and change to another during their second year. Its still not too late. So whats more important now for you is to sit down and think of what you’ll like to do in the future?
Regards
on January 9th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Hello Bryan.
I really need your help. I’m 14 & my streaming takes place this year. Which is very important to me. I have been a straight As student. Until my Chinese took a turn for the worse. I’ve been paying extra attention to Chinese lessons now, not forgetting the others. But the problem is, I can’t handle the pressure any longer. I just want to do well, that’s all. I decided to quit my choir CCA & join librarian instead since it only takes up a day (230-430) whereas my choir takes up 2 days (230-530) because I’ve been handing in my homework late especially during my choir days.
As you can see, choir has really been affecting me in alot of ways. Late homeworks, not getting enough of sleep & I even suffered terrible headaches most of the time.
I went to look up for my CCA teacher the past 2 days however she claimed that she was busy, until today. I told her everything. About me can’t handle the stress & all. What I didn’t like was when she compared me with my friends. I told her that I am different, I have my limits but she took a deaf ear to it & scolded me right in the face. I don’t hate her, I just wanted her to understand.
What can I do to convinced, or proved, to her?
I’m really tired.
Thank you.
on January 9th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
to audrey,
don really think that you owe her any explanation..you don have to prove anything or have to convince her because you know very well what you are going thru..if you have your priorities right, i don see why quiting the choir is that bad a choice. Perhaps your teacher has to handle one too many students or she might be under stress therefore, she reacted the way she did. But i think she should cross examine the way she handles things.No one should use comparison to put people down and i hope that you take good note of this lesson. This is something that you should not learn from her! Everyone is built differently and stress tolerance differs from every individual.Don feel bad about what others could endure and you couldn’t. We all are simply different..Ya? SO, concentrate on tweaking the problems that you have in your Chinese and emerge victorious..Cheers!!!
on January 11th, 2008 at 12:00 am
Hey bryan,
i’ve a little “home decor problem” tat i hope u can give me some of your ingenious and creatives ideas. my humble nest is a 3-room flat in the east. However, due to the very nature of my flat, i have no store room!
of the 3 rooms in the house, one is my bedroom. one i have turned into my study cum guest room; and the last little utility room at the back (2/3rd the size of a normal HDBroom) is the latest add-on as a result of MUP. This little room has a splendid unblocked view but now it is filled to the brim with my stuff (i’m a hoarder!). i’ve demolished the wall separating my living room and my kitchen, so, the whole place used to look rather airy…but unfortunately, as my stuff is increasing everyday, the house is starting to look like a 2nd hand bookstore….
i’m cracking my head to try to think of ways to add more space and find storage for unsightly items like brooms etc…..any ideas?????? will be most grateful!
Thanks in advance Mr home decor guru! ;p Cheers!
Vanzephyr
on January 11th, 2008 at 12:24 am
hiya bryan again,
forgot to add in my earlier msg that my whole house is painted white and i’m really into bohemian chic & the 60′s’s retro kind of look. i’m not a big fan of dusting; so will really really appreciate ideas that will add storage & yet not require too much dusting and cleaning. thanks so much!
vanzephyr
on January 11th, 2008 at 12:36 am
Dear bryan,
i need some advice from you. I have a gf and we r together for about 1yr. She is staying somewhere in the east and i am staying in the west. She is quite a domineering and bad tempered person. When she cant get wad she wanted and she will lose her temper and it is I who always gives in to her “princess” attitude ways. Her mentality is quite old fashioned, where guys must always give in to girls and girls shld be treat like a princess. That’s her mindset for a relationship. For me is otherwise, i think that relationships is like a give and take kind of thing. My peers felt that I m being bullied in this relationship and I really don like wad i m going through now. How can I make this r/s into a more equal r/s? Also…is it a must to send a girl home after every date, taking into consideration that the travelling distance between us is so far. I feel that she is really not understanding and that it is I who always give in to her demanding ways. haiz.
on January 16th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
thanks peiying. : )
i am pretty sure if i can, i would want to be a designer. or rather something to do with arts. its my childhood dream. However, after pondering for some months, i guess i will eventually pursue a business degree first. Maybe after that if i have the opportunity, i would pursue a design career. my parents arent very supportive of me going into design and i don’t like the idea of my parents staying up late because i am still in school rushing for projects late at night. anyway, my mind is pretty messed up now and i hope to come up with a final conclusion soon. Its not good feeling dangling halfway in the air.
on March 14th, 2008 at 7:05 am
Hi Bryan
Time for fellowship? I wonder how was the others? Hope that they’re fine.
on March 20th, 2008 at 12:55 am
Hi Bryan,
This was the post I was looking for. I googled your name and and article “Uncle Agony” came up. I really feel kinda weird telling you this, but as I read through the article, I see how you seem to have helped people allowing them to just let it out persay, and maybe can help me clear some thougths. I don’t know even where to begin, I guess I just want to be able to let it out, even if it is to a stranger. I guess I am acting weird, at the same time relieved to let it off my chest. I just want to say, I feel trapped, and feel like ther is a void in my life, and I am not going anywhere. I have friends and family whom I know really loves me, and I them. I just feel like I don’t belong anywhere. Thoughts of letting go has come and gone, then I think of my family, and how much they would miss me and the pain I may cause them. Sometimes I guess it seems unbearable, and I would sit quietly in a corner and remenis about the past. Maybe I feel that I could have done something different and feel guilt. I might have lots of regrets. Not loving enough, not living enough. How can I change to be a better person. I endulge myself in music as to get away from things. And though I dont’ know any chinese, the sounds of the melodic ballads and from singers such as Jay Chou, Michael Wong sounds so poetic and at the sametime calming and I lose my self in the melody of the whole thing. I don’t know if I am suffering from some sort of depression, or just remorse. I smile enough, though inside I can feel myself crying out. I can portray a happy outlook, and I wear my mask well… I just feel that loneliness is scary, and that I feel very alone and not be able to express myself. I am sorry for this being so long, I just hope I can feel better after sending this. I am still pondering, but I know, if I hit the submit button right away, there is no turning back.
Thanks for listening
B
on December 11th, 2008 at 7:00 am
Hi Byran
I’ve been totally healed this April. I’ve started to blog last month, a big Thank You for your efforts and Hope that others are fine too. Miss you all!
on January 7th, 2009 at 4:07 am
Hi Byran
Thank you for your blessing upon my life, just want to share my postings with you.
on April 7th, 2009 at 3:25 am
To Hope, Bryan…
As my nick suggested, I guess I’m now able to change it to happy… Although I don’t feel as happy as compared to the past when I have more friends compared to now. Is being nearly 2 years since that ‘nightmare’ have happened to me… But like what you all had said to me in the past, time will gradually heal our wounds… Right now, I guess I am still undergoing this… But I guess, what I am feeling now is definitely different from what I undergo 2 years ago. I guess I am really able to let go but still the road of recovery is never easy. Luckily I have a few friends of mine helping me as the days goes by…
I will also never forget how you and Aunty Hope help me in the past, giving me advice, teaching me what to do, how to face my problem and etc… Right now, I guess the person who is suffering most is still my mum who is trying to run away from reality that her son actually … …
Nevertheless, is really grateful that I met you all and helped me out if not, I guess, I wouldn’t be writing this here… …
Thanks alot Aunty Hope and you, BRYAN!!!
Hope to get a reply from you!!!
on April 8th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
wowowowowowowow!!!! My dearest Unhappy now turned HAPPY!!!!!!
How time flies, isn’t? two years has gone by???
Am really glad that things are working out for you….and thank you for letting us know!!
Amazing …thought that this thread has gone into the history books and yet, it came alife again! with such good news too!!!
p/s Dear Aunty hope, its been done….
on April 9th, 2009 at 4:05 am
Celebrate! Happy, Celebrate!
Celebrate! Happy, Celebrate!
It(Thread) has successed Bryan, It(Thread) has successed!
And forever more!
I shall never forget what this thread has done for me!
Praise the good work, praise the good work.
It has came alife again!
p/s Dearest Bryan, deepest appreciation…..
on April 21st, 2009 at 12:23 am
Thanks Bryan…
Is all because of the news that I read 2 years ago that make me enter this webby and getting to know all the people here… Giving me precious advices on how to cope this all those things that I faced in the past that make me feel being trapped… I guess this is somethings what everyone hope to get from when coming here to share their problem…
When I looked thru all the post that I have posted here, feelings and thoughts all came flowing back to me telling me how foolish I was, treating myself and hurting myself…
Really thanks to You and Aunty Hope for bringing a new hope to me again…
May GOD BLESS U 2!
on April 22nd, 2009 at 6:05 am
Happy(NO Doubt)
Glad that you are treating yourself well and loving yourself, most importantly stopped hurting yourself. Ones who loves thyself will love others too. Hold On, Press in Everlasting(HOPE). Every new day, your mind is being renew and you will find yourself growing from glory to glory. May the peace of mind guard your heart forever and forever. You are blessed and truly loved by people who surrounded you, there are angles protecting you, Happy.
Bryan, you have sow a good seed and you’ll reap what you sow.
God bless the both of you.
on May 25th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
Ha!
You would think that they world have OK’d it at the beginning instead of allowing it to go so long without saying a thing and then bringing it back up when it was too late. I don’t understand it at all. Hoodia
on September 6th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Hi Bryan,
I would to ask youl. if a stranger criticised you said that ..” you are so lian” on the train. How you react? scold her or what? i was company my fren on her way back. I just look at at her fren ipod. She is so sensitive about her mdel that she was using. So she said that to me when she was alight. I am really angry and just kept quiet.
on September 7th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
dear fei lis,
just don’t bother with ppl like her..she does not mean anything to you thus her comments are just plain noises:)
on September 8th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Dear Bryan,
我遇到很困扰的问题。如果你遇到身边的一些人每次很喜欢‘指桑骂愧’（zhi sang ma kui)，应该怎么应付或处理？别人知道是在讲你或critised 你。有时候会‘指桑骂愧’散播一些不真实的事情或讲出一些关于你的事情给大家听。我已经不啃声但是长期下去别人会对我误解，对吗？ 请指教。 （或者你可以email 给我）谢谢你
on September 8th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
dear huizhi,
actually we can choose what to listen..if they are intentionally try ing to make life hell for you, then i guess rebutting would only satisfy their aim, which is to get u really upset..however, people who truly knows u would not give a damn about the untrue accusations that fly off from those people, and so, frankly my dear, don’t have to give a damn..let them waste their time on such unmoral pastime..there will be bad karma for them anyway, so, let nature punish them lor..as for you, most importantly, be true to yourself and know who u are, u just need to account to yourself:)
on September 15th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Hi Bryan,
Im facing some problem in my office. Hope u can help me. My office is full of politics. Im doing well in my autocad designing project. My boss likes me. So alot of people jealous on me and trying to pull me down, backstab me, gossip on me and always attack my weakness I do have a quite close colleague in my department but she has left quite few mths ago. So most of them is my enemy. They always against my design idea and did not listen to me. My boss also knew that but did not do anyting to help me out. i did not bother them but they always backstab me in front of my boss.
on September 21st, 2009 at 3:06 pm
dear linda..hmmm…perhaps one thing u could do now is actually try to befriend these enemies and show them that u r better off as a friend than a foe..offic epolitics are..well..ever exisitent and there are no absolute ways to totally eradicate them.no man is an island..u need to have allies at yout workplace..work on that:)
on September 23rd, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Thanks Bryan. I will try on it.
on January 20th, 2010 at 6:48 pm
Hi i need some advice regarding friendship issue ! Just happened to me last dec 2009 !
My blog : http://www.kohedina.blogspot.com
All i wants is to give a Christmas gift to a some 1 i call friend. what did i really do wrong ??
Just happened to me a few days ago or should i say last year…
Part 1 (Part 2 : 3rd Christmas Gift 2009 for Lovely Buddy)
Both G and I was working at the same hospital but different area.I was working at A/E while he was working at ICU. He had changed while working at ICU. His temper becoming worse.
This Christmas, i got for him a gift. For some reason , he do not like the gift. Ok i went and buy a second gift on 25/12/2009. I had called & sms him. Asking him when will he be so that i could pass him his gift. I don’t mind to meet him either before or after his duty start since both of us are working at the same hospital.
I went up to his ward to pass the gift to his staffs as he was not around. Sadly to say, i gotten a sms from him saying that he do not like it and that he had dumped it away. He say he prefer a “sitting ” /another version of the toy. That hurts. A gift is suppose to be a gift of thought. Even if he don’t like it, he can always return to me or give to others. Am i silly ? I actually went to the shop and got a gift for the 3rd time !
went up to G ward to pass the 3rd Christmas to his ward staff as he was no around.
Enclosed was a note from me. I wrote that i cam e up to the ward as he was not free to meet me & that i was unable to contact him via mobile phone.
The very next day, i got a few nasty sms-es from G.
He said that the Night Duty Ward sister had seen the gift & the note & she was not pleased at all.
( FYI : i never written any thing negative about the ward or the ward staffs.)
I tried to ask for more details but G didn’t reply me. I really don’t know why was the ward sister angry. Perhaps she do not like people to pass items during working hours ? But i never had this problems at other wards & hospitals.
I called the ward & request to speak to the ward sister. I mean, i do have a right to know what was happening right ? Especially if i was the 1 who had caused all these “problems ”
I still wrote the letter.
After all the telephone numbers i used to call up the ward happened to be the telemetry line. Honestly , i didn’t know that. I got the number from the hospital operators when i called up the hospital main line !
Also another thought that may crossed some of the people’s mind will be that the items i sent up to the ward may not be termed “safe ” especially now that we have read about terrorist’s cases every now & then in the papers right ?
Here, i would like to say some thing , if this was the cases, didn’t we see florists or even delivery man sending items up to the ward or even HA/Potters pushing their trolleys here & then ? How sure can we be that they are not some terrorists in disguise ?
I am very grateful to my friend shu han & his girlfriend for coming down to the hospital at around 1045pm just to accompany me & to shu han for going up to the ward with me to submit the letter !
Originally, i had planned to ask Gabriel (Level 5) to help me to pass the letter to G (Level 6) on my behalf. However Gabriel was not on duty on this very day !
Deja Wu ? For some reason , i just have a weird “feeling” that he was just making a fool out of me. Such as setting a time limit that he wished to have the letter by 10pm BUT he may not submit it to the ward sister. Yes, i have posted 1 copy of the letter to the ward.
Also i would like to tell everyone that no matter how stressful you feel, you shouldn’t have” threaten” your friends.
I had read Sunday times (3/1/2010) – True Nature Of Friendship By Lee W.L and i feel that if G apologise to me, i would have forgive him. I will treat it as he was feeling stressful as working at ICU is not easy.
Of course , it will take more than a mere sorry for me to forgive him.
The ward sister who answered my duty was not aware of this issue as she was not the Night ward sister was duty.
G came to know that i had called up the ward……
G “threatened” that if i do not wrote a apology letter to his ward sister, he too, will come down to my work area to make a fuss.
Now , to my simple mind, all these would not have happen if only he just take the 1st gift right ? i want to “make things right ” ..that was the reason why i buy /change 2nd and even 3rd gift..
Can any 1 please advice me …thanks
on January 20th, 2010 at 6:51 pm
Refer to my above post
ALL i want was to give a gift to some one i call “friend ”
Now can some one tell me…in what way was i wrong ?
If a friend had make you mad, don’t forget that friend had also make you happy before…
Friendship is when you have had a huge fight, deciding once for all… ‘That’s it’, but then you decide to put aside your egos, hold hands & say, “Let be friends again”